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July 2004 Archives

jogging: day 3

July 31, 2004

morning number three in the jogging excursion has gone well, which is surprising because IT IS SATURDAY and i should really be in bed.

i can already tell that my body is getting used to this thing some call 'excersise' and i call 'unneccessary movement'.

i dont feel like im going to die, nor do i feel like i need to vomit. my vastus medialis (the quad muscle right on the inside of the knee [yes, i looked that up]) is about to vote itself off this island.

i see these as very good signs.


July 30, 2004

i just got the go ahead to come up with (and buy) the perfect computer for all my work- (and non-work-) realted needs. i am very excited about this, and dont even know where to start looking - online or with our local computer guys. too bad i threw away a ton of computer catalogs just last week.

have i told you lately that i love you

July 30, 2004

have i mentioned lately how much i love my internet family?

because you guys are beautiful.
choco chip cookies for everyone.

save me

July 29, 2004

the creepy client who has been hanging around the office waaay to much lately is presently sitting outside my office window (the inside reception may-i-help-you window) talking to me every 45 seconds.

everyone put their palms together and will the boss to come out of his meeting to save me from Creepy Client.

shes in there

July 29, 2004

last night i announced to my husband and my dog and the world that i would be getting up a whole half hour earlier than usual in order to go for a jog.

his most appropriate response?
'where is my wife and what have you done to her?'

i will tell you where she is.
she is hidden under layers and layers of blubber.

she hid herself away when her sister died and she couldnt handle living alone in a world that could take away the person she loved the most. so she packed on the quickest armor she could find and has been surviving - but only just - under that armor.

shedding the armor will be much more difficult and time-consuming than putting it on, but i think she is ready for the fight. she is tired of being hidden and now longs to breathe fresh air.

but rest assured, she is still in there.

black and white

July 28, 2004 soliciting techniques on converting digital photos to black and white. im pretty partial on the channel mixer, myself.


July 28, 2004

my computer at work doesnt want to recognize the internet even though it can see the server and all other intranet-type goodness, and even though all of the other stations on the network can see the internet.

thus i am internet-less unless i can sneak on my supervisors computer while she is out of the office (like now).

mean while, anyone want to tell me why my computer doesnt want to browse the internet or connect to the email servers?

golden days

July 27, 2004

this is the first year that i have attended any of the golden days events. the street fair was... well, exactly like the solstice street fair, only with more food. but the parade was a lot of fun.

check out my golden days parade album.

donnie darko

July 26, 2004

what the hell happened?
cliffs notes and other relevant questions about donnie darko.

i adored this movie and cannot wait to see the directors cut.


July 26, 2004

there is nothing like the rhythmic pounding of a flagpole rope slapping against the flagpole for thirty minutes straight when i havent been awake for even an hour yet.

happiness is

July 25, 2004

happiness is a tickle fight and an one hour family nap.

no, really

July 23, 2004

sometimes you really should not hang out with old high school buddies.

logo bashing

July 23, 2004

corporate logos made into profanities

and dodge ram = uterus

ive been giggling for the past fifteen minutes about those.
and i doubt they will be getting old any time soon.

moms house album

July 23, 2004

i put up an album of the pictures i took at my mothers home. i love my mom.


July 23, 2004

let the rain come
wash over me
let the rain come
purify my soul
let the rain come
falling from on high
let the rain come
and make me whole

the rain started around 9 last night and is still coming down. over twelve consecutive hours of rain so far. more than we have had in weeks. months.

this can only be good news for the fires.

one more soul

July 22, 2004

i recently convinced one of my sisters-in-law to give her soul over to the almighty blog.

lady bossco is her name, and she doesnt take crap from anyone.


July 22, 2004

its amazing how much tidying up one can do on an hour lunch break when one is under pressure.

the ie hack to end all ie hacks

July 21, 2004

jr found a spiffy little gem on the webmasterworld forums that will (supposedly) negate the need for hundreds of ie hacks in your css toolbox.

it all comes down to adding 'display:inline' to offending floats and 'display:inline-block' to offending parent containers. the little i have played around with it, it seems to do the trick on all the ie css bugs:.

the only problem i see with using 'display:inline-block' is that, well, its not a valid css property. so if your value as a human being rests on having your site valid xhtml strict and valid css, then you should probably not use it.

this article needs to get published in a more public venue and get a ton of attention.

i somehow doubt my site and the ink stained banana is going to generate that attention.

what a view

July 21, 2004

the view from my mothers house;
the view with which i grew up;
the view i still miss.

potted woes

July 20, 2004

i took a clipping of one of my mothers plants while i was in homer and potted it so that i could bring it home with me.

i just realized that i left it at her house.
in homer.
draining in the laundry room sink.

how can i ship a newly potted clipping 600 miles?
maybe this is the excuse my brother needs to come visit fairbanks.

travelling buddy

July 20, 2004

when i am on a long road trip, i will sometimes collect a travelling buddy.

this is someone who is [a] a complete stranger, [b] going in the same direction (and usually to the same destination), and [c] going close enough to my speed of choice.

on a long trip through highly un-populated landscapes, i develop an emotional attachment to my travelling buddy.

if s/he fails to pass a vehicle that i just zoomed around, i become worried about losing them. i cheer them on when approaching a passing zone. if they pull off at a rest stop, i consider (but rarely do) pulling off as well so as to not lose them. if we do happen to stop at the same place, i wonder how appropriate it would be for me to make small talk and express my relief of having them with me - i dont want them to think me a freak stalker and leave without me.

at first i thought that i was alone in adopting traveling buddies, but my sister-in-law in anchorage said that she does the same thing.

so now i wonder, is it a female need to become emotionally attached to anonymous drivers while on long road trips? do males have a similar response? how about you?

happy blood all over day

July 20, 2004
...tonight you're going to present all of this to your husband so he'll understand that he risks being raped in prison for the rest of his life if he doesn't cut his fucking toenails. Jesus.

totally fucking awesome

July 20, 2004

totally fucking awesome

back from the road trip

July 19, 2004

for every zippy litttle driver on alaskan highways who wants to go 10-15 miles over the speed limit (raises hand), there will invariably be:

  • 15 people with good intentions of speeding but do not have/use cruise control, so they osscillate between 5 miles under and 10 miles over the speed limit
  • 75 senior citizen tourists driving huge white and tan road barns towing three suvs and two boats each
  • 5 semis and large trucks that haul ass until confronted by a hill
  • 20 tourists driving regular non-barn vehicles who guess (incorrectly) at the legal speed limit
  • 100 drivers who hug the center line approaching and during passing zones
  • 10 drivers who speed delightfully through passing zones, then slow to a crawl to brave horrid alaskan corners
  • one driver who will try to kill me
i havent yet determined where the neons governor is, but i sure do know that its above 105.

im leaving first thing in

July 15, 2004

im leaving first thing in the morning.
the boy is even going in to work late to make sure i get out of town safely and dont fall back asleep the moment i turn off my alarm.

i need to teach lacey how to drive so that we can take turns driving to homer.

free birthday meal

July 15, 2004

cheap stingy bastard has a list of restaurants that will give you a free meal on your birthday.

i can see only seven restaurants that have a location in the state of alaska (applebees, benihanas, chilis, red lobster, taco bell, tony romas, and wendys), and only two of those have a location in fairbanks (taco bell and wendys).

alaska gets screwed again.

summer reading list

July 15, 2004

since everyone is posting their summer reading list, i thought id post mine, as well. but its long, so beware.


sour skittles

July 14, 2004

sour skittles are guaranteed 25% more fun than regular skittles.

however, i would suggest not licking your finger, dipping it into the little pile of white powder at the bottom of the bag, and licking it clean.

lots of pain.

no satisfaction

July 14, 2004

after nearly a week of smoke-free life, the stuff rolled back into town for a bit today. and again its unbearably hot.

i cant get no

wrong math

July 14, 2004

maybe my math is wrong, but if i print 500 of the outside page one day, then 1330 of the outside page the next day, and then 1830 of the inside page the day after, how can i end up with around 500 orphaned inside pages?

and who stole the xerox toner cartridge box?


July 14, 2004

the nights where you need the most sleep will invariably be the nights where you get the least amount of sleep.



July 12, 2004

i just recorded my 300th dream.
its about being angry with b.

four pickles

July 12, 2004

SubWay Worker: what else would you like on your ham sandwich?
Lady In Front Of Me: nothing.
SWW: nothing?
LIFOM: nothing.
SWW: no veggies? no mayonaise or mustard?
LIFOM: welllllll.... four pickles.
SWW: four pickes?
LIFOM: yes, four pickles.
SWW: and thats all?
LIFOM: yes.
SWW: four pickles.
LIFOM: four pickles.

to the sea

July 12, 2004

which reminds me.

im going to homer this weekend to goof off with my brother and offer up emotional support by way of licorice ropes, glacier milkshakes, jumping in the ocean, and illegal activity.

im driving with the dog and a stolen cell phone from work.

i will drive from fairbanks to homer on friday with stops only to empty bladders, fill tummies, and fill gas tanks. a lovely 10 hours of driving (alone) never hurt anybody, right?

at least the trip back north will be broken up with a night spent at my brothers in anchorage.

im getting to be a pro at this driving alone thing.

tide tables

July 11, 2004

having not lived anywhere close to the ocean for a few years, i no longer have tide books in my cars.

but yay for teh intarweb: seldovia tide tables!

no great mid-afteroon low tides this weekend; those are the best for swimming. but late night ones can be fun, too, especially if there arent any clouds in the sky.


July 10, 2004

a friend was supposed to call me before 10am and then i was going to meet her and her sister at their church to paint vbs decorations. here it is past noon and i havent heard a thing from either of them.

ive spent the past 2.5 hours diddling about online and in the apartment, trying to not become too wrapped up in anything in case she called.

did you know im result #4 in a google search for honda shadow sabre?

the rss blues

July 10, 2004

im not really understanding these mt rss templates.
i know what i want it to look like in the aggregator, but i dont know how to go about doing that with the template.

but then, is each aggregator so different that it doesnt matter how i format the template?

moms zucchini bread

July 9, 2004

when there is jack-all to do online,
and jack-all to talk about with the few souls online,
and jack-all the husband wants to do,

we bake!


tell me

July 9, 2004

somebody told me...

mozilla exploit

July 8, 2004

mozilla has an exploited vulnerability.
but at least theres a fix for it.

ive recently wondered if the reason there are so many exploits to the internet explorer browser was because it is so popular and wide-spread.

with mozilla on the rise, will we see more vulnerabilities be exploited?


another newlsetter rant

July 8, 2004

i love how the newsletter process is dragged out so long that there is only a one week break between mailing one out and gathering content (read: pulling teeth and threatening bodily harm) for the next one.

yes indeed.

move em on head em up

July 7, 2004

how does she always get rawhide in her eyebrow?


July 7, 2004

people are intrinsically slobs.
yes, even good, christian people.
yes, even the good, christian people i work with.


it is i

July 7, 2004

it is i, captain vegetable
with my carrots and my celery

puppy update

July 7, 2004

an update on the puppy:

the tenant came home around noon on sunday. all day we saw the dog following her and her posse around; we made sure to give the appropriate glares and 'you are an evil person' vibes.

monday night we heard him crying again, but it didnt last long.

last night when we got home from work, the landlord was cleaning the upstairs apartment. they moved out.

i want to keep that puppy.


July 6, 2004

my brother is in anchorage right now.
he is six hours away in a car, one hour away in a plane, a week away in a dog sled.

why am i still in fairbanks?

thank you

July 5, 2004

thank you for overreacting to the smallest things.
thank you for often being angry.
thank you for making me feel like shit for asking a favor.

also right now

July 4, 2004

also right now:

one of the people in an upstairs apartment is (i think) moving out; i saw her carrying boxes of stuff to various vehicles. b and i havent seen her or the group that often accompany her since friday night.

but there is this puppy.
he is in the apartment upstairs, and he has been crying since last night.

i know which puppy it is, because i saw him thursday night when i was tending to my herbs. he was floppy-moppy and wanted to climb into my flower beds and my lap. a sweet mutt of a dog.

lacey has been unable to sleep - she is just as concerned as b and i are.

b tried shoving some puppy food under the door, and the dog ate some of it.

he then tried to pop the lock with his thin library card, only to find that it is deadbolted as well.

ive called our landlords and left a message saying how concerned we are.

there is nothing more we can do.
nothing except listen to his sad howls and die a little inside.

right now

July 4, 2004

right now: sunshine.
the smoke is dissipating.

later: blue skies! holy cow!
sing me some irving berlin.


July 3, 2004

i just deleted 535 spamalicious comments from melissas site.

i happened to hop online just as the creep was inundating the site with whatever Spam-Ball Software is the in thing. i know this because comments were being posted faster than i could delete them.

a simple rename of the comment cgi file quickly thwarted the spammers current efforts.

the comment link now points to the individual entry page instead of directly to the .cgi file... this should make it slightly more difficult for spammers to find its name.

and the comments no longer link to a commenters website. in fact, i removed the website field entirely. im still requiring an email address to post comments in case i need to get ahold of a particular commenter.

good grief.


July 3, 2004

when going for a ride on a motorcycle, it is imperative that people with hair over 30 inches in length braid their hair into an attractive rope at the base of their scalp.

otherwise, the wind will snag it into One Nasty MoFo™ that will take no less than 30 minutes to comb out.

it will bring up memories of week-long fishing boat excursions where the hair is coated with a perfected concoction of salt water, jelly fish slime, and salmon scales; mothers combing through such concoctions caused many tears and squeals of pain from the owner of the hair, as well as laughter from that persons brothers.

braids are our friends.

boundary fire map

July 2, 2004

boundary fire map - at least its not moving south currently.

dont hate me

July 2, 2004

in celebration of my 3rd blog anniversary (i refuse to call it my blogiversary because i dont want to sound like a twat) and my 2000th comment (rah!) i give you a new layout.

be glad you dont know how close i was to tagging this design with 'HAS VEGETABLE SALTY.' but then, thats what i get for brainstorming these things with my brother at three in the morning. maybe next layout (crosses fingers).

so whats new? whats different? whats improved? why does it cost more?
well, let me tell you.

  • on the surface, the first most obvious thing is that i am displaying the five recent thumbnails from my photolog. it gets my pictures to a wider audience, and i am proud of them. i promise pictures of my dog will be sporadic.
  • the next most obvious thing is the linklog, rhapsodic fragments, with comments and everything.
under the surface, though, is where it gets exciting.
  • everything is in php now. so if you linked to, please change it to point to or simply
  • its all floated pretty pretty around, and let me tell you, floats are the spawn of satan. seriously.
  • entries now have their own rooms; no more sharing and dividing living space. this also eliminates that stupid popup. and each comment has a permalink.
  • i made the permalinks to each entry the current IN way, with their titles and all. which means i have to remember to fill in the title field when making a post.... rrr. and it also means that past permalinks were far less than permanent, and are broken. oh well.
  • oh, and the about pages have been combined into one because who really wants to read pages of crap about me and my domain?
i did this whole thing over the span of a few days (not the design, but its implementation), so i could very well be missing something. if you notice anything that looks like the old layout or goes to a pretty stop-light-404, please let me know.


July 2, 2004

will someone please tell me how in the world i am supposed to breathe through a dust mask without my breath fogging up my glasses?


July 1, 2004

this is what the ash on my car looks like.


July 1, 2004


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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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