last year we didnt put up any christmas decorations. i tried my hardest to not celebrate christmas, because doing so would acknowledge and accept that life goes on without my sister.
this year i was emotionally able to set up the tree and other assorted ornamentation. i could go shopping and hum along with the carols. i could wrap and get excited about giving gifts.
last night i took the tree and all christmas-y decorations down. while we didnt move stuff around to make room for the tree, there is now a huge, gaping hole where it once stood. and again i was reminded of the huge, gaping hole in my life where melissa once stood. it may not be as painful as it once was, but it still exists. and i still really miss her.