That thing about using the cooling pool at the nuclear power plant to make lots of hard boiled eggs really fast for the company picnic? She warned him.
March 2004 Archives
sometimes i replay conversations in my head.
not to rescript.
not to analyze.
but only to replay.
sometimes i replay facial expressions.
not in my head.
not to myself.
but on my physical face.
sometimes this results in much confusion.
not to myself.
but to everyone else.
"I love Macy Gray because she looks like one of the muppets."
i was going to post some funnies about the trip, but the server on which this site resides was out sick today.
instead, my office is full-to-busting with yellow items.
ive created a monster from one poorly-thought-out haphazardly-mentioned game propsed in an office-wide email this morning: bring me yellow things; the winner will get a prize. and now there are over 50 items of a bright yellow color decorating half of my office.
probably the biggest mistake i made was to announce this contest is going on all week.
but then i dont know when i have seen this many smiles in the office.
how to edit print text for the web. different mediums call for different presentation.
the untitled project - "The absence of the printed word not only draws attention to the role text plays in the modern landscape but also simultaneously emphasizes alternative forms of communication..."
flash speak n spell. i have a creepy speak n spell story from my youth. another time.
accessible pop-up links from everyones favorite list apart. now i know the best way to do pop-ups... ill have to check all my templates and replace the shoddy work i did.
and im pretty much all caught up.
im obviously still in holiday mode - when trying to catch up on all those blogs i seem to find time to follow (not counting those belonging to my audience of three - because i love you guys), i cant help thinking that all these subjects and links and time spent typing out all these subjects and links is pure bullocks. i cant be arsed just quite yet. they shall have to wait for the comfy workplace depression to settle back in.
and perhaps i have been spending too much time reading books by british authors.
home again, home again, jiggity-jig.
aaaaaaand breathe out.
welcome back to cilivlization and the internet.
welcome back to one last sleepless night.
welcome back to screaming children who frighten the dog.
welcome back to my brothers in anchorage.
one more night.
one more night.
then back home.
one more night.
THE GLACIER DRIVE-IN IS OPEN!!!
can you possibly understand? all of our trips to homer have been in the winter, and the glacier would be closed. it opened just a few days ago. ohhhh yeah.
were in anchor point and all i want to do is sleep.
my brother forgot me when making his morning mochas.
diary queen is as great as i remember.
claritin is the nectar of the allergy plagued gods.
the roads were equally great from anchorage south.
i can clog toilets with my highly viscous urine.
baby miniature schnauzers are adorable. i so want one.
the roads to anchorage were dry and clear and completely wrong for the brand new $500 winter tires put on the car just thursday. a few highlights:
- the black vw bug we passed with a black shark fin on its roof
- the showdown between lacey the schnauzer and lucy the cat is always too entertaining
- the dream about poop. why do i have this recurring theme?
- KANE. SHE IS KANE.
- no matter how much time spent on fluffing and assembling and arranging the perfect pillows and foam pad things, the dog will still consistently choose to sleep on b's jacket
i leave you with a preview and a lifetime supply of fish sticks.
typekey will be a comment authentication service by the makers of movable type. it will be implemented directly into the next release of mt, yet is freely available for other services to use it. how long, i wonder, will it be until spammers get around this?
and... bum ba duh bahhhhh!
strongbads 100th email!
now im off to pack, sleep, eat, shave, and hit the road.
but not necessarily in that order.
their animations are great, too, but feel more like high school videos than pieces of art.
currently wishing i lived in a bigger metropolitan area where i could walk to the grocery store and do all sorts of walking so that i would have more of a reason to get an mp3 player because the geek in me really really really really wants one especially seeing some other bloggers selling theirs for pretty cheap.
the wish wont last long, im sure.
oh, did i not mention?
im going on a road trip?
for a whole big long week?
to see the family in anchor point?
and the family in homer?
because i am.
we are leaving saturday morning, crashing at my brothers in anchorage, then to anchor point to see b's family. then to homer to see my family and a few select friends and hopefully trudge through the snow and jump a snowed-in fence to lay flowers on my sisters grave.
on our drive back north we will swing by seward to crash at a friends, an in wasilla to crash at another brothers. this is going to be a full week, and updates here will be sporadic.
anyone who has ever done any road travel in alaska would know how difficult it is to find the toll-free number for highway information.
myself, i can never find it.
but in this wonderful new century, the world wide web (or, as some people refer to it, the Internet) comes to the rescue. because alaska highway information is online!
this will come in much handiness this weekend.
what is, the most difficult tire to find in fairbanks?
last night i moaned and complained on the couch as food commercials sparked in me intense cravings.
every single food commercial.
pizza, pizza pockets, pizza rolls, pizza on a bagle, bottomless breadsticks, orange juice, tomato soup, the other white meat, milk, cheese in a can, and everything in between.
it was either my body telling me to get some food into my starving sick body, or its telling me that im pregnant.
the latter cannot be true because i nearly ran screaming from a plate of rotisserie style chicken floating in its own fat.
a pregnant woman would stick a straw into that bowl of fat and slurp up the best part.
oh, good lord. that is disgusting.
im home sick today.
right now i am seriously considering drilling holes into my skull to realease some pressure.
im thinking three holes.
one above each ear and one at the base of my skull.
because this headache makes me want to cry.
[links via mefi]
i had to check my telephone three times this morning to be sure i wasnt seeing things.
i turn my back for two seconds and BAM.
sixteen spam comments from the same dude.
its her birthday today, you see.
she would have been twenty.
she has missed out on so much.
i have missed out on so much. with her.
i miss her.
its no longer a mystery why i have been crying constantly for the past two weeks.
it smells like spring outside.
it smells wet, like spring.
it is above 40 degrees, and the snow is rotting.
i hope this is the real deal and nature wont send us another 'SIKE!' evening below negative twenty.
go say happy birthday to jr and spank him till hes raw.
if not for him or for yourself, do it for me.
apparently, the phrase 'third week of march' is subject to interpretation.
which is funny-ha-ha until you realize that while i did, in fact, take the third week of march off from work, he, on the other hand, took the second-to-last week of march off from his place of employment.
the second-to-last week of march.
otherwise known as the fourth week of march.
not the third.
and we were thiiiiiiis close to taking seperate vacations.
from now on, our plans must include dates.
i will bake you a plate of choco chip cookies if you come do my dishes.
i managed to send an almond rocca mocha tidal wave crashing into my brother, sending debris and spray many feet into the air above our heads.
what did you accomplish today?
As long as we're throwing arbitrary home accessories in with our hotel stays, how 'bout something even more esoteric? Let's have an eggbeater in every room. "The eggbeater's next to the bed, and you'll find the egg-dispensing machine by the elevators. Enjoy your stay."
would whoever jolted me out of bed at 7.30 this morning by calling with a choppy, halty, incomprehensible phone call please shoot yourself in the foot?
straight from a horror novel: CITY. WIDE. CABLE. MODEM. FAILURE.
where i rediscovered the horrors of papercuts under my nails and the complete isolation of an alaskan winter without the internet.
it was awful.
im still shaking.
music + typeface + illustration = typographic illustrations.
printing basics for web designers includes some great info on spot printing, pantone colors, and bleeds. further good tips in the comments, too.
are you the kind of person who eats broccoli stalks?
im in the middle of a hundred projects right now, ranging from volunteer supervision, computer troubleshooting, setting up the telephone automated system, seminar preparation, and sleeping.
hence the one-liner posts.
plus the one night i slept on the waterbed alone did wonderful pain-like things to my hips, and they havent stopped hurting. if only there was some way to automatically adjust the amount of water in the mattress on a whim. more tonight, less tomorrow night.
and if someone would send me a clone - any clone, it doesnt have to be of me so long as it is hard working (in fact, a clone of me wouldnt work out very good) - i will set the clone to work in my office and then bake you two dozen chocolate chip cookies.
and ill help you eat them.
it will be fun.
i need a vacation.
Hi, I'm Valette
I AM THE ONLY ONE IN THE HOUSE STOP THIS IS NOT A DRILL STOP COMMENCE OPTION OVERLOAD PANIC 5 hours ago
📺 Describe this with an emoji. It's kind of sexy. 👨🏻 So 🍆? 👩🏼 No she used 😉 👦🏻 *I* got it, dad 👩🏼 Um I got it too? 🍆=penis 👦🏻😳 omg mom stop 6 hours ago
- March 2016
- December 2015
- March 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- View all archives