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santa has a shipping budget

you want to know the reason why santa doesnt shop online?

shipping to the north pole is OUTRAGEOUS.

ups does not do ground shipping to alaska, so the only shipping options left are Stupefyingly Expensive and Stupefyingly Expensive Plus Your Arm, Leg, And Firstborn Child.

i would gladly fight an old lady for the last [insert gift of choice here] in a real live brick-and-mortar store (are they even made of brick any more?) in town than give up my arm and leg. my elbows are sharp, and im young: i can outrun and out power any grandma.

except maybe my mother, but she lives so far away that i do not have to worry about fighting her for the last [insert gift of choice here]. thank God.

03 DEC
2004

1 Love Notes

I just want to know why it's so damn expensive to ship in and out of Alaska, but Santa gets that humongous discount at the freaking north pole.

I mean, it's not even that solid anymore. The cargo ships probably just dump the stuff into the middle of the ocean as they steam through and let the elves swim for 'em.

You'd think that they'd just load up a few extra containers and drop them off on the way.

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