rhapsodic.org · weblog · like a tupperware party, only different

like a tupperware party, only different

last night i attended a sex toy party.

and while both my husband and the friend i invited initially thought it was a great joke, ha-ha-too-funny, there was indeed a sex toy party that i did indeed attend and did, indeed, enjoy.

at first i didnt understand what the purpose was behind direct-marketing sex toys: wouldnt people be more comfortable buying their sex toys like the rest of civilization? on the internet where their guilt and shame can be seen by only their solitary pet cat?

but i soon came to understand. the comfortable atmosphere of a friends house (whom i had never before met) and wine (which i did not drink) helped many women ask otherwise potentially embarrassing questions.

where does it go?
and how do you… oh. oh!
what does it feel like?
…how much is it?

the party was filled with things that glowed in the dark, things that tingled, things that tasted like toothpaste or cinnamon or raspberry or cotton candy, and things that took batteries.

and i apparently surprised at least one of the ladies i had just met by ‘how much i knew.’ i am a good christian wife, and good christian wives arent supposed to have any fun in the marriage bed. didnt you know that?

i sure shattered that perception, right quick and in a hurry. i turned everything the women said into an innuendo (and how could i not!?), and blurted out the obscene words the woman in charge kept trying to euphemise. call it like it is, i say.

this was a sex toy party, after all.

i may or may not have ordered anything, and i may or may not have won a door prize, an edible massage lotion that screams NOT FOR INTERNAL USE.

but the woman in charge of the party made sure to suggest that i have a similar party at my home and make sure to invite my mother. my mother!

could you even imagine my mother sitting in a rocking chair holding a glass of cranberry tea before a table replete with dildos and vibrators of every size, shape, animal likeness (why, by the way, would i ever want a dolphin or bunny or ELEPHANT down there?), and color known to man?

thanks to my mothers good training, i politely declined. and then, against my mothers good training, i snickered.

this was a sex toy party, after all.