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May 2003 Archives

we discovered a gravel-pit-turned-lake five

May 31, 2003

we discovered a gravel-pit-turned-lake five minutes from my apartment that is apparently dedicated to fully-cothed males, bikini-clad females, and oodles of jet skis.

today we took the dogs and some towels there to wade and perhaps swim. swimming was out of the question due to the incredible muckity-muck that tried to invade ever crevice possible.

the dog had never seen water in any setting other than [i] the water dish, [ii] the bathtub, or [iii] small puddles. she decided swimming was no fun even though i tried convincing her otherwise.

and when i say convincing, i mean dragging her in by her leash.
she didnt really enjoy that part.

inspired by damon, i present:

May 30, 2003

inspired by damon, i present:
drowning in a vat of rancid watermelon pulp

thank you.

dont say i didnt warn

May 30, 2003

dont say i didnt warn you.
at least i feel a little better.


May 30, 2003

money cannot buy a dog deciding your breasts make the perfect ledge on which to sleep or the ability to be entertained by various sized stiky notes.

this or that

May 30, 2003

this or that

silence or do you like background sound?
background sound, definitely. white noise at the very least.

bathe/shower in morning or evening?
morning if i wake up in time.

sleeping in complete darkness, or with a nightlight on?
complete darkness. i used to be slightly obsessive-compulsive about it, too. my room at my parents house was in the basement with three inside walls and one completely under ground. the only light that came in was from the crack under the door (which i covered with a pillow). then the light on my stereo really bugged me - it was the light to show there was power to the machine and so was on whenever it was plugged in. unplug it and i lost all my radio settings. bugger. i ended up putting three layers of duct tape over it. so... slightly obsessive.

lay out clothes the night before, or just grab what's closest in the morning?
lay it out? hahaha! oh, youre serious? people do this? interesting.

hang up/fold clothes neatly, or just toss them wherever?
toss in one pile untili get around to folding them - probably the next day.

ork out at a gym, or at home on your own (or do you not bother with exercise)?
light excercise at home and at the park with the dog.

talk on the phone, or via im/e-mail?

are you usually on time, or late?
on time.

spendthrift or frugal?
frugal frugal frugal.

one word: stamp i tried

May 30, 2003

one word: stamp

i tried collecting stamps once when i had a new zeland pen pal. she sent me 10 of them once just because. i kept them and had grand plans of getting pen pals all over the world and convincing them to send me stamps. that never happened.

monday mission

May 30, 2003

a bit from the monday mission.

whats the worst thing about mondays?
waking up.

do you believe in soul mates? have you met yours yet?
i dont believe in them, no. but if i did, i would probably say that i married mine.

what do you recall wanting to "be" when you were a child?
i wanted to be a doctor with my own practice in homer. married with lots of children: six or so. i thought about the kids more so than the husband. i still kinda want to be a doctor, even though i know it will never happen, but there is no way i will ever be dragged back to living in homer. and i still want kids, just not 6 of them.

a spam-header suggestion from the

May 30, 2003

a spam-header suggestion from the tuesday too

�Improve your health today� - �a small d i c k is not a curse.� �It's your special friend.� "Don�t worry": �It will be our secret.�

thursday threesome

May 30, 2003

thursday threesome.

is there any one slang word that you find more annoying than others?
theyre all pretty annoying when used constantly, but otherwise im fine with them.

when you blog, do you worry about grammar, punctuation and spelling?
i try to pay attention to grammar and such, but i dont freak out if i later notice ive misspelled something. i may correct it, i may not. and though i dont fret about missing apostrophes from conjunctions, i will often pause to consider if a colon or a semi-colon would be more appropriate; i take pride in my semi-colon use.

what's one commonly mispronounced word that just drives you nuts?
depth, width, and heighth. b says it all the time. heighth heighth heighth. one by a coworker is 'strenth' without the 'g'.

weekly wrap-up

May 30, 2003

friday five sucks donkey dick. so.
weekly wrap-up.

do you like summer?
i love it in that its not winter and i can wear my sandals. i love that the water is warm and i wont get frostbitten for swimming in the ocean. i hate it in that im allergic to the sun and my skin is mostly red, swollen, and peeling. i wish it didnt get so hot here in the summers.

what is your favorite summer activity?
recently its been gardening. how very domestic. but i also like running through sprinklers, putt mini putt golf, croquet, and getting blistery-sunburnt.

what is your favorite summer destination?
the beach in homer. good memories of melissa. no better place to go swimming.

what are your summer plans for 2003?
grow my plants. take the dog to the park and chase her chasing her freedom. get sunburnt.

would you be in favor of rotating long breaks for school-aged kids so that there aren't as many out at the same time during summer?
well i rightly dont care right now. if i had kids, i would want them to all have their break at the same time. but i dont have kids. so there.

you know.... his fahza.

May 30, 2003

you know.... his fahza.

i swear, if i dont

May 29, 2003

i swear, if i dont find something to post soon then tomorrow i am going to do every meme i can get my mouse on.

a link, a phrase, a

May 28, 2003

a link, a phrase, a picture.
i double-dog-dare you to inspire me

more cervical ripening discussion

May 27, 2003

Miss Shigatsu: so what's with cervical whatever?
rhapsodie: my friend had labor induced this weekend


colorful world

May 27, 2003

this one is dedicated to [a] the lacking yummy-lovely-linkness on this here site, [b] my growing forgetfullness, and [c] color-challenged designers ehhverywhere...

  • visibone's colorlab: compare the 216 web-safe colors with each other and find out that you really shouldnt put cccc00 text on 99cc99. unless youre into that sort of thing. it displays hex codes, rgb values, cmyk values, and html names for each color.

  • webwhirlers: some color theory and nifty gadgets. the color wizard takes any inputted hex value and gives the color's complimentary, tints, saturation options, and many others. there is also a color wheel that will randomly display three web-safe colors.

  • colormix: a fun dithering tool.

  • quickcolor: there are a few tools like this online that let you move sliders back and forth to get a nice color and four (or so) complimentary colors. but unlike others ive seen, this one lets you input rgb values for your initial color. that extra feature makes this more useful than the color pallet in photoshop.

  • easyRGB: this is my current favorite and most used resource with tons of coolness. there are tools to help match rgb/hex values to pantone print colors, a tool to create color complimentaries, harmonies, and themes, as well as a few other monitor-to-print tools.

you know you have hit

May 27, 2003

you know you have hit an all-time low when your $9.50 lunch is so unfilling that you turn to two and a half packets of powdered hot cocoa for sustenance.

what i didnt plan on:

May 27, 2003

what i didnt plan on:

wind, and lots of it
sunburn (though it was expected)
the very sexy, the very toight: austin powers' fashah
cuddling in a hammock
brownies from scratch
croquet mallet vs. foot

phrase of the weekend: cervical

May 26, 2003

phrase of the weekend: cervical ripening

i plan on sleeping in

May 23, 2003

i plan on sleeping in until at least 10.
i plan on a big bbq monday evening.
i plan on fist fighting old ladies for flowers at home depot.
i plan on full-contact croquet.
i plan on sunshine.
i plan on getting flowers, herbs, and veggies all planted in my newly-filled flowerbeds.
i plan on taking long walks with the dog and possibly the hubby.
i plan on whining about going back to work tuesday.

yay for three day weekends.

the 22nd of any month

May 23, 2003

the 22nd of any month is still hard.

last night i tossed some flowers and petals over a bridge into the chena river. i then bought a softball and tossed it at a fence for about a half hour.

it helped me realize one thing: melissa was an awesome softball pitcher and i completely suck. i couldnt even keep the ball off the ground before crossing home plate. someone should remind me of that pathetic show of sports-challenged next time i pick up any sort of ball.

from the most unlikely source,

May 22, 2003

from the most unlikely source, i just got affirmation on a powerpoint presentation i pulled teeth to create back in september.

it has left me feeling confused in that warm-fuzzy kind of way.

after hearing so many bad

May 22, 2003

after hearing so many bad things about matrix reloaded, i had lowered my expectations going into the theatre last night. but all in all, i think it turned out to be pretty good.

surprisingly, an article at corpoate mofo (spoiler warning, even though everyone and my mother has already seen the movie) made some obvious and not-so-obvious religious parallells that helped me understand some more of the plot.

i would say it was worth the $13 i paid for ticket coupons for both b and i. but maybe not worth the full bladder i endured for the last hour and a half of the movie. next time im going to get to the restroom and pee.

ive been through the desert

May 21, 2003

ive been through the desert on a horse with no name.

today is full of random

May 21, 2003

today is full of random goodness.

strangebanana has a css generator that looks slightly acceptable every so often. but it sure is fun to reload.

n_gen design machine automatically creates graphic design from some inputted text. it is fun to play with and neat to see many different examples of trendy design for the same content.

these things should be used as learning tools, not as something to be directly copied and passed off as your own work. though the minimal time spent in 'creating' the layouts is tempting, at least the css generated layouts are butt-ugly. and the text positioning with the n_gen deign machine leaves a lot to be desired.

its the little things that show that design is best with some personal human touch.

[via a.wholelottanothing and ernies mini-blog, respectively]

now you too can make

May 20, 2003

now you too can make any site look like it belongs to a pre-teen.

there is a new chaplain

May 20, 2003

there is a new chaplain on the airforce base in town who changed his last name when he moved to the unted states from india.

he is now Mr. George. George George.
and that just makes me giggle.

the last layout was up

May 20, 2003

the last layout was up for almost 2 months. i didnt realize it had been quite that long.

so. you know. its a dragonfly.

i used to have a

May 20, 2003

i used to have a full set of rainbow brite twin sheets. i would count the stars to help me fall asleep.

and there is nothing wrong with wanting a set to fit my waterbed, okay?

i havent been depressed in

May 20, 2003

i havent been depressed in weeks.
and thats something i havent been able to say since before melissa died.

its great to have the energy to do laundry. or dishes. or drive to the store. or take the dog out to pee. tonight i did all those, and more.

it feels great to do, to be, to live.

ive known for quite some time that i have survived her death. the incident, the moment, is in the past. and i survived.

what i havent known, is how i was going to survive every day life without her. her death is in the past, but her absence is in the present as well as the future.

it now appears i am going to survive the present and future without her. and that seems neither right nor fair. she deserves more than 8 months of mourning and grief.

i want the tears to still flow freely.
i want to not enjoy life because she no longer has one to enjoy.
i want the pain to still be fresh.

most of all, i want my sister back.

remember that hot green-striped-shirt steve

May 19, 2003

remember that hot green-striped-shirt steve guy from blues clues?

steve-o just told me that he just finished his album and has it available for listening on his site.

i hope he included some of that hot skipping action we all adored.

amazing how being pawed on

May 19, 2003

amazing how being pawed on by some greasy old guys greasy gaze can actually improve ones day.

my stack of bright pink

May 19, 2003

my stack of bright pink sticky notes smells like warm vomit.

how to get dirt for

May 17, 2003

how to get dirt for your flower boxes in thirty steps
by valette

  • pull out from the storage shed the wooden boxes made by husbands strong and smooth hands: 5 minutes

  • set boxes in front of apartment window: 2 minutes

  • wonder if landlords might disapprove of their immense size: 15 seconds

  • disregard concern of landlords: 2 seconds

  • situate (by which i mean wiggle) until they are semi level and sitting as close to the ground as possible: 5 minutes

  • expound upon husbands wonderful carpentry skills: 10 minutes

  • find measuring tape: 5 minutes

  • measure height, width, depth in inches: 2 minutes

  • convert measurements to yards and multiply, thereby finding the cubic yardage of dirt required, with calculator: 30 seconds

  • sleep: 7(ish) hours

  • call different outdoors-y type stores, greenhouses, and dirt pits to price dirt: 10 minutes

  • pick up brother and drive to home depot: 5 minutes

  • find employee to explain why price quoted on phone is different than the one posted, only to not get an answer: 10 minutes

  • do last minute cubic-yard-to-cubic-feet conversion in head: 30 seconds

  • check out and get dirt home: 20 minutes

  • realize last minute conversion in head was completely and utterly wrong: 4 hours

  • recalculate: 30 seconds

  • sleep: 9 hours

  • back to home depot for two more bags of dirt: 30 minutes

  • realize second calculation was completely and utterly wrong: 30 minutes

  • figure out freaky engineer calculator: 7 minutes

  • recalculate: 30 seconds

  • realize third calculation was mucked up again: 45 minutes

  • pull hair out and feel stupidstupidstupid with math: 40 minutes

  • renounce ever loving math: 10 minutes

  • wonder how they let you get through third level calculus: 5 minutes

  • proclaim that impractical math is the only kind that makes sense: 3 minutes

  • say 'screw it,' borrow brothers truck and get dirt from dirt pit: 30 min

  • fill boxes: 15 minutes

  • return bags of dirt to home depot: 15 minutes

total elapsed time: 3 days
total hair pulled from head: 15 handfuls

with steve and his crew

May 16, 2003

with steve and his crew headed to homer this weekend for a clam bake, im feeling the desire to go see home.

i want to see the spit and the harbor.

i want to scare tourists by swimming in the ocean. i want to sit on my parents lawn watching fireworks and being bit by mosquetoes. i want to smell the saltwater.

these are wonderful images. and every wonderful image of homer is superimposed with the evil images of my horrendous family. gah.

if i could just drive south, eat at the glacier drive-in, swim in the ocean, sit on top of the hill, makeout with b at the lookout, and then drive back north, it would be a great trip.

april redesigned with a spankin

May 16, 2003

april redesigned with a spankin three-column layout.

so this switching back and

May 16, 2003

so this switching back and forth between bein 'rhapsodie' and bein 'Valette' is just messing with my head.

she cant take much more, capt'n crunch.

so im going to try to start commenting elsewhere as Valette.

or maybe 'the incredibly rhapsodic Valette'. which sounds so drrrty.

there should be more dancing

May 16, 2003

there should be more dancing fools out there.
who knows: you might be next.

(the man-boobs and butt crack may be nsfw. im glad the movie was stopped when it did.)

tonight is going to be

May 16, 2003

tonight is going to be an all-out rock-paper-scissors-spock-lizard tournament.
i am gonna kick butt.

the spring cleaning fairys visited

May 15, 2003

the spring cleaning fairys visited tonight.
they called me a lazy bum and gave me a rag.
now the cars, bathroom, and my body are all squeeky clean.

also: bio dome in french isnt as amusing as one might expect.

new purse, new bras -

May 15, 2003

new purse, new bras - all on sale, and all replacing the old, the saggy, and the broken.

with the money saved from the sales, i bought a french bikini and two thongs. i knew what i was doing when i stopped at gottschalks after my errands were done.

i love not having to eat on my lunch hour.

poppyseed salad dressing is way

May 15, 2003

poppyseed salad dressing is way overrated.

it really should be friday.

May 14, 2003

it really should be friday.

The average human makes use

May 14, 2003
The average human makes use of no more than 15% of its potential for having orgasms.

today, do something that makes you come. and be a better person for it.

thats my kind of assignment.

the starwars kid has been

May 14, 2003

the starwars kid has been found and interviewed.

he doesnt even sound embarassed. im disapointed.

there. i did it. i

May 14, 2003

there. i did it.
i signed up for the mefi swap.
i had better make my playlist now while im still excited about it.

interconnection is a service that

May 14, 2003

interconnection is a service that matches up volunteer web designers with non-profit organizations.

similarly, helps connect volunteer professionals (designers, administrative professionals, grant-writers, etc.) with non-profits.

how cool is that? what an awesome resource for non-profits who rely heavily on volunteers. not to mention its a great way for volunteers to pad a resume and help impact lives.

im compelled to sign up, but then that little voice reminds me of all the volunteer things im in the process of doing, and how my husband and dog should get a slice of my time as well.

im still not ruling it out.


joining the likes of

May 14, 2003

joining the likes of and comes a new real-time weblog update page: blogchatter.

it uses an XML-RPC pinging system, and there are some instructions on how to ping it with movabletype.


you can give your name

May 13, 2003

you can give your name to nasa and they will send it to a comet as they blow it up.

im sending a little bit of advertising to the little green people in the sky.

with the whole planet-x-smashing-into-earth thing

May 13, 2003

with the whole planet-x-smashing-into-earth thing happening in a few days, its time to take a few moments and think about what we will be missing about this lovely planet once its obliterated, like steve tells us to do.

i will miss:

  • the smell of yeast bubbling in warm water

  • mint choco chip ice cream

  • sex
    i know other planets will have the basic concept of sex, but slimey stamens dont really do it for me

  • watching my dog walk into bookshelves while doped up on tranquilizers

  • the thrill of buying g-strings
    though im not opposed to going commando, if my new overlords require it

  • sesame street

  • watching b put on lipstick

  • the bohemian rhapsody

what will you miss?

yay for value village and

May 13, 2003

yay for value village and skookum new jeans.

Run for it before Monday

May 12, 2003

Run for it before Monday gets you too!
from boring3D.


after two shampoos, my hair

May 12, 2003

after two shampoos, my hair still faintly smells like brut.

oh, and go send anna a happy birthday.

i always try to remember

May 11, 2003

i always try to remember to sniff any new shampoo and conditioner i buy. this time my nose failed me.

and now my hair smells like brut aftershave.
which is not an attractive smell on a gal.
actually, nor is it attractive on a guy.

in fact, it reminds me of my father and how he practically bathes in brut aftershave. which is never a good thing.

maybe if my hair werent so close to my nose it wouldnt be too bad. but as it is, i am scared to undo my braids.

things have shaped up to

May 11, 2003

things have shaped up to be one betty crocker of a weekend.

the combination of my mixer and a few bread books i got when i was in anchorage is quite a nice one.

i must remember to call my mom and b's mom today.


May 9, 2003

a meme. blah. the weekly wrap-up.


kudos to blogjam for getting

May 9, 2003

kudos to blogjam for getting this rabbit song stuck in my head.

he'll give you a nickel

May 9, 2003

he'll give you a nickel if you tickle his pickle.

Malkovich. [via]

May 8, 2003



my afternoon has a mantra:

May 8, 2003

my afternoon has a mantra:

fuck you, you fucking fuck. fuck you, you fucking fuck. fuck you, you fucking fuck.

i didnt used to hate laying out the newsletter at work.
until, that is, someone literally took scissors and tape to an entire weeks worth of my time.

everybody repeat after me...

he wouldnt even make me

May 7, 2003

he wouldnt even make me pancakes.
wouldnt even make me pancakes.

for shame.

spring cleaning

May 7, 2003

i did some spring cleaning on the domain and managed to free up a whopping 4 megs of space, bringing the grand total to 76mb.

i need to start using the other domain i own for space considerations.

they just changed the automated

May 7, 2003

they just changed the automated instructions for my phone card - new voice, new instructions, no ads. freaked me out.

make me a match

May 7, 2003

everyone should make themselves insane today by playing this matchmaker game by mark pilgrim.

go on - it will be fun.
i promise.
trust me.

my grandfather has the largest

May 6, 2003

my grandfather has the largest nose in the world. its saggy, gigantuan, and kinda bumpy.

when he sneezes i fear for the lives of small children.

its nice to know i have a great legacy to *ahem* grow into.

this post brought to you by the color red

x-men 2 roxxored my soxxors.

May 5, 2003

x-men 2 roxxored my soxxors.

my only beef is that plot turns and events were so easy to spot two or three scenes beforehand. i think the director spent so much time focusing on the action (which shows - the action was awesome) that he forgot to pay attention to the plot much.

it was helpful to see the movie with two comic book geeks - they were able to point out little things that i otherwise wouldnt have known. but i think i would have been fine without them.

at least i was the one who wasnt confused to see the senator from the first movie walk on screen.

and alan cumming has the most goregeous eyes. if i made out with him (which i totally would if i werent, you know, married), i would make him stare at me just so i could see them.

a few years ago, a

May 5, 2003

a few years ago, a doctor at the wonderful university of alaska discovered a bird with a nearly half meter long penis.

im proud that i attended there for a few years, and can most definitely see any number of professors there doing this kind of research.

tip of the hat to peter for the link.

if your back has been

May 5, 2003

if your back has been hurting horrible-bad for around 4 days such that it causes near-migraine headaches and nausea, if your back feals as though it is "breaking in half" (your words) when you get out of bed, wouldnt your mind focus on (i) pain medication and then (ii) making a chiropractor appintment for as soon as you could get in instead of hopping onto an online computer game?

yeah, that would be my inclination as well. but apparently not everybody feels the same.

tis the week of sevens.

May 5, 2003

tis the week of sevens.
sins and dwarfs, specifically.
sleepy and envy for today.

4 for all

May 4, 2003

discovered on the drive back north:

  • i didnt realize so many people find that yellow dotted line oh-so-huggable.
  • our escort has a governor preventing the car from topping 105 no matter how hard you or your husband try.
  • my brother got a speeding ticket. bs ticket was 15 miles over the limit, mine 16, and damons at 17.
    4 points for ehhh-verybody.
  • about five miles south of nenana i get the insatiable urge to sing sunday school songs at the top of my lungs. its happened at least the last three trips south, and i dont think they make pills for that.
  • its completely worth driving 6 hours one way to see stomp live.

the drive down was uneventful,

May 3, 2003

the drive down was uneventful, save for the speeding ticket b got a half hour of of fairbanks, b lying in the back seat three seconds from whorking his entire collection of internal organs, and the speeding ticket i got just outside of wasilla.


so far today we had fresh mochas and lattes made by my brother, bought $70 worth at borders bookstore, had lunch, got the car washed for near nothing, bought the largest monitor we could find, jumped on the trampoline with the neices, played with kitties that will make me sneeze in about ten seconds, and got a sunburn.

incidentally, how many places do you have to go, in this the largest city in alaska (ooh and ahh respectfully), to find a monitor larger than 19"? someone find out and let me know, because we couldnt.

and im so looking forward to the concert tonight.

the dishes got washed. the

May 2, 2003

the dishes got washed.
the laundry got done and folded.
the car got emptied of trash.
the dog got her haircut.
the brother got called.
the place to stay got procured.
the bags got packed
the husband got a headache.
the wife got off work early.
the tickets got bought.

anchorage, here we come!

as breakup happened a week

May 2, 2003

as breakup happened a week or so ago, it is now officially summer round these parts. and that means the door to the office is perpetually open.

...makes seeing my monitor nearly impossible at times.
... sends a cooling breeze direcly to my desk.
... sends a cooling breeze direcly to my desk.
... lets me see if someone is about to come inside, giving me enough time to turn down the music and minimize any un-work-related computer activities before they open the screen door.

yay for sunshine.

almost commando

May 2, 2003

i have to be braless to cut my dogs hair.
not topless: braless.

topless is a really bad idea, considering her affinity to bite and scratch while the grooming takes place.
but that was before the Wonderful World of Tranquilizers.
i could probably be in the buff while grooming her now.
not that i will.

but whether she is doped up or not, i do need to remember to take off my bra. last night is one of the few times i remembered, and i am happy for it.

its not for some kinky reason - i dont get off on either my dog or cutting her hair.

its because of the fabric. the material of which its made.
the bra isnt padded, but the fabric is quite thick - thick enough that the entire world wont know how cold i think the room is. thick enough that the bra will stand upright on its own.

because of its thickness, laceys hairs like to embed themselves into my bras fabric. to slightly poke through the back side. making my breasts itch to high heaven.

the only way i have found to get these hairs out is with tweezers.

washing wont work. neither will a lint brush. or tape. or telekinesis.
ive tried them all, and i always resort to a pair of tweasers and a really good light.

i need to tape a sign to her grooming implements:

let them free from their bondage, lest they withstand the torture of the tweezers.


Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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