To My Brothers
Memo
To: All of my good-for-nothing brothers
How dare you not do anything for Mom yesterday. You know, Mother's Day? The one day where you take your mother out for lunch or brunch and let her know that you aren't the completely selfish brat that I have tried convincing her that you are.
Instead of being treated all special-like on her day, she had to cook dinner for her and your father. Let me re-iterate: Mom. Had. To cook. On Mother's Day.
You can be sure that, had I been closer to Homer I would have done something special for her. Because of this, I am her favorite. There are even a few of you in Homer and yet you still did nothing for her.
The woman who labored for more than 100 combined hours to push us into this world through her vaginal cavity.
You should have done at least something for her, because now you probably have a mental image of her vaginal cavity. TAKE THAT.
And you're welcome.
3 Comments
Very well said... You Go Girl !! *snap, snap, snap*
Um, HEEELLOOOOOOOO! I totally did something for mom on Mother's Day so you can just take that snobby little attitude somewhere else thank you very much. Perhaps I didn't do what you would have done for her. And for that all I can say is <pbbbbbbbbbt>! Gosh, sister's these days...
Per our phone conversation:
Me: So what have you done today? Anyone do anything for you?
Mom: Nothing really.
Me: Nothing?
Mom: No.
Me: Guess I'm your favorite then, huh?
Mom: Always have been, dear.