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February 2003 Archives

in 75 minutes we check

February 28, 2003

in 75 minutes we check out of our old apartment.
im super nervous.
wish us luck.

am i the only one

February 28, 2003

am i the only one to have ever opened an orange with one of those plastic letter openers?

i hate WordPerfect.

February 28, 2003

i hate WordPerfect.

another melissa post. if you

February 28, 2003

another melissa post.
if you dont like it, poop on you.


i had believed that someone

February 28, 2003

i had believed that someone close to me could (and would, at some point) die - until it actually happened, that is. things like that arent supposed to happen.

(slightly) similarly, i guess i didnt truly believe that someone could become so emotionally stressed/overwhelmed that it effects them until i saw it happen to b a few nights ago.


this is just how my

February 27, 2003

this is just how my mom used to fold snowflakes when we made them as kids.
beth didnt believe me.

now that its no longer

February 27, 2003

now that its no longer frostbite-in-15-seconds weather outside (though its not yet sandals-sans-frostbite weather), ive started taking lacey for a 20 minute (at least) walk each night after i get home from work. it makes her super happy, and hopefully it will help me lose the 10-15 pounds ive gained since the funeral.

tonight we discovered there is a pretty big playground just three blocks away from the apartment, complete with small sledding hill (small in comparison to the Hill Of Death and Minus One Brother Trail i grew up with), a basketball court, and miscellaneous playground equipment.

the swings totally freaked the dog out. i put her on my lap and pushed off. we only swung a little ways, but she was clutching to my shoulder with her freshly clipped nails and threatened to seriously jump off at any moment.

maybe shell like the slide better.

I have really never considered

February 27, 2003
I have really never considered myself a TV star. I always thought I was a neighbor who just came in for a visit.

mr rogers has died.

i found out from emma and steveo.

anyone got a tow rope/chain

February 26, 2003

anyone got a tow rope/chain i could borrow this afternoon?

why cant you do your

February 26, 2003

why cant you do your own search for "missing file" that youre certain is on the server? why do you have to intercom me to ask if i know what happened to it? do you really think i keep track of every file on the server as well as your personal hard drive?

why cant you email karen about getting some volunteers? why do you insist on walking out to my desk to request that i ask karen this, when you know all im going to do is email karen.

why cant you get your own clipart online? do you think i have a buttload of clipart perfectly organized and archived for your grubby fingers such that when you say 'crying-girl-holding-orange-balloons-and-a-teddy-bear' that ill be able to pull out fourteen different images for you to choose from?

why do i have to hold your stupid, insecure little hand?

last night was awful. more

February 26, 2003

last night was awful. more than awful.
im a mixture of sad, frustrated, angry, depresed, and hopeless.

to my coworkers: if any one of you talks to me, especially in the form of small talk and meaningless chatter, i just might claw out your eyes.

this is your only warning.

i just received two

February 26, 2003

i just received two large stock photography catalogs, one of which includes an over-excessive use of l33t 5p34k. oh, but they do it in a more creative way, reversing and flipping letters and numbers so that they look more like the letters they replaced.

thats just about as uncool as when ebonics became institutionalized.

the geek in me: pi

February 26, 2003

the geek in me: pi to over ten million places. or up to 400 million places.

im reminded of an episode of third rock from the sun when dick gets some school spirit for some athletic game (football?) and chants his own cheer:

sine - sine - cosine - sine

i still get some kicks over that.
which probably means i need to get out more.

diveintomark discusses how to block

February 26, 2003

diveintomark discusses how to block spambots, spybots, and unwanted robots from crawling your site.
htaccess to the rescue again.

even if the only other

February 25, 2003
even if the only other thing you ate after this breakfast was oxygen, there's still a relatively high chance that your ass will grow hands and tie your intestines in knots to prevent this stuff from ever passing through.

the bane of my designing

February 25, 2003

the bane of my designing existence: the elusive css footer.

im glad to see other people have the same problem; i had assumed it was due to my personal retardedness. like how i love freehand. love as in makes me run screaming.

play 20 questions with a

February 25, 2003

play 20 questions with a computer.

very, very addictive.
i stumped it with 'vagina' - after 30 questions, it finally guessed 'womb'... close enough.

remember that whole moveabletype upgrade

February 24, 2003

remember that whole moveabletype upgrade thing?
i should have waited.

its sick when a parent

February 24, 2003

its sick when a parent fabricates an illness for their child to get attention. but to string along an entire community, to con them into donating over $10k, is unthinkable.

that poor girl.
i hope this woman gets the help she needs.


my birthday ballon set off

February 24, 2003

my birthday ballon set off the office security alarm over 30 times this past weekend.
buah ha ha ha ah.

i am way more excited

February 24, 2003

i am way more excited than i ought to be.

bleurgh. that is all.

February 23, 2003

that is all.

today was the five month

February 22, 2003

today was the five month anniversary.

it hit me really hard last night. i would have been content to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, and cry all night long. my brother and friend had to interupt to kidnap me away for a too-long night of laughter and hair dye (but none for me, thanks).

i dont want this to be a part of my life.
i dont want it to become a fact of my existance.
i dont want to wake up with her still gone.
i dont want to.

a full five hours of

February 22, 2003

a full five hours of this saturday was spent cleaning the old apartment. we check out friday night and will be rid of that apartment forever.

all thats left to do is shampoo the carpets and fix the nasty drill holes / nails stuck in one wall. a little putty and white paint and voila - good as slightly-used.

coolest product used: easy-off fume free oven cleaner. i didnt wheeze, gag, singe nose hairs, or burn my lungs even once. and it actually cleaned the oven. i cant imaging people buying anything else.

nastiest thing cleaned: the refigerator drip tray. havent heard of it? most people havent. look under your fridge, but be prepared for ultimate nastiness. it probably hasnt been cleaned since the thing was made. the smell - oh, the smell.

greatest feeling: i am satisfied that the place is cleaner than when we moved in.

to dani: did you know

February 21, 2003

to dani:
did you know that in a google search for your first and last name, i am #8?

we received a pamphlet in

February 21, 2003

we received a pamphlet in the mail today from a friend of one of our clients who recently died of a brain tumor.

from the graphic inside (pop-up), one can only make the following conclusions:

  • once resurrected, all children will be demon-possessed and dutch
  • also, your wife will be a plastic stewardess(but not in that naughty-fun way)
  • the best location for cemetaries are on the shores of a lake in the alps
  • all cemetaries are multi-ethnic and have an equal distribution of traditional japanese, africans, whiter-than-white people, and what looks like more dutch
  • people will try too hard to pretend to be happy
  • the budding flowers of spring and the yellowing leaves of fall will exist simultaneously, causing non-believers to instantly believe
  • resurrection will only occur in twos; it will be just as horrible as couples skate at the roller rink when youre single

horrifically discovered: i just walked

February 21, 2003

horrifically discovered:
i just walked from one end of the building to the other deep in thought while rubbing my belly affectionately.

any person to crack some baby remark will walk the gangplank.

i bought two pair of

February 21, 2003

i bought two pair of shoes last night and dont feel the least bit guilty - they were on sale and i was able to only go 48¢ over my birthday money from my mother in-law. so i owe two quarters to the laundry fund.

too bad its not sandals-sans-frostbite weather yet.

this morning i wore shoes (yes: even though they have a strap instead of a complete heel, i consider them good winter shoes; they do have toes, after all) and fleece pants for my 4 minute drive to work. once there, i changed into my sarong and new strapy sandal pumps.

youd think all the practice

February 21, 2003

youd think all the practice ive had with setting up greymatter and moveabletype, and all the time ive spent intimately with their templates that working with blogger would be a breeze.

no wonder so many blogger-bloggers use the available templates or dl them from other people.

why i love my husband

February 20, 2003

why i love my husband #176:

him: you look cuter there on the floor.
me: cuter than what?
him: i dont know.
him: cuter than at the old apartment, maybe.
him: it must be the new carpet here.
me: the new carpet makes me look cuter?
him: sure.

im not big into war

February 20, 2003

im not big into war movies, books, or stories. i find it the most boring genre that exists. i know enough about the history of the big wars with which the united states was involved to be comfortable about them. i dont need to see movie after movie or read book after book to find out all i can about them.

on of b's coworkers (a guy with whom we both went to high school) is a war movie fanatic. and he had to make sure b borrowed this dvd of his: band of brothers.

not only is this a war dvd, but it is 5 war dvds; each dvd has two episodes of an hour and a half. ten parts and 15 hours of world war 2 (i guess it was an HBO mini-series, so the length makes sense).

the shocking part is that i watched the entire thing with b (not all at once: that would be suicide). even more shocking is that i kind of liked it.

but im still not changing my mind on the war genre. its all really the same plot: the us blows up the bad guys and most of the time they win. feh.

heres something to add to

February 20, 2003

heres something to add to the list of gross things i can eat:

canned tomatoes: whole, stewed, and peeled.

one time a few years ago i ate about a half can of them; that afternoon and the next day my stomach was in revolt.

ever since then, i only have a bite or two before having to stop.

image > ascii converter

February 20, 2003

image > ascii converter:


what a blah day. not

February 19, 2003

what a blah day.
not even a meme to pose as content.

site magnetic poetry

February 19, 2003

a mirror of my site.

February 19, 2003

a mirror of my site.

with the recent move and

February 18, 2003

with the recent move and the fact that our PO box expires at the end of the month, im needing to cange our address with all sorts of people.

i feel like im missing someone.
am i?


i just converted to 2.62.

February 18, 2003

i just converted to 2.62.
it looks a bit different, so i dont think im going to upgrade my other mt-run site - i dont want to confuse my mother more than necessary.

like system of a down?

February 18, 2003

like system of a down?
like avril lavigne?

mixing the two would be... different (mp3).

teach yourself to talk understandably

February 18, 2003

teach yourself to talk understandably while your mouth is wide open. if you ever accidentally cut your lips off or misplace your lower jaw, this will come in quite handy.

find your inner child.

i dont watch much television:

February 18, 2003

i dont watch much television: maybe an hour a week. i guess that would be considered hardly any tv. it doesnt much interest me anymore, and i have many better, more interesting things to do.

but last night b hooked up the tv antenna in the new apartment. after making dinner, i was attached to the couch and wasnt going to get up for the appocalypse.

i finished my book within ten minutes, and was out of options. a movie would require getting up, as would a new book. so i turned on the tv.

im embarassed to say i watched a full hour of fear factor, a full hour of joe millionaire, and a half hour of some terribly un-funny black sitcom after that.

i need to never watch tv again.
else i need to stick with the the simpsons.

i saw daredevil this weekend

February 17, 2003

i saw daredevil this weekend with three die-hard comic fanatics and two other people.

a few thoughts:

1) why do elektra and bullseye get 'costumes' that can be found in any nightclub (granted, not in alaska...) and completely dont look all that planned out, when daredevil is all decked out with a mask an everything?

2) what is with ben affleck talking and smiling out of only that one side of his mouth. its creepy, man. stop it.

3) my sources say that elektra is supposed to be a trained assassin - and she wears red. and shes greek. with long black hair. maybe this character is her snooty bronx cousin?

4) whats up with the whole parents-die-and-child-lifts-weights-and-gets-some-chemical-accident-super-powers-and/or-lotsa-money-to-get-revenge theme in comics? its so overdone.

5) arent superheros supposed to have capes?

good thing i didnt upgrade

February 17, 2003

good thing i didnt upgrade to mt 2.6 like i was going to.
maybe ill wait a little longer, still.

most people have heard of

February 17, 2003

most people have heard of the Rorschach inkblot test, but few have ever seen a real Rorschach inkblot.

with the wonders of the internet, now you can.

it details the specifics of each blot: what would make a good or bad answer and what your answer says about you. and it points out the naughty bits of each blot. i only wish they were in color.

viewing the information on each blot would invalidate the test. so if youre planning on being tested any time soon, i wouldnt advise looking at the site.

i do have to say that the Rorschach inkblots are much harder than the game.

holy crap. google bought blogger.

February 17, 2003

holy crap.
google bought blogger.

i have this ominous big-brother feeling in my gut. how could he do that? we all know whats going to happen.

the little guy gives in the resource to the big guy.
the big guy stomps on the little guy and exploits the resource, twisting it for his own personal, illegal, dirty schemes.
big guy enjoys some diabolical laughter.

oh, wait. i use moveabletype.
go, google, go.

the supervisor has been on

February 17, 2003

the supervisor has been on vacation for a month. during that month, it was nice to not have to be at the building at 8am sharp. i was often 15-25 minutes late, and it felt good.

today is her first day back.
guess who was in the building at 7.55?
not her.

i rock.

heres hoping i get laid

February 14, 2003

heres hoping i get laid tonight.

poll re: love obsession should

February 14, 2003

poll re: love obsession
should i...

(a) spend the time to update the too-old layout to something new and better and css-esque but not identical to the blog layout?

(b) spend the time to update the too-old layout to something new and better and css-esque and identical to the blog layout such that when i change layouts here i must do it there as well?

(c) get rid of all the pictures except the one of us and the one of my cleaveage, thus making updating much much simpler?

(d) ditch the whole section?

if you want to prevent

February 14, 2003

if you want to prevent people from linking to your images and stealing your bandwidth while still allowing images to show properly on your website, make sure you update your .htaccess properly.

guess what improper code will result in?
thats right: images not working.

problem totally solved.

i am the master

February 14, 2003

i am so brilliant.  go ahead - ask me why.
i am the master evil genius

think your pc is useless?

February 14, 2003

think your pc is useless?
turn it into mac os 8.

a new moveabletype update has

February 14, 2003

a new moveabletype update has been released.
if there arent any wonderfully-romantic plans in the making, i know what im doing tonight.

sick valentines humor. just to

February 14, 2003

sick valentines humor.
just to show how much i care.

im sorry i dont do

February 13, 2003

im sorry i dont do everything right.
im sorry your pizza is a little too damn dark.
im sorry i cant forsee and deter every little thing that is going to piss you off.
im sorry the two jobs i work to pay for our two cars saps up a lot of my time and energy.
im sorry i dont feel like making home-made-whatever every single damn night.
im sorry i am personally offended and hurt when you get angry.
im sorry i cant keep you happy.
im sorry i get in your face and wont let you shut down your emotions.
im sorry you wont talk to me.
im sorry i wont let you ignore me.
im sorry youve been depressed for over a year.
im sorry i need affection every once in a while.
im sorry your life hasnt turned out better.
im sorry i cant focus on your needs 24 hours a day.
im sorry the dog barks,
im sorry i cant make you happy.


February 13, 2003

im a compulsive highlighter.

not the squeeky bright-yellow/orange/green on paper highlighting. i highlight whatever i happen to be reading on the computer. everything from text documents to web pages.

i dont highlight the exact words im reading. its more of a sporadic jerky highlighting of the text that happens to be under my cursor.

its contageous too - i passed it on to my sister first, then my husband, and one of my brothers. go ahead and try it - you might find yourself unable to stop.

that being said, whats up with purely-css-driven sites that wont let me highlight a few words and/or lines at my discression (like so and so) when other purely-css-driven sites (like me and her) let me highlight to my hearts content?

whats different with their css? i cant find much of a difference, and its bugging the heck out of me. i want to know how to prevent my page from becoming anti-highlighting.

i demand free highlighting for all!

does anybody have any experience

February 13, 2003

does anybody have any experience with doing a business's payroll taxes? experience with forms 941, w2, and w3?


February 13, 2003 collects referers and trackbacks from pages that link to or ping it.

kottke (who seems to understand it while im still pretending to understand) claims that all i have to do is link to any page there and it will link me. and i can make up pages.

im going to give it a go:


February 12, 2003

i took digital camera home from work last night.
lacey loved the flash.
i cant imagine living without this dog.

happy birthday, jason! (i totally

February 12, 2003

happy birthday, jason!
(i totally know im right this time)

some shopping errands + making

February 11, 2003

some shopping errands
+ making and eating lunch
+ a shower
= too much during one lunch hour
(simplified: late getting back to the empty office)

my left arm just above

February 11, 2003

my left arm just above the elbow is quasi-asleep.
this cant be good.

i really dont understand how

February 11, 2003

i really dont understand how this whole popdex thing works.

i search for citations of my site and get a nice listing of... what? people who have linked to me?

thats what it looks like, anyway. i know that three of the sites listed actually have linked to me at one point or another. but those other sites that i havent heard of... when i go snooping around i dont find any indication of their linkage of me.

is popdex toying with me? i could be this popular if i really tried? are people linking and then unlinking me with lightning fast speed? is it really important enough to dedicate an entire post on?

probably not.

i think the office is

February 11, 2003

i think the office is still closed today.
again im the only one here.

curses for living so close to the office.

(if i counted the days

February 11, 2003

(if i counted the days right)
happy birthday, jason!

i counted wrong. its tomorrow.

have you seen that new

February 10, 2003

have you seen that new levis ad that makes you want to spew chunks?

before you do (because i know you reaaally want to), read the summary by faboo dooce.

some monday positives about the

February 10, 2003

some monday positives about the new apartment:

- a light switch that connects to the outlet to which the uplamp is plugged
- ten, count em: ten, kitchen drawers
- a full size oven
- three opening windows
- warm showers
- a living room that fits our couch
- a long hallway for my dog to chase toys
- ten kitchen drawers
- new carpet
- all the extra square footage
- a switch to control the outside outlet
- a breakfast bar the size of my dorm room
- ten drawers for kitchen-type stuff

its 10 and im the

February 10, 2003

its 10 and im the only one here.
i dont think i was supposed to come in.

i mean, the boss called and gave me the option to stay home because of the ice rinks that resemble roads out there. so i could have stayed home. i just didnt know that the office would be closed.

i feel like running naked through peoples offices.

who wants to help me

February 10, 2003

who wants to help me rent liechtenstein?
im taking a collection.


hoobastank rocks my socks. i

February 8, 2003

hoobastank rocks my socks.

i found it in melissas huge cd case while i was in homer. man, i forgot what a wide range of tunes she had. hoobastank was one of her cds with whom, though previously i had not heard of them, i have fallen in love.

i helped my mom sort her cds falling into three categorys:
1. junk-i-wouldnt-want-anyone-else-to-listen-to
2. crap-mom-probably-will-listen-to-but-no-one-else-will-touch
3. i-want

the largest pile was category 1. the smallest pile was category 2. i kept category three in her case; i ended up with over 60 cds.

a lot of them are groups that i loved and adored, but when i moved away to college she had the sole rights to them. most of them are groups i suggested to her - ones i had downloaded the mp3s but never bought the cds. and there are a few gems that i would have never listened to... like hoobastank.

go get something of theirs right now.

the roads are a very

February 8, 2003

the roads are a very interesting ice skating rink. if only i or my car had ice skates. im not leaving my apartment unless absolutely necessary.

like if aliens decided to invade and the worlds only hope of salvation is for me to drive to the nearest gas station in search of the one and only flavor of ice cream that will go with a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant.

then it would be necessary.

almost slipped my mind: happy

February 7, 2003

almost slipped my mind: happy birthday, dani!

i and some friends are

February 7, 2003

i and some friends are headed to davids house tonight for some rockin music and worship. if youre in the area, you had better go.

from a stock images catalog:

February 7, 2003

from a stock images catalog:

when does mens lifesyle include breast feeding?

is it geeky or sexy

February 7, 2003

is it geeky or sexy that i got 5/5 on the photoshopped famous paintings quiz?


strangely hipnotic and addictive: yellowtail

February 6, 2003

strangely hipnotic and addictive: yellowtail is 'an interactive software... creation and performance of real-time abstract animation.'


i am a corpulent midget

February 6, 2003

i am a corpulent midget who likes to lick feet.
what are you?


my ten pound dog ate

February 6, 2003

my ten pound dog ate my entire dinner last night: a foot long turkey subway sandwich not much smaller than she is.

i had to induce vomiting (good old H2O2) - only then did i feel really sorry for her. full body whorking experiences are quite painful.

i made the mistake of leaving it on the stairs while we left the dogs alone at my brothers house. when we got home an hour and a half later, the entire thing was gone.

except the cucumbers. shes so picky.

a small group of us

February 5, 2003

a small group of us came to the conclusion that "heiyachow" (phonetic: hi-yah-cha) is much more versatile than for just sound effects.

it can be used as a:
- verb ('dont make me heiyachow yo ass')
- adjective ('that was an awesome heiyachow kick')
- noun ('i practice the art of heiyachow; i am a heiyachow master')

an adverb, however, it cannot be.

five things i cannot resist:pretty

February 5, 2003

five things i cannot resist:

  • pretty undies on sale
  • a kiss from b
  • home made ice cream
  • my dogs love
  • free food

what do you find irresistable?

potshot a day

February 5, 2003

in high school, b would often cut appropriate potshots out of the anchorage newspaper in order to woo me. they were cute, and a few did make me say 'aww' in that sickeningly-sweet-teen-girlfriend way.

he collected them for a while, taped them all together, and made a huge wall covering of them. i think his mom then threw them away.

the artist, ashleigh brilliant, has a great site where you can get a potshot a day or even order a book full of em.


for a mere $20, you

February 5, 2003

for a mere $20, you too can rent chris pirillo's chest.
what a stud.

so last night after going

February 5, 2003

so last night after going to my brothers to discuss the crappage of our family, b and i decided to finally level out the waterbed so that we might sleep on it that night.

for those without waterbed experience, this requires: attaching a hose to an overfilled mattress, starting a siphon into a sink/tub, and both of us lying on the bed until the level is perfect for the both of us.

all these steps we did fine. we got up; b went into the hallway to stop the siphon and the carpet was squishy.

we flooded our kitchen and hallway. turns out not only was there a sink plug on the counter, there was another one in one of the sink drains.

we sopped up as much as we could with soggy towels, then used my brothers new steam cleaner to grab two more gallons.

moral: make sure the water has someplace to go other than the floor. like a drain. that would be nice.

oh - congrats to steveo

February 4, 2003

oh - congrats to steveo for posting the 400th comment.
youll get whats coming to you.
buah ha ha ha.

i got back in fairbanks

February 4, 2003

i got back in fairbanks last night and am back at work today.

stress levels in homer out of a 10, while usually a 15, were actually more like a 6. it was pretty nice.

who missed me? anyone? anyone? bueller?

UPDATE: im gonna say stress levels really were a 15 out of a possible 10. only we didnt know it until this morning.

most of the time we were there, a lid was kept on all the crap. as soon as we left, the crap hit the fan. fuck.

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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