rhapsodic.org

a week in the life of newsletter season

so this is pretty much how the last seven ten days of my life has gone (notice three things missing from those entire ten days: [1] kiss my husband, [2] play with the dog, and [3] take pictures. i plan on doing all three tonight. may God have mercy on the person who gets in my way.):

saturday the 20th
find the xerox has printed only selected stripes of the newsletter on 500 11"x17" pieces of paper. in the process of trying to remove the faulty cartridge, break its handle cleanly off and get the thing lodged in the copier. curse loudly because all of my coworkers are sane enough to avoid the office on the weekends, throw my hands in the air and leave the machine in disarray.

sunday the 21st
grumble over the entire newsletter and determine that the bugger really is stuck in the machine quiet nicely. call support and have them come in first thing monday morning.

monday the 22nd
show up with the boss claiming that he attached the toner handle again and everything works as it should. send support technician away. find that the copier really is printing fine unless i want to print more than 10 pages at a time. declare war on xerox. replace the toner that is magically un-stuck. machine fold 4000 pieces of paper.

tuesday the 23rd
coordinated volunteers come in and assemble. cross fingers. pray, 'your will be done,' but really mean, 'if this thing isnt mailed by wednesday, im never doing this again.' assemble. insert. fold. try to figure out why we have 466 outside pages more than inside pages. hope against all hope that i will not need to print more. tidy up the apartment. pick up the skinny and beautiful sister-in-law from the airport.

wednesday the 24th
print 466 more of the inside page. assemble, insert, fold, label. pull out hair. repeat. plan to take the whole thing to the post office by 3 so that i can go home early, but dont get it there until 5:30, pulling in more overtime. get home late and bake like the dickens. if the dickens baked, that is.

thursday the 25th
get the turkey dinner on the table (figuratively, of course, since we do not actually have room for a dining table) only five minutes later than i said i would. wow my husband and my guests. somehow shove the whole shebang back into the refrigerator and go watch alexander. cry when the horse died. dammit. stuff pillows and watch movies until early morning.

friday the 26th
shop with the masses and search for any swimsuit that somewhat fits my gorgeous and skinny sister-in-law (see below). spend the evening being slowly boiled like a frog in the chena hot springs. stuff pillows and watch movies until early morning.

saturday the 27th
take the sister-in-law to the airport. laundry. dishes. take an actual nap where the dog drooled more than i did. stuff pillows until early morning. they are like the black pit of egypt, these pillows.

sunday the 28th
sleep through church. finish laundry and dishes. finish a book. play video games. do nothing much.

monday the 29th
newsletter, the aftermath. discover that there were 72 things i should have been doing in the previous week that got buried under the newsletter. attempt to find the color of my desk. revel in not doing the newsletter.