April 2002 Archives
April 30, 2002
what is it about the time between 7am and 8am that makes my body get some of its most restful sleep? i can toss and turn all night long, but as soon as 7am comes around, i drop straight into a deep rem sleep and wake rested.
my most vivid dreams perform during this one hour. perhaps the reason i wake so rested?
my puppy has not yet perfected the art of bladder control - or rather her bladder is so tiny that she cannot hold it for over six hours during the night. oddly, the 8+ hours during the day she holds it fine.
she woke me at 5.30 this morning with the painful need to relieve herself. after about a half hour, i obliged and let her out. half hour (ish) later b let her out.
so i merely dozed from 5.30 until 7 when my alarm went off. which i promtly turned off and rolled over onto b's pillow and dropped into a deep sleep.
i finally got up around 7.20, only to lie on the couch moaning at my missed restful sleep. b left for work shortly after; i remained on the couch in my underwear and slept. had to make myself get up at 7.40 because i felt myself slipping into the blessed rem.
good thing i didnt have to be to work at 8 this morning. why? had to bring lacey to the vet after 8. shes getting her plumbing rerouted. puppy factory is closed for good. gone out of business. i have to pick her up tonight - shes not going to be inmuch of a playful mood, i tell you.
April 28, 2002
we went to my brothers yesterday and stayed until 1am making candles. man, that is so fun to do. we ended up with a great little collection.
and the great thing is that b came, too. he didnt hop onto the computer, nor did he sulk in one corner reading comics. he was 100% involved with what was going on, laughing and everything. it was great - reminded me of the time i feel in love with him.
but then this morning hes back to being depressed. being alone in our apartment for a few hours (while i continued to sleep) was pretty rough on him, being unable to get onto the game. and that is understandable.
saturday he did lay the linoleum down in the bathroom - a project left undone for a few months. i am very grateful to no longer be walking on pieces of plywood. the new piece of vinyl that the landlord gave us tries to look like imitation wood. it is pretty bad, but much better than the holes.
so now to destroy all of his collected paperwork on the game - quests, skills, maps - and then the cds. the cds i need to find still, but i just asked him where he put those files.
what should i do with the other games that he was semi-addicted to before eq that are still on the computer? im considering ditching them as well because he has a highly addictive nature - especially right now. but he hasnt been on the computer today or yesterday in order to avoid thinking about the game. who thinks i should ditch these other games as well?
April 26, 2002
so i did it. gave him the ultimatum last night. the game, or me. after ages of silence, he asked if he could say goodbye before dumping it. i cried so hard - was genuinely afraid he would choose the game.
beth said that ive got some balls. i still dont know if what i did was the right thing. i feel like this needed to be done, yet i feel like a terrible person to make such demands.
he, needless to say, is not handling it well. if the game is not off of the computer on saturday when i wake up, i am going to either 1) uninstall it myself or 2) tell him i am going to my brothers until it is gone. i do know that saying goodbye to someone or something you love is very hard.
think about us this weekend...
April 25, 2002
i am so tired. today feels like a monday.
in other news (not like there was any original news), my rock name is Leather Love. and dont you forget it, sweetheart. i would have to have the tight black leather pants with the lace-up crotch. ssssexy, eh?
actually, the thought of squeezing the fat from the lower hemisphere of my body into tight, chaffing, unbreathing leather is the farthest thing from sexy.
April 24, 2002
i took today off as my sanity day. didnt go to work, didnt sleep last night until 5am. my tummy hurt and i had a headache, but thats not what kept me up. beth, damon and i stayed up just talking about life, sex, umbrellas. then i slept until 2. havent done that in a loooong long time. missed a lunch for secretaries day, too. oh well - my sanity is more important.
with b being sick, his everquest addiction is much much more apparent than it ever has been before. i did a lot of researching this evening on gaming addictions and even joined a group. doubt ill be all that active in it, but oh well.
ive been feeling pretty low since i awoke. low energy, dont want to shower or get dressed. i am torn between my feelings of 'im so disinteresting that he would rather play that blasted game" to feelings of discontinuing our internet service, breaking his cds, and uninstalling the program.
kind of like throwing a cocaine addicst powder down the toilet.
April 22, 2002
the lady who runs the transportation department here at work is out for the day - at least. shes sick. im talking hospital sick. its pretty bad.
it had better be death-bed bad because i am stuck doing her job. and this is one of the more stressful jobs ive worked in, scheduling rides and such. considering this is the first time ive done anything with this program requiring more thinking than printing off a schedule, i think im doing pretty good.
i do know that i am much firmer than she is with clients, and when i say no, i mean no. im not going to 'see what i can do' with the schedule to 'squeeze them in.' no sir. cant be done, not gonna do it.
and im not going to rush over to give someone a ride who is stranded here or there.
i got so much done this weekend its insane. b is still really sick - hes been out for a whole week now. yikes. so during my empty saturday i finished dishes, which havent been done since moe was here, selected library materials on training my dog, and read two of them.
i clipped laceys coat down to her skin on saturday, leaving her eyebrows and a beard - so very cute. i then gave her a bath. poor thing was tortured all night long, but i can tell you that she felt much better with a short coat.
on sunday, beth and i went out to dinner, then to value village and fred meyer before i pooped out. didnt sleep very well last night, and am currently so tired that i could fall asleep right here on my coworkers desk. its actually looking pretty comfy.
April 19, 2002
got the car back from the shop. tune-up, new struts, alignment. and were out $500. ouch.
now the clutch is stiffer, then engine a little louder and a little higher in pitch, and there are a few cigarette butts on the floor. i hate smokers.
driving home last night, i noticed that hot licks is open for the season. yay! ice cream is my one weakness. fastest way to my heart, i tell you. maybe into my pants, as well...
April 18, 2002
i have been sitting at my desk (the one without the computer) all morning counting postcards for this stupid bulk mailing requesting vehicle donations. do we really need to send out a 'please donate a working car to us' plea to all 1900 people on our mailing list? i know that i, for one, will not be donating any sort of vehicle. and i also know that there is a postcard with my address on it.
we did laundry last night. i love that the laundromat has 40 washers and 20 dryers - it means that i can get all of my laundry done in less than two hours - whether i have one or two weeks worth. i cant imagine the time i would spend doing laundry one load at a time.
what i hate about the laundromat is that there are only 5 places for people to sit. and people who havent showered for weeks. screaming kids. i cant be online during the spin cycle. you know - the usual this-is-unbearable things.
and this muscle in my back is killing me. i shouldnt even be at work. someone should knock me out. or give me another ibuprofen. that would be good.
April 15, 2002
my loves addiction.
April 15, 2002
happy tax day, america. got my return all pretty and mailed last week. which is pretty last minute for me - much later than i would have liked, but better than last year! and, oh, is it snowing. actually right now its more half snow and half hail. hailed like mad yesterday for about five minutes.
my brother marty called last night about five minutes after i hopped offline. his father in law gave them his old computer after he upgraded, and they were having some serious problems with just getting it turned on. i feel bad that i couldnt really help.
he and my relationship is an odd one, at that. he is the next oldest child, but there is a six year difference between us. and he is the last of four boys. so he was the baby boy for six years, then along comes this baby girl stealing the limelight.
much of the time we spent living together at my parents house before he graduated was filled with him licking his thumb and wiping it on my glass lenses. he tried to teach me to ride a bike by positioning me ever so carefully on the seat at the top of our driveway - a suicidal incline - and pushing.
and he is now pretty protective of me. i remember his dismay when, in high school, i was given the gift of a box of condoms. it was convoluted circumstances, yet he just wouldnt understand. and the insistency when he asked about the owner of the ring hanging on a chain around my neck.
were still not very close. hardly, in fact. there are some major parts of his lifestyle i disagree with, but hes family so i still love him. disagreements of this sort dont seem to make for good hanging out, though. we still have those awkward silences where no one knows what to say. hate those.
but he did teach me to drive a three wheeler. gotta give him credit for that.
April 13, 2002
i got some time on the computer today while b and my brother bonded. viola - its all up. new color, new layout, new features, new attitude. i will miss the orthogonal layout greatly, but now that i know what i am capable of, i can aspire to more. man, that sounded very cheesy in that stewart smalley way.
the journal is now interactive. i expect everyone to interact. get involved. have an argument. tell me how cool i am. participate. please. it is quite sad to see so many of those zeros next to the 'speak' link. and i know there are people out there reading my thoughts...
so b just shaved his head. all gone. his goatee is now the only hair on his face. is different, but not bad. its been a while since hes done that. all the hard work i went through to bleach his hair just got tossed into the trash. story of my life.
i guess with this new technology i should be posting more often. this wont increase the length or quality of my posts, you see - only the quantity. i havent decided if that is a good thing or not.
April 11, 2002
poor lacey got into the easter candy b's mom sent to us. she didnt make a huge mess, but instead made sure that she ate every last piece of chocolate available. im thinking it was about the same amount as a hersheys choco bar.
8 ounces can be lethal to a 10 pound dog.
she was all bloated and didnt want to move. i took her outside and gave her 2 tablespoons of hydrogen peroxide to get most of the toxins out of her system. she about hacked up a lung then.... nothing. no vomit. she looked quite happy to have all that peroxide in her stomach.
running in the trees, it happened. it was this marshmallow-creme-in-hot-cocoa color, and about that consistancy. every time she turned her head, she vomited without much preparation. it was rather humorous. poor thing puked and puked and puked - im glad we got most of it out of her system. her tummy wouldnt stop tensing, and i massaged it a bit.
when she was done we went back inside and had a bath. her bloating subsided and she was very, very happy, running full tilt around the apartment.
April 10, 2002
its newsletter time at work again. loosely translated: 'i am majorly stressed out dealing with an unrealistic deadline, an executive director who could care less about deadlines and rarely starts his articles until a week (or two) after the deadline, and three anal-retentive coworkers.'
did you hear? try the font.
April 8, 2002
since the incident with the vet, i have become well accustomed with the animal section in the library. i have found some very interesting information.
a female dog is most fertile the four (4) days *after* she quits bleeding. these four days are called the estrus, or, 'heat'. the period of time during which her labia swell and she bleeds is called proestrus. she is not fertile and will firmly reject any advances by a male.
and the peeing problem she was having that the vet told me wasnt related to her being in heat? thats right - it is.
during heat, the female dog will produce more urine that usual. this is not a complete emptying of the bladder, but instead just a dribbling. its purpose is to carry with it the phermones sitting on the labia to advertise the dogs fertility. one of the books strongly suggested not letting her urinate on the front lawn.
the swelling in her nipples isnt receeding, either. im concerned that she has a false-pregnancy. where the hormones are pumping as though she were pregnant, even though she isnt.
i need to get her in to see a (different) vet soon, im thinking. bah.
April 4, 2002
the whole spaying thing with lacey didnt work out quite as planned. took her in at 8 this morning, told the lady that she quit bleeding just monday. she said that shes probably not through being in heat.
and if shes in heat, there will be an extra $30 for the operation. and then if we discover that shes pregnant, they will have to do another operation to reverse the procedure. thats another $60. the lady wasnt any more helpful in helping me determine how much longer it will be. grr.
and now her nipples are swelling. laceys, not the vets. heh. i dont even know if this is normal for a dog in heat, or if shes pregnant.
she cant be.
she hasnt left our apartment but to pee, and that has been on a leash five feet from the door.
but puppies... i love puppies.
on a slightly different note, i have discovered my true calling - to be a cyborg. i hope its not too late...
April 2, 2002
body for rent.
April 1, 2002
to all the fools of the earth, happy april. learned that my mother-in-law has an evil sense of humour. am glad that she lives almost 600 miles south of me.
spent most of the day on the couch strengthening my gag reflex. mom would be so proud. if i ever ingest another can of 7up or bag of saltines it will bee too son. at least when im sick lacey cuddles a lot. makes me feel loved.
am getting the roundabout from the support desk at my hosting server. im afraid that he knows as little about perl and its core modules than i do. and that is pretty scary.
all im trying to do is get moveable type running to make my life easier. i know this support guy isnt helping me, but i dont have the knowledge to properly refute. but then we have a history of misunderstanding each other, the Lord knows.
great big happy 30th to my big brother.
something different: happy birthday