March 2002 Archives
March 27, 2002
had a big stink at work regarding the dress code on friday. i was wearing a black tank top i had just bought for work - my other one, by joe boxer, was too short, semi-see through, and the back often dropped low enough to expose my entire bra strap. so i got another at eddie bauer with that built-in shelf bra thingy in it to cut down on the see-throughness of it. its much longer than my other one and doesnt expose any underwear.
after devotions friday, karen called me into her office and asked me if i had brought another shirt. i had brought a blue eddie bauer pullover in case i got chilly. she said that bob had requested i put another shirt on because i was in violation of the dress policy. i complied quickly, then asked karen what was wrong with my tank top. she was unsure, but said she would find out.
today i had reminded her that she was going to look into the policy for me. as i was leaving at five, she again called me into her office, this time to tell me what was inappropriate about my tank top.
apparently she had gone to the head of personnel and asked. they had to do some speculating because nothing in the written dress code indicated my tank top was inappropriate for the workplace. they came up with the following two 'implied' no-nos that my tank top violated:
no bare shoulders
apparently my cleavage had caught and held the attention of a male teen volunteer during prayer. and my bare shoulders make me look like a harlot. or something to that effect. i am uncomfortable following strict rules that are implied and not in writing anywhere. and i told karen that. at least she understood.
now im out the $20 for the tank top, and the blue one i got at the same time that i am now returning. i cant justify a $20 tank top that can only be worn at night and on the weekends.
driving home, i either had an epiphany, or God was speaking to me. im inclined to believe it was the latter. i discovered that the reason i dress to show off my legs and my well-endowed chest is to get men to notice and approve of me sexually - as a sexual being. and the reason i need this approval/acceptace is that the one person i am supposed to receive it from, my husband, does not give it to me.
we are acting more and more like roomates than spouses. granted, we are great roomates. only married over a year and we are hardly lovers. this thought made me burst into tears. at rush hour. not a good combination.
i am seeking the attention i am not receiving at home. isnt that how many affairs begn? i do believe so. i am now scared. for our relationship, my love for him, my self-esteem.
hes all depressed and irritable tonight. i got frustrated dealing with his self-centeredness that i made guacamole. the stuffs pretty good, too.
odd entertainment: stick fighting
March 25, 2002
the week of my sister's visit has passed. she has gone home a tattooed redhead, much to my parents dismay. pictures soon. i will not see her again until graduation in may.
the week was filled with laughter, love, and a few charlie horses. nothing like some good ol' sisterly love. im kinda glad shes gone. :}
so the heat thing with lacey is not fun any longer. not that it once was, you see.
i cannot sleep with any depth in fear that she will shimmy off her diaper in the course of the night. you should see her rubbing her bum all over the furniture all sly-like trying to get that thing off. she is quite the cutie, even if she is annoying.
we have been cutting up some old teeshirts to make diapers for her, but she has ruined all of those. went to the thrift stores today to get some used cloth diapers. found none. zilch. nada. nothing. so i got some newborn shorts and plastic diapers. am hoping they will work for some time.
she is getting her plumbing fixed on 04apr. i am not doing this ever again.
revival town was given a large donation just a few weeks ago for the purpose of getting a djembe and 'any other percussion towys you need'. wah hoo! played it on sunday - near orgasmic. im going to have to learn a lot of songs over again because of the new, larger instrument compared to the doumbek.
and who says size doesnt matter?
are you?: idiot test
March 14, 2002
got my hair trimmed the other night. its been a few months and my hair was so nasty - tons of split ends. dana ended up taking off around 4 inches.
now my hair is pretty long as is - about a foot and a half, you see. i was told that four inches wasnt really 'all that much' and i should 'quit whining'.
i say bite me. how would you like for me to remove 'only' four inches from your legs (without the painful torture). it is a substantial difference!
buns no longer hold as well in my hair, and my brush keeps expecting those four inches to be there every morning.
March 14, 2002
moe got into town yesterday morning... here for a week. im so excited to spend some time with her. yesterday we went to proactice, saw a movie, went to dinner, then to chena hot springs. then we all crashed.
this morning i discovered that my wonderful dog lacey has gone into heat. the vet had assumed that she had been spayed prior to our receiving her because of a faint scar on her tummy. guess he was halucinating, or shes a dog with strong reprodudctive instincts.
useful: design not found
March 8, 2002
white out just may be the single most entertaining invention known to man. and woman.
i cannot love correction fluid enough. its whiteness inspires an awe like no other inside of me. the little brush with its smooth application is the epitome of beauty - and the chunks that eventually form along the cap and brush give it a quirky nature... much like a senile senior who is just too much fun.
in order to productively pass my time this afternoon at work, i have covered a small pale yellow sticky note with not one, not two, not three, but
four five layers of white out. and im talking completely covering the sticky note. so far.
the only drawback to this wonder-liquid is its stench. and its 'usefullness' as a huffer. to even think of someone misusing this product confuses me.
and no, the fumes are not getting to my head, thank-you-very-much.
entertainment?: cheese racing
March 7, 2002
i have discovered the secret to skinniness. two words: new jeans.
at the bottom of my clean jeans pile i found a pair of 501s on which was still the sizing sticker and all the tags hooked on with those plastic staples. brand spankin new. funny thing is, i cannot remember where they came from. a gift from my mother? perhaps?
but they make me feel skinnier. and i think im looking hhhot. ask my husband - he will wholeheartedly agree. my bum feels and looks very tight in these. no jiggly jiggle for this bum when i walk. oh yeah.
March 7, 2002
what a roller coaster day. huge blow up with my host, and apparently all for nothing over one terrible misunderstanding by someone in a completely different company. argh. im not going into details - i do not want to taint anyones perception of my host, because i am still completely happy with them and their service. now to turn my nastiness on this other company. and can i ever get nasty. with that, i would like to extend a hey there and howdy to my man mike. not that he reads this. but he put up with quite a bit of my nastiness the past day and a half, and has survived. yeah, mike!
this morning i got to see my first sun dog. it was around 10am, around 0°F, and as clear and sunny as a beautiful morning can get. my love called from his work to instrruct me to gather the entire staff on the back porch and look at the sun. after adjusting our pupils to the brightness, it was beautiful. three sun dogs surrounded the bright sun, all connected by a thin rainbow - one directly above, one to the right, and one to the left of the sun. beautiful. and then there was a larger rainbow farther off to the left of the sun. i guess i hadnt even really understood what a sun dog was before seeing it this morning. wish i had my camera...
dream haven: slow wave
March 1, 2002
i love the smell of vanilla nut cream coffee grounds. a nice owner of a local coffee shop donates pre-measured packages of vanilla nut coffee that i make at least twice a day. i simply love that smell. not when it is dripping, but dry directly from the package. this morning after emptying the packet i stood there and just smiffed its gorgeous aromas. i am even tempted to have a cup of joe, even though i know in my head and in my heart that it will taste disgusting. i think for now i will just be content to sniff and sniff and sniff and...
waste some time: orsinal