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June 2003 Archives

im afraid that im not

June 30, 2003

im afraid that im not sure of
a love there is no cure for

sunday events were governed by

June 30, 2003

sunday events were governed by one and only one criterion: which buildings had air conditioning.

this is alaska. -50°F we can handle.
87°F we cannot.

what a sadistic bastard. im

June 27, 2003

what a sadistic bastard.
im jealous i never thought of it.
and surprised none of my siblings did, either.


you can do it

June 27, 2003

your assignment for the weekend:

ask a stranger (preferably a senior citizen) the color of their unmentionables.
DO NOT GIGGLE (until out of their eye/earshot).
report back here on monday.

now go.

my cd-rw at work went

June 27, 2003

my cd-rw at work went into nervous-breakdown-mode and then died. it was awful to witness. all that commotion and ruccus and then - nothing. no sound, no movement, no little lights.

its extremely sad.
especially since its my primary burner for all things work and personal. and i was right in the middle of burning those mix cds.

so im taking it back to the shop that built the box for us exactly one year and five days prior to the breakdown. heh.

the parts warrenty is still good, but the labor warranty was only for one year. which means we will be charged for them to turn on my machine, see that the cd-rw really is broken, mess around with the drivers, open up the box and make sure everythings still plugged in and in good condition.

which i already did. i wouldnt have sent a box anywhere before doing everything short of a jump-start.

after all is said and done, it would probably be cheaper to buy our own cd-rw and have me install it. not to mention much, much quicker.

oh well - at least i get to leave the office early.


June 26, 2003


mostly because im now using

June 25, 2003

mostly because im now using a tabbed browser for the majority of my online experience, but slightly for usability purposes, links on the site should no longer open in a new browser window.

lacey pictures

June 25, 2003

if you are going to

June 24, 2003

if you are going to continue to not ask me (the office IT department) about problems with your computer, and if you are going to continue to curse at your box, and if you are going to continue to bug everyone else about its crashes,

then - guess what!?
i am going to continue to not offer to help.

to whom it may concern:

June 24, 2003

to whom it may concern:

with The Great Flip-Flop Search of '03, i believe i have found the winning pair at your online store. product descriptionhowever, there is a slight usability issue with their product description pages in how they list what sizes are available. when i first glanced at the area on the right, i read it this way:

we only have these sizes available: men's 4, women's 6, and men's 12.

which, though an odd assortment of sizes to carry, i figured was due to it being summer and no one else carries flip-flops; it isnt too unlikely that you would be mostly sold out.

only after looking at two other product descriptions and seeing the same phraseology did i click on the drop-down menu and realize what was meant.

there are waaaaay too many hyphens in there. what i would suggest is to list the available sizes as: 4 men's / 6 women's to 12 men's.

or how about: women's 6-11; men's 4-12.

(aside: why not list a women's size that is comparable to a men's 12? because women usually dont have such neanderthalian feet sizes? when is the last time you have seen a man wearing a size 4?)

if i had only seen that one description page, i wouldnt have bought a thing: the way i saw it, you were out of my size. i would have closed my browser window and not gone any further into your site.

thank you for your time,
a flip-flop-less alaskan

ps: you could have told me you didnt have diddly-squat in my size before i went through all the effort to decide these were the ones. this is way more difficult than it needs to be. i hate your sandals. and your commercials make me want to gouge out my eyes.

when you call up a

June 24, 2003

when you call up a place of business, do everybody a favor and identify yourself. tell the receptionist, 'This is Jane Doe and I'm with Some Agency. Is Person available?'

if you refuse to identify yourself, do not get all snippy when the receptionist asks more questions. if you still refuse to provide any crumb of information about yourself, you have no right to get offended when the receptionist refuses to let you speak to the person you have requested.

if your existance is such a darn mysterious secret, try using a comm chip implanted in your spine and stop wasting my time.

i cannot believe that i

June 23, 2003

i cannot believe that i am going to have to resort to buying flip-flops online. no store in this tundra-ridden town carries any flimsy, non-platform, thong sandals. i am disgusted.

sandals are my lifeblood. my soul. the reason to live. the reason ive had near-frostbitten tootsies. i cannot live without flip-flops.

so. black solid, or beach-towel striped blue? purple?

where would you buy flip-flops?

of books and oprah

June 23, 2003

im embarrassed to admit (though that has never stopped me before) that i have been inexplicably drawn to the oprah's book club section of my local used bookstore.

i think its partly a desire for a beach book - summer reading requiring little brain activity - and partly a need to branch out from my two or three faithful fall-back authors. that need started a few months back when i vowed to not read another stephen king book before getting my hands on something more substantial.

enter beth.

beth hands me a huge shopping bag full of every book she has that could be pushed into the 'literature' section. and i ate it up. i read books on men turning to donkeys, men turning into women, mambo kings, puppies named widdle and puke, and even the likes of horrific monsters. interspersed were a few stephen kings, but i hardly felt/feel guilty.

after i handed back the bag-o-books, i realized that the contrasting genres, tones, and styles was quite nice. since i was now free of that one-genre-rut, i needed another path to take; but beth was out of town. i stood staring at the wall of the used bookstore labeled 'literature'. how will i know what to pick?

thats when it happened. i stumbled across the small cart in one corner with her books. my first one was okay in that sappy woman-must-be-strong-enough-to-leave-husband kind of way. my second selection was so amazing im not even going to sell it back.

ive now read a total of four books from that small rack. ill most likely get more.

ill still be getting the newest king novel (once it hits the used shelves or the library, that is), but my options are much larger now. and im braver in my selections - no more will i worry about whether i will like the book or not. if i dont, i can always stop reading and pick up another.

i may even look for a few books on the npr's summer reading list; i would challenge you to branch out of your reading comfort zones and get something new.

[npr link via jr]

right now i want to

June 23, 2003

right now i want to be creative with color and shapes and stuff. but im not up for installing photoshop, and we dont have any crayons. ill have to settle for markers.
wont i ever fall asleep?

golly gee. there sure is

June 23, 2003

golly gee.
there sure is nothing like a depressive, lonely, insomniatic night filled with tears and an itching inner ear.
this really must be the life.

these arent your childhood barbies.

June 22, 2003

these arent your childhood barbies.

though they do look similar to a few one of my second grade friends had. there were more than a few barbie orgies happening late at night during sleepovers.


my blogging started two years

June 20, 2003

my blogging started two years ago today with a bit of insomnia and and a disturbing flash cartoon involving a cow and a farmer's nipples.

i was hosting my site - them composed of a few hundred fonts and a few wedding pages - at f2s. back when they were still free.

like stories ive heard many times since, i needed some sort of content for my main page. i had links to my fonts and wedding pages, plus a few others, but that was pretty pathetic for a main page. long before hearing the term blog, i kept a journal with cool links; but i would only write something if i had a link to post.

in the past two years ive grown in my writing skills, my design skills, and my coding skills. ive had nasty hosts and have met beautiful people. i wouldnt have wanted it any other way.

last chance

June 20, 2003

ive already gotten a few suckers takers for the cd im assembling here soon. today (and ill be pretty flexible) is your last day to request one if you are so inclined. leave a comment or shoot me off a note.

ive got a lovely bunch

June 19, 2003

ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts
(dee-el ee dee dee)

a word for today from

June 18, 2003

a word for today from klondike.kate:

sinecure - a position or office that requires little or no work but provides a salary.

act now!

June 17, 2003

this week!
this week only!
no money down!
no payments 'till spring!
no payments in spring!
no payments in summer!
no payment ever! ...

im going to be burning and assembling my cds for the mefi swap in the next few weeks.

since im already going to be in the assembly-line zohhh-ne: who wants one? leave a comment and include your email, or email me.

this is just the most rootin-tootin cd ev-ar. its new, improved, and squeeky clean fun fun fun!

ill only take names through friday. this week! this week only! so act now - supplies are limited!

if you happened to be

June 17, 2003

if you happened to be in fairbanks on sunday,
and if you happened to be in fred meyer west,
and if you happened to be in the womens clothing department,
and if you happened to see a man and woman hogging the entire aisle,
and if you happened to see them giggling a lot,
and if you happened to see them kicking a small shiny metal object back and forth,
and if you happened to hear the small shiny metal object make its happy sound while being kicked,
and if you happened to hear them say, "game off," and pretend to be interested in the clothes whenever someone walked past,
and if you happened to hear them say, "game on," and resume kicking the small happy-sounding metal piece when the coast was clear,

you should be jealous because my brother and i are way cooler than you.

i wish in windows i

June 16, 2003

i wish in windows i could be able to rearrange the items on my taskbar without having to close and reopen programs.

the band played at the

June 16, 2003

the band played at the santa claus house in north pole on saturday.

stressful because: (a) the stage (aka flat-bed truck: we are so alaskan) didnt show up, (b) we had no sound system besides the two amps we brought, (c) we were placed miiiiiiles from any group of people - which made (b) more of a problem, and (d) a lady called my djembe a bongo - she hurt its feelings.

really awesome because: (a) tons of people smiled as they walked by/through the band to get, (b) we were right next to hot licks and could smell the waffle cones baking, (c) a girl desperately wanted me to return her wave while i was playing the djembe, (d) an older guy 'secretly' videotaped us as he walked by three times, and (e) a toddler girl danced to our tunes and then gave me a rock.

it was a pretty rock, too.

my compulsion for post-it doodling

June 16, 2003

my compulsion for post-it doodling is reflected accurately at mathieu sylvain's post-it gallery.

ill probably submit a few things, but am disappointed that the required canvas is a yellow 3" by 3" sticky. yellow is the most dull of the wide range of colors, and i really prefer the 1.5" by 2" sizes.

im, like, a sticky note connoisseur.



June 13, 2003


happy graduation day, dear shigatsu.

June 13, 2003

happy graduation day, dear shigatsu.

why is it that when

June 12, 2003

why is it that when men gain weight their tummy gets bigger and remains smooth, but when women gain weight their tummy gets bigger and obtains more rolls?

whats up with that?

as of last weekend, i

June 11, 2003

as of last weekend, i have:

im very proud.

your procrastination is not my

June 11, 2003

your procrastination is not my emergency.
can you get that through your thick-skulled me-me-me pea-brain?

i dont care that Super Important Meeting is this afternoon and you have done diddly-squat in preparation for it. i dont care that you thought of 18 Very Important Things To Be Done an hour before Super Important Meeting and dont have the time to do it yourself.

what i do care about is how everything was dropped on my desk while you hid away for Mental And Emotional Preparation For Super Important Meeting. i care that i am expected to clean up after you. i care that We will look badly if i dont cover for your sorry self.

not my emergency.
remember that.

with a vengence

June 10, 2003

over the weekend my host upgraded php on my server which inadvertently removed my ownership over a few select directories - like my mt database directory. and the forum directory. rendering the two utterly useless.

some cool people over at the forum support community were able to identify this problem with the board. i snooped around in the mt directory and found the same thing had happened there. go figure.

can i just say that the support staff at 100 megs web hosting completely rock? they seem to actually care that my site is down, and all correspondence is done with a virtual smile. because of previous experience, i am always pleasantly surprised they dont call me names and delete my account every time i go to them when something is wrong.

so things are working again. and i am very happy.

today wander-lust shut down. i

June 6, 2003

today wander-lust shut down.

i loved that little button. it brought me sites that i would otherwise never find: some of which were promtly added to my syndication application du jour or my broswer bookmarks, and some of which i prayed i would never see again.

it would get me through a slow afternoon at work or a long night home with only the dog for company. when doing anything seemed to sap up too much energy, there was still that wander-lust button.

but now its gone, and i have removed the link.
a sad day, indeed.

its all about the cheesy

June 6, 2003

its all about the cheesy creamy creamy cheese (flash; foul-mouthed squirrel; goth in skivvies; nsfw) over at ill will press.

the squirrel does fanmail, too.


and because i know yall

June 5, 2003

and because i know yall want to see another picture of my dog:

because steve rode in on

June 5, 2003

because steve rode in on his css white horse last night and saved this distressed damsel from the nasty mean old uncle table, he has become CSS King Of My Heart.

id give him a kiss if he werent a six(ish) hour drive away. and if i werent married. and if b werent extremely jealous and would most likely beat his brain to a pulp.
but otherwise: definitely.

an offensive term for the

June 5, 2003

an offensive term for the female genitalia becomes increasingly less offensive while reading an enhaustive etymology and cultural history. its got the feel of a word that has lost its meaning due to being repeated aloud 300 times.

which isnt to say that the first person to direct that word towards me, a friend, or any child will get a high-five.


im bored as butt. too

June 4, 2003

im bored as butt.
too bad i cant get the help im needing. until that time (which may or may not come), i will stare at this code and stylesheet. until i break it even worse.

i dont sign the back

June 4, 2003

i dont sign the back of my debit or credit cards; instead, i write "Please See ID." can you guess how many times i have been asked for my id when using one of those cards? about once or twice.

the prankster at zug decide to see how crazy his signature can get before arousing suspicion. im not surprised in the least by what he found.

something else entirely.

June 4, 2003

something else entirely.

im serious about needing the

June 4, 2003

im serious about needing the help, people.

im betting there is someone

June 3, 2003

im betting there is someone out there who wants to help me with that wonderful age old browser question: "why does it look right here but not there even with valid-but-for-one-ie-feature css and near-valid html?"

im sure its something super simple and not only will you get the chance to laugh at me and defame my coding skills on your own website (provided you have one), but i will love you forever and will definitely invite you to my birthday party.

if that someone might be you, raise your hand in the comments or shoot me off an email. go on; dont be shy.

all right. who took my

June 3, 2003

all right.
who took my stack of lime green stickys?

addendum: i found it. and all is well in whoville.

thats it

June 2, 2003

the next person to ask me why their .p65 or .pmd file wont open properly in wordperfect will have their genitalia removed, because no one like that should be procreating.

nothing makes you feel oh-so-girly

June 2, 2003

nothing makes you feel oh-so-girly like a french pedicure.

the band is playing at

June 1, 2003

the band is playing at the Collegetown Coffeeshop tonight around 6. all you punks are invited.

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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