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September 2004 Archives

how to not do business

September 30, 2004

back in may i was looking to get some new bras. the local stores (all three of them) did not have the brand/style i wanted in my size, so i decided to order them online. you can order anything online.

i did a search for the brand and style number i wanted and found many places that not only carried it in my size. many site declared that style was not currently in stock.

i also found it at her room through they claimed to have it in stock, so i immediately ordered two different colors and forgot about it. which turned out to be dangerous.


first snow storm

September 28, 2004

we had a miniature blizzard for all of 60 seconds last night that left me humming 'winter wonderland' all night long.

this weekend i was certain the snow would not stick, but it must be bound and determined to stay for a while. i would choose breathing ice fog over heavy smoke any day.

the bassist has my heart

September 27, 2004

they make me happy

  • drag queen movies
  • ice water on a cold morning
  • the smell of vanilla nut cream coffee grounds
  • seeing Matt Ridenour in concert last night, and concluding that upright bassists are just as hott - if not hottter - than bass guitarists.

i have proof

September 27, 2004

told you.

jiggle it

September 25, 2004

as joat nicely pointed out, i am #1 in a google search for jiggle inseam.

and apparently no one got the reference, so i am withholding all of my gold stars.


September 25, 2004

it is snowing.
right now.
no denying any more.
its winter.

things to not tell your mother

September 24, 2004

Things To Not Tell Your Mother

  • youre not taking your vitamins
  • who at school has the best drugs
  • you havent gotten a flu shot this season
  • anything using the word 'horny'
  • the huge bruise from when you were hit by a car still hurts and is sortakinda numb

six sucky things about yesterday

September 23, 2004

yesterday was pretty sucky, but not for reasons one might think.

first sucky thing: i had to work. well, at least i thought i had to work. there was a huge miscommunication when asking for the day off where i thought i had to come in and my supervisor thought i wasnt going to come in.

second sucky thing: B needed new carhearts, and one of the two workwear stores in town was having a huge sale on carhearts from 6-10pm last night. so i spent over an hour telling B that yes, he has to try it on, and threatening to jiggle his inseam (gold star to whoever gets that reference).

third sucky thing: the homeless man who made a huge scene at subway while we were trying to get some food. plus, he smelled. and then the cops didnt show up until we were pulling out of the parking lot and we missed the action. so that should count for two sucky things.

fifth sucky thing: by the time we got out to Chena Lakes, it was too dark to take any pictures, and just dark enough to lose my equilibrium while standing on the floating docks throwing stolen traffic cones.

sixth sucky thing: the car started smelling funny and B used a lot of curse words like 'transmission' and 'so far from town.' then we discovered it was his jacket that smelled like antifreeze, not the cars interior.

two years

September 22, 2004

she has been in my dreams a lot lately. she is in trouble and i cannot help her. i try and try and try again, but i cannot get her the help she needs. she never talks or communicates with me like she did right after her death, she just stands, sits, or bleeds. in trouble.

i dont like feeling helpless. and there i was, two years ago, feeling the most helpless one could ever feel. not only could i do nothing, but nothing could possibly be done.

two years.

it has taken two years for me to start the healing process. two years to begin letting myself heal. two years to accept that she really is gone. two years to begin shedding my emotional armor. two years, and i am ready to stop needing her to be there for me, to stop needing to be there for her.

two years, and i still miss Melissa more than ever.

dear alaskan drivers

September 20, 2004

Dear Alaskan drivers,

I know that this is Alaska. I have lived here all of my 23 years of life. I know that it is nigh-unthinkable to live in this state without a vehicle to call your very own. I know that public transportation is a joke.

I know that Alaska is a very large state. The largest, in fact, yet with the smallest per-state-population. I know how everything is spread so very far out that using feet as your only mode of transportation is not only silly, but completely unreasonable.

I know if you even consider walking to the corner Quick-E-Mart on a winter evening, you may get halfway before your eyelashes freeze to your eyeball and you sleep that perfect, everlasting sleep. I know. I have felt it.

But that does not mean that everyone drives any and everywhere they need to go. Some people take walks. Some people ride bikes. Sometimes for leisure, sometimes for necessity. Sometimes around the block, sometimes to the other side of town for some milk.

Crazy, I know, but Alaska wouldn't be what it was if it weren't for these crazies.

Now the next time you don't remember that you share the city and state with other vehicles, miscellaneous fauna, and, yes, even people not surrounded by two tons of steel, you might just run into or over another human.

And we will not feel sorry when the next thing you hit is a bull moose that totals your precious H2.

Hoping your pipes don't freeze,


September 20, 2004

red/black/white striped shirt: check
extra long bandana on head: check
boots: check
sea legs: check
gold hoop earring: check
black nails and eyes: check
rough accent: check
handfull of black spots: check

we are celebrating talk like a pirate day today at work. i even bribed them with a prize for the best pirate. and i appear to have been the only one who remembered. if i knew i was going to win, i would have bought a better prize.

ill make 'em walk the plank, the whole lot of 'em. i ain't be sharin' me gold with a bunch of scurvy bilge rats.

addendum: not one land lubber knows what te black spot be. hang 'em from the yardarm!

talk like a pirate

September 19, 2004

rap like a pirate.
riddle like a pirate.

very good

September 17, 2004

from a feedback questionnaire created and writen by someone in a completely different company, emailed to me for printing purposes:

I learned material that will be helpful to me in better performing community collaboration
__Poor __Fair __Good __Very Good __Excellent

right. perfectly clear.

confused incompetent and stupid

September 17, 2004

talking to the insurance company makes me feel like a 10 year old child who cannot even tie her shoes on the first day of school even though everyone else knows that velcro is the IN thing to be wearing. confused, incompetent, and stupid. makes me want to cry.

speedy delivery

September 16, 2004

i love the way my ups delivery man calls me by my last name every time he comes by the office.

now i have to convince him to sing speedy delivery, and my day would be perfect.


September 16, 2004

it rubs the lotion on its skin
or else it gets the hose again
yes, precious, it gets the hose

it puts the lotion in the basket (qt video, nsfw)

mom's cranberry tea

September 15, 2004

with b and i both sick over the course of the past few weeks, we have had a near-endless supply of my mother's crandberry tea brewing on the stove. it is one of the only hot beverages that we will both drink that does not have any caffein, plus it has a ton of vitamins and yumminess.

her tea is one of those childhood traditions that, when altered, throws my entire reason for living into serious question. like the orange recliner chair that she HAD TO SELL at the garage sale.

my mom brewes this tea in a glass percolating coffee pot during the coldest months of winter. she has done so every winter i can remember and must continue to do so until the day she dies. for my sanity.

with the days getting shorter and sunset happening well before midnight, and with the smell of cranberry tea in the kitchen, my senses have been thrown off kilter.

i am humming christmas carols and am excited to wrap gifts.

though a bit early is better than never getting into the spirit at all, right?


four random thoughts

September 14, 2004
  • if your are going to be spending more than five minutes outside, it is now the season for wearing gloves. and socks.
  • how interesting would it be if i included a temperature thingy on the site? interesting in the, 'wow, its forty below zero and Valette hasnt died yet' kind of way? or interesting in the, 'Valette is succombing to the love of animated gifs' kind of way?
  • animal crackers do not taste the same when they come out of a bag. they must must must come from a little cardboard box with a string handle.
  • its not every day that one finds a severed limb in their sugar canister without warning.


September 13, 2004

dereks monday bug reminds me so much of my childhood dog Chilly.

she was a black chihuahua mix that my sister and i found running through traffic one garage sale saturday when we were very young. she was the tiniest puppy we had ever seen; we named her Tiny.

not long after we fell in love with her my mom found her owner and, through many tears, we let her go. a year or so later we got her back with her new name: Chilly.

Chilly could never get warm enough. she would burrow her way to the bottom of the tallest stack of blankets sitting on the waterbed. she would lay directly in front of the heater vent for hours. during the summer, she would sprawl out on the cement porch directly in the sun.

she could hardly open her eyes and her tongue hung down to the ground, but that was how she was happiest.

i would often lie down in front of the heater with her and often fell asleep. she never was very happy about sharing the heater.

every time i see a dog panting in the sun, i think of Chilly. every time i want to lie in front of a heater vent, i think of Chilly. every time Lacey cannot get her nose under the covers to make her way to the bottom, i think of Chilly.

she died in the spring of 2000 while i was at college. she died lying directly in front of that heater vent. i know she had died hot, and i know she had died happy.

flying frisbee

September 10, 2004

flying frisbee puppy dog

flying frisbee puppy dogs.
the best way to kick off the weekend.



September 9, 2004

perhaps my body is trying to make up for the 102 hours i slept during the past five days while sick: the past few nights have found me unable to fall asleep before midnight, and sometimes not until after 2. what is up with that?

chain gang

September 9, 2004

i am back at work today, but moving in slow motion. not the cool kind of slow motion with sound effects and theme music, but the shuffling kind of slow motion most often associated with the elderly.

but look on the bright side: ive traded in coughing, sniffling, and moaning for coughing and shuffling.
i dont have to watch any more daytime television.
and i get to sit up straight.

the glass is half full, my friend.

saline wash

September 8, 2004

nasal and sinus saline washes.
you know you want to try it.

full of hate

September 8, 2004

i hate my couch.
i hate my waterbed.
i hate my lungs.
i hate my throat.
i hate my sinuses.
i hate my raw nose.
i hate my headache,
i hate being sick.

letter of the day

September 7, 2004

prairie dawn, sweetie, you know that cookie monster is going to eat the letter of the day just like he did yesterday. just because todays letter is A does not mean he has gained any self-control since yesterdays letter, T.

i dont even know why you try anymore.


September 6, 2004

at least ive had something to do this weekend: battle this awful cold.

it started in my throat like it always does, progressed to coughing, and is now sitting in my sinuses like a gigantic balloon slowly being filled with rocks.

at any moment my eyes will pop out of their sockets and my brain will be crushed.

at least then there will be sweet, sweet relief.

threes company

September 4, 2004

1// apparently my left ankle is the ankle i sit on all the time. at work, at home, that is the ankle that goes underneath me. im having to retrain my whole body to sit properly.

2// saying, "i was hit by a car" sounds much more serious than it feels. im glad my brain is still lessening the severity of the accident for coping purposes because, holy crap - i was hit by a car.

3// there is frost on the motorcycle cover this morning. frost. my garden cannot wait until monday; i will have to harvest today.


September 3, 2004

if four different people told you, "make sure you tell Valette she is invited," wouldnt you, oh i dont know, tell Valette that she was invited?

so it looks like i have an evening to myself.
someone think of something for me to do.
better yet, come entertain me.


September 3, 2004

some nice semi packed very high drove down the road this morning around 8 and snapped the cable line into the office building.

so i have no internet at work until the cable company can fix it.
who knows how long that will be.

bike-0, car-1

September 3, 2004

on my bike ride home from work last night, a woman driving a white four-door sedan failed to stop at a stop sign, causing her to run into my bicycle and left leg.

i am okay.

i have a large bruise on each side of my ankle, and a nice scrape on my knee. but considering it was car vs out-of-shape-girl-on-purple-bike, it could have been much worse.

my bike wasnt so lucky.

with my bike wedged nicely under the car and me walking around shaking from shock, the woman proceeded to assure me how this wasnt her fault, how it was a blind corner, and how i came out of nowhere. then she tried to hug me.

you just hit me with your car, and now you want to comfort me? i think not.

a taxi driver saw it happen and called her dispatch who, in turn, called emergency. a woman stopped not much later who turned out to be an RN. she gave me a hug and prayed over me. i really liked her and was sad when she left.

a police car, ambulance, fire truck, and the fire chief all showed up and made me feel very important. my EMT's name was Fred.

i got an ice pack for my ankle and knee, and then the fire chief told the EMTs to give me and my broken bike a ride home - something, apparently, they arent usually allowed to do.

i just got off the phone with her insurance company; hopefully they will replace my bike.

addendum: the adjuster got in touch with the lady in the car and verified my claim. an insurange person is going to look at the bike on tuesday or wednesday and, it sounded like, will cut me a check then. this is happening much faster than i thought it would. yay!

it does matter

September 2, 2004

someone just donated a 19 inch monitor that i immediately claimed. i told the boss that if i needed to, i would urinate a circle around it and thus mark my territory. now all i need is one more 19 incher and i will be the happiest admin assistant evar.

the 1280 pixel world is very, very nice.
and some people say size doesnt matter.

addendum: my photolog looks rather puny at this resolution. perhaps its time to hit, oh, 650px?

care package

September 2, 2004

super nintendo games,
used book store credit,
and conditioner.

thats what i call a care package.

bed-3, bike-0

September 2, 2004

i have been having problems getting out of bed in the mornings this week. i can hardly get up in time to shower and get to work, let alone go for a bike ride or long walk with the dog.

my alarm, sitting at the other side of the room, goes off at 7. i get up, turn it off, stand in the middle of the bedroom for a few seconds while the dog blinks at me like, "you must be crazy - its not even sunny outside." so i crawl back under the covers and curl around her tiny body of heat and dream of old high school friends.

what makes this very not okay is that i often forget to do my 15-20 minutes of exercise in the evenings. yes, there have been a few days this week where i have not ridden my bike or walked the dog further than the back yard.

i need some sort of bigger incentive.

three days

September 1, 2004

i just found out that labor day is on monday, giving me a three day weekend.

what to do?

Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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