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August 2003 Archives

cleaning out my email folders,

August 29, 2003

cleaning out my email folders, i stumbled upon this gem i sent to my brother last month. it had no email history at the bottom of it. and i have no idea to what it referred. but it makes me giggle.

Odds: how very thoughtful of you.

Bits: i can see that. interesting.

Ends: we are proud of you.

if i was in a

August 29, 2003

if i was in a band (which i am, but if i were in a non-christian band...), i would totally vote for naming it Felonious Masturbation.

one can only ignore

August 29, 2003

one can only ignore the changing of seasons for so long.

handy-dandy little tool: cmospwd will

August 29, 2003

handy-dandy little tool: cmospwd will attempt to discover the password placed on your bios. if that fails, you can use it to erase the password completely. works like a charm.

the lunch hour included being

August 29, 2003

the lunch hour included being hit on, a 15 minute conversation with my father, and yummy chicken salad sandwich.
needless to say, it was filled with mixed emotions.

surely im not the only

August 28, 2003

surely im not the only person who bounces from this blog to that, spreading comments at will, and then immediately forgetting the site on which said comment was left, thus not reading any response to said comment, thus disabling me from any type of conversation about said topic.

surely im not alone.

Simplicity and boredom are your

August 28, 2003

Simplicity and boredom are your theme in dress. in bed.
bad cookie fortunes.


By registering their subjects in

August 28, 2003
By registering their subjects in an identical framework, with similar poses and a strictly observed dress code, Versluis and Uyttenbroek provide an almost scientific, anthropological record of people's attempts to distinguish themselves from others by assuming a group identity.

visually and sociologically fascinating.
update - ooh, one of the picture sets would be nsfw.

am in possibly the best

August 28, 2003

am in possibly the best mood ive been in for weeks. and it really feels faboo, dahhling. took a long evening walk where everyone who passed the dog and i either smiled, laughed, or waved. and one lady even pulled over to ask about Lacey's breed.

new upgraded computer all skookum and hhot with a 2.5ghz processor. when we pulled the old processor off of the old motherboard and pried the fan off of it, it looked like some battery acid nuclear meltdown. definitely not pretty, and probably why the computer was dying its slow death. hm.

then to value village to buy 4 shirts for under $9. then to the craft store for paint. then home to paint said shirts.

and i dont think i stopped talking for more than 5 minutes.
making up for the grumpiness/sickness of yesterday, you know.

japanese curry spilled on a

August 27, 2003

japanese curry spilled on a forearm looks suspiciously like baby poo.

word association thesaurus. cool.

August 27, 2003

word association thesaurus.

by popular request, and for

August 27, 2003

by popular request, and for a short time only:
the much praised letterhead on which i spent precious little time.

all gone.

lying on the grass with

August 27, 2003

lying on the grass with long sleeves and a good book in the sun's last summer appearance while the dog chases butterflies and eats grass.
the best way to spend a lunch hour.

i just creativically-vomited out a

August 26, 2003

i just creativically-vomited out a letterhead design for a local organization.

it took me three hours, two of which were spent trying to figure out why pagemaker wont recognize a few select fonts out of my 1500 installed (anyone know what pagemakers limit is? 500? 1000?).

its plain, its ugly, its bland, its colorless, its graphics-less, its blah.
and everyone in management loved it.
praise for Valette here. praise for Valette there.

i feel like i stepped into the twilight zone where the entire towns artistic sensors are fried. posters up everywhere with 18 different clipart graphics each. 9 distinct colors. comic sans and lucida calligraphy. stars for bullets. hearts for divider lines. frou-frou borders on everything. dogs and cats living together.

i just dont get it. and i might go insane.

imbecilic prick.

August 26, 2003

imbecilic prick.

pompous bastard.

August 26, 2003

pompous bastard.

i had a three day

August 26, 2003

i had a three day weekend, one that wasnt planned until 7.40 monday morning when i found my husband and dog were not going to get out of bed. pretty good decision, i think.

i have been away from the internet for what seems like ages (three days feels like that when one is *ahem* addicted). and im finding myself with little to say here.

in that time ireformatted our home computer, watched our motherboard kick the bucket (it wasnt pretty), and helped decide (with the hubby) the best path for our upgradable future. which should be complete on wednesday. hoorah hooray.

today i am grumpy and a bit depressed. i dont want to be at work and interacting with these people. i want to curl up in bed with my dog and read three books that will prohibit my brain from working at all.

is that too much for a girl to ask?

remove messenger from windows xp.

August 22, 2003

remove messenger from windows xp.
worked perfectly for me.

when fatboy slim's weapon of

August 22, 2003

when fatboy slim's weapon of choice video came out starring christopher walken, i became completely addicted to it. even today, after 30+ viewings of the video, my eyes still get glued to it.

now i can get all the same excitement sans christopher with stick figure of choice (mirror).


i got nothin. only artsy-fartsy

August 22, 2003

i got nothin.
only artsy-fartsy pictures.

i love those ruffled plastic

August 21, 2003

i love those ruffled plastic pants that go over a babys diaper, or the tights with the butt ruffles.

now, thanks to fredericks of hollywood, i can ruffle my own butt in either black mesh with pink ruffes (crack probably nsfw), or red boy-leg ruffles.

if i were blissfully unaware that b would never touch me again if i wore ruffles, i would totally get one of each.

white mascara causes the

August 21, 2003

white mascara causes the top lashes to chemically bond to the lower lashes such that one cannot open her eyes. but its completely worth it because the eyelashes are white.
can ya dig it?

the gashlycrumb tinies detail twenty-six

August 21, 2003

the gashlycrumb tinies detail twenty-six wonderful ways for children to die. by the wonderful edward gorey.

if you havent seen these yet, you must look at them all. and recite them all day. not that i would ever get these stuck in my head. nooo. hey look, theres a gorey font, too.

letterscapes is interactive java art with citizens of the alphabet. you get to pull the letters around and, you know, play with them. its a lot more fun than what im making it sound like, honest.

eight new garden photos. and

August 20, 2003

eight new garden photos.
and three more of lacey.

be sure to wear

August 20, 2003

tree thumbnail

be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.

potpourri. and not the stinky,

August 20, 2003

potpourri. and not the stinky, burny kind.

blogstakes: a sweepstakes where you dont have to sell your soul and a prize is awarded to the winner and the referring site. ive got my eye on the free browsercam for a year; the party pack is just a bit weird. click on the links and enter - if you win, i win!

iespell: spell checker for internet explorer. i think every browser should come with a spell checker. the web isnt just for looking at anymore.

its a dog eat schlong world. heh heh.

instant notification when someone reads your blog. cool cool. im not going to start implementing this because [1] its ugly, and [2] i rarely use any im software anymore. the only time i would ever be on would be around 6pm for 15 minutes, or at 2am when i have insomnia. what are the odds i would get a message during those times?

what little girl hasnt wanted a giant truck camera? well, me, for one. but this is still hella-kewl.

the gender genie can, using

August 19, 2003

the gender genie can, using highly complicated algorithms, determine if the author of a certain passage is male or female.

by the look of the feedback graph, it is more often inaccurate.

i threw at it a handful of my posts here, and the only one that identified me as a female is the last one: "my mom is cooler than your mom." highly accurate.

so i tried a few other sites, using the five most recent posts (within reason - if the post was solely quoting someone else, i skipped it):

im not too impressed at its skillz, but its pretty fun.

[via 601am, who writes like a girl]

a fax: my mom is

August 19, 2003

a fax:
fax: i love you

my mom is cooler than your mom.

something beautiful

August 19, 2003

my new exploding dog book just came in the mail today: wish for something better.

it was an impulse buy for me - something that rarely ever happens. but the book is wonderful and worth the impulse.

one of its side effects is that it further solidifies my status as 'weird, wild, and a bit sadistic' in the office. i rather like that.

i think i may have

August 19, 2003

i think i may have fixed the camera.
*crosses fingers*

what is it with the

August 18, 2003

what is it with the recent amount of people (or one who is quite determined) searching for "Kobe Bryent Rape Pictures" or "Kobe Bryant Accuser Photos" or "[random name] Playboy Pictures" on popdex and getting my photo albums?

and what an accurate search engine to display my sites with such results. hrrm.

a pair of pliers and

August 18, 2003
a pair of pliers and a blowtorch
meet in her aspect and her eyes:
the following statement is true fax back

do you hate me?
you'd dig it the most

idea generator.
for inspiration. by

works digital camera is on

August 18, 2003

works digital camera is on the fritz. im hoping that whoever took it to the retreat this past weekend didng drop it numerous times on the floor.

i was able to download the retreat pictures to my computer, and i can take pictures just fine. but when i view the pictures directly in the camera viewfinder, it starts blinking ERROR ERROR. and the test pictures are corrupted when i download them to the computer.

after deleting all the pictures from the card, it wouldnt turn itself off. and i kind of forgot i was waiting for it to turn off. so it sat for a few hours thinking and overheating.

if this thing is dead, work cant afford a new one. and then what will i use to take pictures on the weekend?

the uniform of today: maroon

August 18, 2003

the uniform of today:
maroon shirt, khaki bottom, brown shoes.

what i want to know is how three of us in the office dressed like this without once talking to each other.

subsiding stomach aches. hear me

August 18, 2003

subsiding stomach aches.
hear me out.
a plate of pasta the size of texas.
free movie tickets.
cursed pirates.
smokey eyeshadow.
holding b's hand while running to the car through the rain.
french braids.
new shoes.
reading in bed; cuddling with the dog.

my weekend was faboo.

i cant have a

August 15, 2003

i cant have a bath without candles.

fact: you know as well

August 15, 2003

fact: you know as well as i do that its private property even though the parking lot is always empty and the building has been empty and vandalized for years.

fact: last time we parked a buttload of vehicles in that parking lot, a bunch got towed. and we had to haul butt to get the remaining 10 moved before they too were towed.

yes, it would be courteous of them to post a no parking sign.

no, they are not legally bound to post signs.
private property is private property whether posted or not.

yes, they are legally within their rights to tow your vehicle.
at your expense.

no, you are not entitled to park there just because its empty.

yes, you are an idiot.

i spent the evening trying

August 15, 2003

i spent the evening trying to ignore the pain. so i ran a few errands, thinned my garden some, made a garden salad, and did loads of laundry. i read in bed for a few hours trying different positions to make the pain subside. at one point it did and i nearly fell asleep.

from 10.30p until 12.30a i tossed and turned. left side. back. right side. each new position was either as painful or more so than the last. finally i got out of bed and sat facing the toilet.

this pain was a mixture of need-to-vomit and horrid-gas pains. but it was neither one nor the other. it was too low to be pre-vomit pains, and i felt nothing in my thraot. but it was too high to be gas pains, and it didnt move around like those tend to.

it just sat in the center of my being.
and hurt.

around 1.00a i discovered the one position that gave me some respite: sitting cross-legged on the floor facing the toilet with my head on my arms on the toilet lid. not the most appealing place to be, but i was able to doze.

i couldnt stay there for long so i tried the bed again, but i quickly moved back to the bathroom. and this time i had a blanket and pillow.

eventually i moved to the couch and fell asleep for a few hours. when i made it back to my bed at 3.00a, i think i was too sleepy to niotice the pain and so slept wonderfully.

this morning its a dull pain in the background as a painful reminder of my lack of sleep and its reason. im at work and grumpy. i just want it to go away.

right. so. this power outage

August 14, 2003

right. so. this power outage thing.
the outage area is comparable to about the size of... oh... a third of alaska. and thats being rather generous.

now lets say a geographical third of alaska loses its power - how about the most politically important and most populated third. so the south third of alaska.

that would be Anchorage (largest city), Homer (thinking of my family in the dark for 12 hours makes me chuckle), Juneau (state capital), Sitka (rainiest), Dutch Harbor, Egigik, and a few hundred native alaskan villages.

now, if all of those cities and their surrounding area were plunged into the dark for 12 hours, do you think it would make the national news? and do you know why?

alaska doesnt have subways. or 3742 stories in buildings - the tallest i can remember in anchorage is an oil companys with about 30 stories. most alaskans collect generators. and use outhouses. and the sun doesnt set until late late.

plus, im willing to bet that a third of alaskas entire population lives without power.

so to all those in the outage area: pansies.
im still glad im here, not there.


August 14, 2003

mmmm. kiwi.

some hostile takeover happened about

August 14, 2003

some hostile takeover happened about an hour ago on blogshares that affected a bunch of my shares.
but hey - im not complaining.
i just need to figure out what to do with all this money.

my right submandibul gland is

August 13, 2003

my right submandibul gland is swollen this morning.
its making me feel whiney.

bookmarklet reference of the gods.

August 13, 2003

bookmarklet reference of the gods.
mostly as a bookmark for myself and the numerous computers i inhabit.
but woe to you who have yet to see it.

fractals are finally introduced to

August 12, 2003

fractals are finally introduced to millions of colors.
and eyes worldwide breathe a sign of relief.

on friday the band played

August 11, 2003

on friday the band played at the tanana valley state fair. it was a beautifully sunny day tacked onto a rain-logged fair week.

the gig was good. the fair was fun. the corn fritters were yummy.

then a friend decided to take my husband onto The Ejection Seat. and i got pictures.

psst. four more puppy photos.

August 11, 2003

four more puppy photos.
five more garden photos.

another one bites the dust

August 11, 2003

we bit the bullet and, on friday, got cable modem hooked up.

every preteen girl and every

August 10, 2003

every preteen girl and every post-pubescent male needs to see before and after digitally retouched photographs. models do not look the same in real life as they do on the cover of maxim.

perhaps magazines should have warning lables akin to those on cigarettes.

warning: models are less healthy than they appear.


August 10, 2003

i think it's a shame
when i get feeling better
when i'm feeling no pain

well let me tell you

August 8, 2003

well let me tell you about the way she looked
the way she acted, the color of her hair
her eyes were soft and cool
her eyes were clear and bright
but she's not there

please don't bother trying to find her
she's not there

4.10am. woke to the sound

August 7, 2003

woke to the sound of wretching, amplified.
bolted up in time to see lacey step out of her kennel at foot of bed.
carried kennel and dog into living room where lights could be turned on without waking B.
no vomit found. no damp spot found.
back in bedroom with hallway light on.
no vomit found. no damp spot found. nothing.
couldnt decide if the lack of solid evidence (its consistency is debatable) was a good or bad thing.
back in bed, dreamt of the rapture.

what just reminded me of this?

an aaa study finds that

August 6, 2003

an aaa study finds that eating and listening to music are more dangerous than talking on a cell phone while driving.

ive done the lipstick thing at lights and while driving. ive never done any eye makeup because without my glasses i am as blind as a bat - but that is probably the only thing stopping me.

i have been known to change clothes while driving. not a complete change, mind you; usually the removal or addition of a sweatshirt/sweater.

oh, and when i had a car with cruise control, i would sometimes pull my legs up and sit cross-legged on long trips.

and mail. i have read mail while at stoplights and between lights.

thats not to mention the whole zoning-out issue. when driving for a period of about 10 minutes on a path that i have taken numerous times, i will slip into a meditative zone. i will snap back to attention usually when i reach my destination and realize that i didnt recall any of the drive. but im not going to mention that.

and you?
whats your bad driving habit?


Other designer:You suck, but that's

August 6, 2003
Other designer:
You suck, but that's a given.
Damn you and your "skillz."
-- work-related haikus

for two summers in my

August 6, 2003

for two summers in my high school years i worked for the alaska marine highway system (the alaska ferry system) as the receptionsist and office gopher. it was an okay job, not great money and i did work for my grandfather. i dont really miss it that much, but i do miss a few of the people. and did they ever love me.

now i (or you) can have the perfect memento of the time i spent at the ferry office: my very own ferry boat at currently just over $300k.

after living in alaska my entire life, being the grandaughter of the man who ran the homer ferry terminal, the daughter of the man who tied up the ferry boat three times a week for 182 years, and the terminal receptionist for two summers, its a little surprising that i have never stepped foot onto a ferry boat.

and dont really have the desire to.

when one has a listing

August 5, 2003

when one has a listing of recent comments on the sidebar of ones blog, one must be careful what one titles ones entries.

95.16 is the magic number

August 5, 2003

is the magic number
i need to ditch stuff off my server.

yesterday i got this totally

August 5, 2003

yesterday i got this totally wonderful vanilla hand lotion from gina because im super special and wonderful and she wants to be just like me.

actually, its because im annoyingly persistent and sent in an entry form every darn week for her blogaversary drawing sweepstakes and she felt pity for my sorry self that i never won.

no matter. it still smells yummy.

im seriously considering clipping my

August 5, 2003

im seriously considering clipping my toenail.
perhaps inappropriate for the workplace.
for the receptionist.
but still.

theyre super long.
a whole 1/16 inch of white tips.
disgustingly long.
so i just might.

11am: already did; no one got hurt

signups opened last night for

August 5, 2003

signups opened last night for TypePad. it looks like they give you a 30 day free trial of the service, which is pretty cool.

heres the deal. i am keeping my TypePad account for the next few months, mostly as a photo storage. i am offering to set up a blog on my TypePad account for friends and family to play with it, if anyone is so inclined.

if you speak up, i will add you as a guest author and you will be able to make posts. if you want to be able to fiddle with layout and other features, you will need to sign up for your own account (remember the 30 day free trial).

and if you do decide to sign up, let me know because i can get you a 20% lifetime discount. cant beat that, eh?

(geez - i should just slap "Walking TypePad Advert" to my forehead. these gushings about the service should stop pretty soon, i promise.)

google has announced that they

August 4, 2003

google has announced that they now include the capabilities to search for synonyms by using the twiddle: ~.

great for searches for latexish and bdsmesque supplies.
andy baio has some more work appropriate uses for the new operator.

ive gone and corrupted another

August 4, 2003

ive gone and corrupted another human being.
my brother now has a blog to call his own.

but all he ever talks about is comics this and comics that.
im much cooler than him.
hands down.

a girl has got to have shoes

August 4, 2003

im wearing the white strappy sandals i wore (in december, no less) the day of my wedding. i havent wore them once between the wedding and this morning, save for trying them on with this skirt or that, only to toss them back into the closet (meaning lightly set in their place on my make-shift shoe rack).

theyre rubbing my heels kind of bad; but they are pretty sexy. these paired with my impressive décolletage are just the things that made my mother grind her teeth through the entire ceremony.

at long last, typepad bans

August 2, 2003

at long last, typepad bans its secret handshake and opens itself up to the world.

im not going to sign up.
really, its rather expensive to have that in addition to the domain. and im not giving up th domain and all its goodies (even if i dont update the font section ever).

but i am really sad that it is almost over - i was hoping the beta testing would go on longer. and i was just getting into the swing of posting on three separate blogs.

if any of you want to give it a go - and it really is a great service with a great price - mention it to me and i just might have a goodie for you. meaning i can get you a discount.

and you will love me forever.

rabbit rabbit. that sleepy un-intelligible

August 1, 2003

rabbit rabbit.

that sleepy un-intelligible goodbye i gave to B this morning doesnt count.

Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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