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April 2004 Archives

recycled content

April 30, 2004
It was more like leaning against my filthy car in a grocery store parking lot, desperately chugging sugar syrup crap water. And then waiting for my headache to subside.

I think that's what they should show in their commercials.

-- mister pants

find and replace

April 29, 2004

this little multiple find and replace tool just saved me hours of ctrl-h, enter, tab, enter, ctrl-s, ctrl-o, enter, ctrl-h... hell.

300 images

April 29, 2004

300 images from 1800 sites.
proves you really cant get terribly creative when making an arrow icon.

super mario tradgedy part 4

April 29, 2004

part four of the super mario tradgedy is available... only one more part to finish the story (first three parts previously discussed).

quality control

April 28, 2004

since im in work-rant mode:

what makes you believe, really believe, that two quotes back to back makes for a good newsletter article?

"volunteer said: its really fulfilling to volunteer. client said: i got a lot of help that helped us out a lot."

sorry, does not cut it.
give it back to me when youve passed 9th grade english class.


April 28, 2004

one of my coworkers is sitting in her office on the other side of the building and singing stand by me at the top of her lungs and i cannot get my speakers to drown her out without everyone in the office knowing im not listening to worship music and i want to ring her neck to get her to PLEASE SHUT UP.

i wonder if i could leave the office early?

whats copyright?

April 28, 2004

hey, guess what?
this internet thing is CHOCK FULL of stuff like devotionals and articles and crap.

wouldnt it be great if we just took some of it and plopped it into our newsletter and then mailed it to john q public? we would look so great and smart and knowledgeable.

what do you mean, permission? of course we dont need to get permission - we would give appropriate copyright information, of course. at least use that little c thingy - you know, with the circle?

and fer cryin' out loud - its on the internet! its pretty much asking to be republished!

one step forward, fourteen steps back.


April 28, 2004

enough with this xhtml/css CRAP.
im going back to tables.
and frames.

eat a cookie

April 28, 2004

when i am sad, i eat a cookie


April 27, 2004

how, exactly, does 'every breath you take' by the police get classified as adult alternative?

best mp3s

April 27, 2004

how to make the best mp3s on earth.

thank you thank you

April 26, 2004

nearing the end of a brief phone conversation...

them: okay, i appreciate it.
me: youre welcome.
them: thank you.

whats up with that?

am i expected to give another 'youre welcome'?
was i incorrect to assume their 'i appreciate it' was synonymous with 'thanks'?

this happens with about 60% of all phone calls i answer at work, and it drives me batty.


April 26, 2004

someone brought nutella in to the office so those sad nutella virgins could pop their hazelnut cherries.

the smell throws me onto a parisian street corner in 1998. there was a crepe stand half a block from the hostel, and we visited it upwards of three times a day. im sure i tried any and every flavor (even grand marnier; took me only two bites to realize it was alcohol), but my favorite by far were the nutella crepes.

now i need to make some dessert crepes... its been too long.


April 24, 2004

what disgusts you?

mefi swap offer

April 23, 2004

im making a mix cd for the mefi swap.
and, like last time i participated, i want to make this mix available to my faithful readers. all three of you.

if you are interested in getting a mix cd all the way from the frozen north of alaska, drop me an email with your address. i will only use your personal information for watching you undress at night mailing this one cd.

ill need to know by... oh, i dont know... lets say next friday.

full o wit

April 22, 2004

consider this something incredibly witty.
im chewing on my spectacles ear piece right now.
all for lynne.

peeling paint

April 22, 2004

i have a peeling paint photo album up, using the most wonderful photostack.

im healed!

April 22, 2004

what they dont tell you is hostess frosted donettes cure hiccoughs.

and then

April 21, 2004

...then they took me to lunch, and sent me home two hours early.
oh, joy!

angry letters

April 21, 2004

please, don't let the remains of any friendship be preserved solely in Angry Letters.

for me

April 21, 2004

today is, apparently, Administrative Professional's Day, or Assistant's Day, or Secretary's Day, or whatever other politically correct term you want to give it.

and while my duties at the office are highly varied and specialized and worshiped, my title is still administrative assistant.

my day thus far has included ghirardelli chocolate squares, a fun balloon, doughnuts from the donut shoppe, and teeny tiny potted tete-a-tete daffodils.

lavendar frost

April 20, 2004

i am lavendar frost: pms 15-3507

You are extremely bright and may become bored if you are not stimulated or surrounded by people who can keep up with your keen intellect.

find your pantone birthday color.


insect shop

April 20, 2004

make your own creepy crawly bugs with a flash insect shop.

and other fun and interactive animations, like the awesome bug orgy screensaver that im tempted to install on the boss's computer. must. resist.

furniture set

April 19, 2004

on saturday i bought a complete living room set from salvation army on a whim. those that know me will understand these actions as completely uncharacteristic: i... bought... on a whim. just doesnt happen with me.

i really liked the sturdy wood frames, and was able to get the whole set for cheaper than they were asking. i got b to swing by in order to give his opinion on their awesomeness and help load them into the truck.

a couch, loveseat, chair, ottoman, and a side table that is ugly as hell but b liked so we got anyway. they look as though they belong in a ski lodge, occupied by people drinking hot cocoa.

which reminds me: i need to buy hot cocoa.

after we got the god-awfully-heavy ugly green couch out the doors and into the truck, pulling many muscles and emptying many sweat glands in the process, the new arrangement felt exactly like home. the dog didnt even freak out like she did when we got the green couch. it was a sign from the most high that this was how our living room was supposed to be.

lacey did manage to claim the ottoman as her personal throne and only left it to bring up her favorite toys, rewarding them by sharing her perfect throne - something she wouldnt even do with me.

and i need to recover it. baaaadly. perhaps a moss green of sorts. or a... slate blue. the possibilities are endless.


April 19, 2004

its snowing.
its the middle of april.
last week we had record highs in the mid-50s.
right now, snow is falling.


April 18, 2004

i woke up angry.
hurt and angry.
and no matter
how many times
i tell myself:
just a dream
just a dream,
it feels real
i cant believe
he did that
to me.


April 16, 2004

my entire family is in anchorage this weekend.
and now im kinda wishing i was too.
in spite of my father also being in anchorage.
being around my brothers and my mom soothes me.
rejuvinates me.
reminds me that im not alone in grieving melissa.
reminds me that other hearts are broken.
reminds me that im not alone.

piano rock

April 16, 2004

why do we forget dreams?
the best of piano rock

i see london

April 16, 2004

the day i wear a skirt, i will have to crawl around on the floor underneath peoples desks fixing computers.

never fails.

sound memories

April 15, 2004

isnt it wonderful how a myterious playlist file in the middle of your 800+ mp3s labeled only 'valette' can throw you back into the middle of summer 2000, the summer of your summer-long-and-then-some bout of depression, and you think, life may have been bad but at least the music rocked, yet at the back of your mind you wonder how easily you could slip back into another depression of that magnitude and whether theis one playlist would be the catalyst to do just that?

(my mp3 collection has been found.
praise be to our eternal False Prophet™!)

who do you look like?

April 15, 2004

i apparently look like shania twain, charlize theron, and marilyn monroe - see for yourself (looks like the session expired... oh well).

who do you look like?


free cookie day

April 15, 2004

subway gave me a free cookie today.
almost made up for the 20 minutes wait caused by the one and only employee working.

under wraps

April 15, 2004

why might there be an empty condom wrapper on the floor in my office?

lego volvo

April 14, 2004

full size lego volvo.

poof gone

April 14, 2004

if you were a few cd-rws that b used to backup my entire mp3 collection, you should totally jump up and down screaming, 'over here! we are over here!'

punkin seed

April 14, 2004

eating a brownberry seasoned crouton with a large slice of green bell pepper (one not very ripe because, lets face it, this is spring time in alaska) tastes just like roasted pumpkin seeds.

fo' real.

phone bill surprise

April 14, 2004

i just paid my phone bill last night and had to do a double take at the amount due.
not that its too high; in fact it was just the opposite.

it appears that the phone company gave us a $36 internet discount, rendering our cable modem internet access completely and utterly free.


i hope this is just one of those new things theyre doing from now until eternity.


April 14, 2004

i wish i was smarter


April 13, 2004

if you were online right now, and if i were online right now, you could totally talk to me and brighten my day.
if i had an icq number of 21587990.
or an aim username of rhapsodie00.
or a yahoo! username of rhapsodie_hongroise.
or a msn email of

you know, if you wanted.


April 13, 2004

a few weeks ago, pandagon posted a sort of blogging mad-lib, if you will, that was mildly amusing. but the comments brought it into the oh-yes-i-just-laughed-aloud realm:

Whiny-toned comment referring to previous, unrelated topic showing how the poster of this topic is also a hypocrite sometimes, even though it doesn't really show that at all.

Obscenities. CAPITAL LETTERS. Haiku.

if you have had any experience with any post with more than ten commenters, you will recognize at least a handfull of these comments.

spike collaboration

April 13, 2004

spike is a collaboratative clipboard application. faster and cooler looking than email, im going to have to implement this in the office with at least one other staff memeber to try it out.


April 13, 2004

flag certain forbidden words with this handy-dandy bookmarklet and "...see at a glance who deserves your mockery."

cotton candy update

April 12, 2004

in a suprising turn of events, the post i made back in january about a cotton candy autopsy is still receiving comments from people ive never heard of and replies from the comic author about the status of the comic.

arial? arial??

April 12, 2004

while it could be worse, why oh why would you insist on using Arial to send out a letter to all the churches on our organization letterhead? especially when we have an 'official' organization font?

as the boss, the executive director, you should be ashamed of yourself.


April 12, 2004

i really want to get a fetching tag for lacey, but dont know what to put on it.

attention slut?
sweet pea?
only child?
spoiled rotten?

and also the $30 pricetag is a bit much.
im sure ill be over it by tomorrow.

every half hour

April 12, 2004

take a picture of yourself every half hour for three weeks.


April 11, 2004

does it feel like easter to anyone else?
because it sure doesnt to me.

patron saints

April 11, 2004

patron saints of graphic design


April 10, 2004

i got my first sun burn of the season.
my first of many, many to come.
i had to pull out the aloe vera.
this is a very good sign of summer.

oh yes

April 10, 2004

the garage sale was a much bigger success than i had envisioned. i managed to walk away with over $375 hold card cash when i had expected about $100. my brother and his wife more than quadrupled what they had expected.


now im totally prepared to hit some garage sales next weekend and spend all my hard-earned money.

shit-can it

April 9, 2004

problem solving flowchart
will you catch hell? > no > shit-can it > no problem

drawing fun dhtml boxes

buy my crap

April 9, 2004

at 2.30 this afternoon the boss realized, 'hey - were a christian organization, right? so why are we open on good friday?' a lot of forehead slapping ensued as staff memebers opened personell policies and saw that we were supposed to have today off as a paid holiday.


so we got sent home early. i stole my husbands truck and hauled a bunch of heavy crap over to my brothers house for our garage sale tomorrow.

oh, i didnt mention that here. well:
** 1066 EVERGREEN (in fairbanks, you nimwits)

anyway, i just got home from all the setting up. that is some hard work, yo.

my feet and my hips hurt like an old woman and i feel extra dirty.
and not in a good way.

twenty three questions

April 9, 2004

i havent done a meme in quite a while, so i was going to do these 23 questions but got halfway through it and rememered why i didnt do questionaire-type memes any more.

must be

April 9, 2004

waffles! we must all have waffles, forthwith!

remind me some day

April 8, 2004

how you remind me of someday
two nickleback songs, how you remind me and someday, mixed into one mp3: one from the right speaker and one from the left.

(update: try this one if the first link isnt working for you)


every song on the white album gets its own web layout. ob-la-di, ob-la-da is missing a layout... i feel compelled to do something about that.


ice cream

April 8, 2004

favorite ice cream recipies.
i need to add my own when i get home tonight.


April 8, 2004

this isnt what i was expecting

thanks but no

April 7, 2004

um, hi.
last-minute brilliant creative brainstorming with no prior notice or preparation time?


April 7, 2004

tired of waiting for your site to ping the long list of must-ping-sites? try using blog service pinger - pings as many or as few as you want. and was much faster than when mt pings them for me.

and: the memespread project - just for kicks.

not worth it

April 7, 2004

ani difranco is in town this weekend.
is she worth seeing?


April 7, 2004

MoCoLoco is a blog (they call themselves a web magazine) about modern contemporary design and architecture. i have to have one of everything they list. oh yes.

the eye thing

April 7, 2004

oh. my. god.


April 7, 2004

foldershare lets you create your own p2p network - share files, use it like a vpn, whatever. windows only. looks fun.

death dreams

April 7, 2004

dreaming of death ≠ dying

sexy amazon

April 6, 2004 has a secret sex shop (i dont have to mention that its probably nsfw, right?).
i love how all the vibrators are pictured with daisys.


April 6, 2004

that was a highly productive two hours.

can you tell me how to get

April 6, 2004

T is for trivia, G is for grouch.
its a sesame street trivia game!

and its pretty hard, too. im a bit embarassed at how bad i did - the questions like 'which muppet was created to look like person B?' is impossible to answer if you dont know who person B is. ya know?



April 6, 2004

so im being barricaded in my office this morning.
im being made to WORK.
not that i have to with my door closed and a curtain over my window.
but you know.
its weird.
no one is allowed to talk to me until after 11.30.

i just might take this opportunity to do some work.

mario reloaded

April 5, 2004

mario reloaded


before and after

April 5, 2004

i might want a subscription to before & after magazine.

attention grabber

April 5, 2004


typographical page layout

April 5, 2004

topographical page layout bookmarklet.

cake recipe

April 5, 2004

sushi cake - timely, since i made sushi rolls this weekend.
incidentally, new sagaya is the best place in alaska to buy fish for sushi.


April 5, 2004

speaking of math:

x e-quals neg-a-tive b
plus or minus the squaaaare root
of b squared minus fouuur a c
all ov-er twooo a

sung to the tune of pop! goes the weasel.

how my algebra teacher taught us the quadratic equation.

did you learn it musically?


April 5, 2004

3:10 am
plus not turning my alarm on
8:07 am

math is too hard on this little sleep.


April 3, 2004

typophile has all sorts of typeface goodies to play with and learn from and collaborate on.


so simple, yet

April 3, 2004

something so simple as reinstalling trillian.
easy-peasy, right?
quick download (thanks forever go to broadband).
quick installation.
set everything to 'connect at start up'.
next. next. next. okay. connect.

do you understand?
can you even?
something so simple, and i burst into tears.


its melissa, you see.

yes, dear God, yes! i want her to see my online status. i want to see her online. i want to chat with her monosylabic responses. i want her to ignore me for twenty minute stretches where she goes into the other room to watch a movie. i want her to bitch and moan about whatever loser boyfriend she has this week.

do i want her back?
what a stupid question.
yet the answer still does not make any difference.


April 2, 2004

whats the percentage of people, you think, involved in a long-term relationship with someone who has a comperable libido to their own?

speak n spell it

April 2, 2004

speak n spell emulator.
ahh... brings back memories. of one long road trip home from anchorage in the middle of the night, in particular.

my speak n spell's batteries were near the end of their life - and no surprise since i had played with the thing for the four hour trip to anchorage, and all during the weekend in anchorage.

the low batteries caused the speak n spell man to slur his words at first, and then later the words on screen an spoken no longer resembled english. my wonderful brother (not that one) convinced me that aliens were trying to communicate to me through my speak n spell.

he had me so frightened as he 'interpreted' the alien-speak: their home planet had a shortage of little girls, and they had come to take me back with them. they liked to suck brains from human skulls, and little girl brains were so sweet and tender.

i have never let the batteries run down that low on any toy since.

day in the life

April 2, 2004

this weeks a day in the life features photographer margaret fitzpatrick from antarctica. the pictures are great. go look at them.


April 2, 2004

the only thing i got duped by yesterday is googles new gmail.
i was 98% sure it was a hoax.
and its not.
heres a screenshot.

open mouth.
insert foot.

vacation tally

April 1, 2004

things i miss from my vacation:

  • fresh blueberry muffins from scratch made just for me
  • puppies surrounding my dog to look for places to suckle
  • the pile of cds we hadnt listened to in forever
  • discovering the neon hugs curves like a perfect bra
  • the ocean from the bow of a kenai fjords tour boat we snuck on
  • not having to think about whats for dinner
things i dont miss from my vacation:
  • numb-butt syndrome from 10 hour car rides
  • dualing "Me me me me me me" conversations
  • the dog vomiting on the car uphostry three times
  • the sound of a childs wet vomit hitting the carpet near my sleeping head at 7.30a
  • roomates yelling in the hallway about my sweet lacey


April 1, 2004

my blindingly yellow office.

foolish mortals

April 1, 2004

for those of you not keeping track at home, steveo is getting elopified, jr is turning into steveo, homestar runner has pudding, mezzoblue is stop design and vice versa.

theres some more thorough lists at and

ha ha.
and i can be proud that i havent been fooled by one yet this year.

spread the love

April 1, 2004

its my brothers birthday today.
go show him the love.

Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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