Ectopic Pregnancy
I have gone back and forth about whether to write about this here or not. At the moment of typing this, one could say that I have decided to tell my internet family, as it were. But really, I may not post it. Or I may wait a few more days and see if I swing back to the decision that I may not want you to know.
This post is about pain. Yes, that pain, the pain that caused me to actually see a doctor.
- March 7: Hormone levels detected. Pregnant, but probably ectopic.
- March 9: Hormone levels double. Pregnant, but with a burst ovarian cyst.
- March 12: Hormone levels plummet. Pregnant, but failing. Or, miscarriage.
- March 29: Hormone levels plateau, then slightly increase. Pregnant, but definitely ectopic.
Dealing with it involves either surgery or, if caught soon enough, a quick injection of methotrexate, a chemotherapy drug to stop the growth of the fetal cells. Which my body would reabsorb.
On Friday morning I picked up this vial of poison (which seems to be on perpetual shortage) from the hospital pharmacy: $18 ($2.36 after insurance). And they let me just walk out with it, didn't even check my ID. Chemotherapy, and I could have sold it on the black market. Or something.
Into the doctors' office and the nurse administered the shot to my hip. After a quick chat with the doctor, I was sent on my way. And so I have been nauseated and very, very tired off and on all weekend.
If my hormone levels don't return to zero by this Friday, I get another shot. If still not zero in another week, then maybe surgery.
This huge roller coaster has involved: over 35 days of bleeding; feet squirming from the pain that engulfed my ovary, hip, and knee; shock; tears; false hope; stress; very real letdowns; and a lot of holding B's hand.
I don't tell you all of this to gain your sympathy, nor do I tell you this to justify my lack of attention to the site.
I tell you because this isn't something of which to be ashamed.
2005
10 Love Notes
Even though your in our prayers I wish so much I could do something more. - Thinking of you and B, sending you both lots of love and hugs.
Thanks for letting me/us know. Was worried about you. My mom had an ectopic before me and they didn't catch it until she was is exploratory surgery. so sorry for the dashed hope.
Klondike Kate
Although sad, I'm happy that it sounds like things are under control.
Thanks for putting our minds and hearts to rest.
(even if you don't like my website anymore)
Please don't bleed to death. Or anything-else to death, for that matter.
Definitely not something to be ashamed of nor something to go through alone. Hugs.
I love you greatly and am praying for you!
Thinking and praying for you, and wishing you the best way out of this.
[I don't tell you all of this to gain your sympathy]
Nope, you tell us because we're your extended virtual digital circle of friends and, even if we don't care (which we do), having a place to get talk it out on your terms helps.
You're definitely in our thoughts, if not our prayers. Keep us updated.
words can not adequately express our love and concern. Most importantly, take care of yourself.
I'm feeling incredibly guilty for missing this entry. Don't know how I missed it, even went back in my archives to see if I had some crisis in April - but none :(
I know I'm late, but {{hugs}} to you.