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August 2005 Archives

Oh Golly a Meme

August 31, 2005

Five Blogs You Probably Don't Read But Really Should.
A Blog Day Meme.

Tag: .


August 30, 2005

Perhaps I should break my website again so I have something to talk about.

Instead of sabotaging Perl today, I have been cutting apart approximately three billion business cards by hand.

Because I do not trust any of the staff members to cut their own cards apart, I now have a blister on my right ring finger from my scissors. I hardly trust myself to cut them apart, which is why I am not using the paper cutter and why I now have a blister on my finger.

That's what I get for insisting the cards have full bleeds.

Birthday Love

August 29, 2005

Also I was apparently too busy being a Bad Daughter yesterday to publicly wish my mother a happy birthday, even though I did call her in the evening.

Everyone wish my mom a happy birthday yesterday, and give her a big hug. She likes those.

The Boys Are Back

August 29, 2005

MT 3.2 is now good to go.
I can resume with updating only every three days.

By way of apology, let me further my public embarrassment by linking to this awful picture of Melissa and me after being talked into something at the fair while we were in high school.

I need to be careful what I say about family now that they have their own public platforms.

Manual Stimulation

August 27, 2005

Yay for updates by hand!

Yep, everything over here is still schnockered. I have a fresh install with a squeaky clean database set up over here, but what a pain to move everything over to that install. And I highly prefer the method requiring the least amount of effort.

As for my father, he is back to his grumpy old self. Which means he will be fine! The plan was to cast him up and send him home today, and he will get to go back for some surgery! Metal rod included if you act within the next nine minutes! Also, his elbow is not broken as previously believed.

Motorcycle vs. Taxi

August 26, 2005

My father was in a motorcycle accident tonight.
He's okay, even though he wasn't wearing a helmet.

He was hit by a taxi that just didn't see him. Shattered the bones in his left shin as well as his left ankle. The doctors will know more when the swelling in his arm goes down.

He will have surgery tomorrow, get a metal rod in his leg. Which is as much as anyone knows right now.

I hate phone calls after 10pm.

Old Skool

August 26, 2005

"She sure is making a lot of updates now that everything is FUBAR," I can hear you thinking. Yeah, well.

One doesn't realize how completely and utterly dependant one becomes on something until it's looking at that bucket over there wondering if it has enough energy to kick it. One also doesn't realize how much work (work!) it is to update these things by hand, causing one to wonder why in the world she did it for so long back in the day.

How young and nubile and eager I was back then, willing to do amounts of work disproportionate to the amount of reward; not even my brother read my site back then.

Ramble ramble ramble. Still broken, whatever. This is, o1d $k0ol.


August 26, 2005

My installation is still Borked. No new photos, no new fragments, no new posts, no Valette entertainment. You will have to entertain yourselves.

Rebuild Errors

August 25, 2005

I upgraded to Movable Type 3.2 and now there are some rebuild errors, which you will notice if you try to leave a comment or post a new entry (though that is something I would want to do, not you [even if you did want to it's still my site and you would not be able to {so there}]). I don't know if I will be able to fix the errors tonight, in which case you can deal.

Bed Rest

August 25, 2005

I made BLTs last night and thought of Heidi.

I've told a story about my brother Marty, who is new to blogging, but I haven't told a story about my sister-in-law Heidi, who is also new to blogging. As the Blogging Matriarch of this family, I feel it my responsibility to embarrass them as much as possible.

When Heidi was pregnant with her third child, the doctors put her on bed rest immediately. She had had difficulties with her first two, and everyone was determined to make the third pregnancy go smoothly.

I was 16 that summer. I have no idea who suggested it or how it was decided, but my mom shoved me on a plane and I flew to Anchorage in order to spend a few summer months with her and my brother. I was to take care of the chil'en and keep that woman on her back.

There are plenty of memories that were made that summer, including how I backed over their mailbox with their car not once but twice, prompting my brother to reconstruct it so that now, if hit, it will merely swing around in a circle instead of falling over dead into the road.

And how I crunched their one and only remote control under the recliner, the Most Perfect Remote Control That Ever Lived. And how my brother had to stop the hallway clock because its infernal tick-tocking was driving me nuts. And how I became dependent on sweet and holy Nap Time.

But this is about Heidi, not me.

She was able to be at home, but she was supposed to be on the couch or on the bed AT ALL TIMES. How often do women on bed rest actually stay in bed or on the couch the whole time? Absolutely no one. Including Heidi.

I remember one specific incident where I was making BLTs for everyone's lunch. I stepped out the back door for two seconds to pick some lettuce leaves. Seriously, I was gone for two seconds. Maybe three. I came back inside, and Heidi and her belly were standing over the stove frying bacon.

We had the same conversation that we had probably five times a day: "Go sit down." "In a minute." "I mean it." "So do I." "Seriously, go lie down." "Okay." "Right now." "Just one second." "Come on." "Wait." "Now." "Just a bit."

Now every time I fry bacon, the sight of her belly dangerously close to hot grease and the sound of this argument runs through my head.


August 23, 2005

Everyone wants to be like me.

Smoke, smoke go away

August 22, 2005

This summer has been one long forest fire season, and I am sick of it.

Today is the first day in a long time that I can inhale deeply and not choke on all the smoke in the air. The sun periodically pokes through the clouds, and oh, the clouds. I can see them! It's amazing!


August 22, 2005

Attention People Of the World:

Please do not talk to me animatedly, or at all, for that matter, before 8.30a. I know my workday technically starts at 8.00a, but I preferred it when no other staff were in until 8.30a. If you chatter my head off the first half hour of the day, it only prolongs my Grumpy Head Time well into the morning as I try to recover. Remember the power I have over your computers. This is not a threat, but a friendly reminder.

Thank you.

All In the Family

August 19, 2005

Okay, another sister-in-law is blogging. She didn't even tell me, I had to hear about it from Lady Bossco. Now half of my 'elsewhere' blogroll is related to me through blood or marriage.

Just so long as everyone remembers I was the first in the family to have a blog, and I was IN THE NEWSPAPER and hawt chicks give me their panties for blogging, then all is good.

Dream of Sheep

August 19, 2005

My Dream Journal has new duds! And bling!

The archives are more helpful, as they look like the archives on my main blog.

I'm using a PHP Dynamic Text Replacement technique to get the spiffy headings in the font I wanted without having to create EVERY SINGLE IMAGE by hand.

While I have categorized my dreams into recurring themes since almost the beginning of this journal, it is only now that I am making these themes available for public browsing. Which is kind of scary because I know which category will be the most popular, but it's also a safe bet that no one really wants to read about someone else's dreams.

And I want to give props to for letting me steal their CSS for the Ghost In the Box hack. It's what makes the text scroll under the sheep in Internet Explorer.

That be the bling, here be the caveats:

The fancy text-replacement headings only work on the main index page and the archive listing page. I have no idea why the other pages aren't working, as I'm calling the Javascript file with an absolute URL. The PHP file is called relatively from the Javascript file, and the font file is called relatively from the PHP file. Which should work, n'est pas? And yet, it doesn't work. Neither does using absolute URLs for calling the PHP and font files.

On journal entries that belong in one or more theme, the "Themes:" line repeats itself. I can't figure out how to get it to display the Themes when an entry is assigned a category and have it display nothing when no category is assigned, as well as only display the line once.

There you have it. Let the stalking commence.

Prudhoe Man

August 19, 2005

If you haven't already, go take a look at my brother's new blog. This is a different brother than the one who steals all my content.

Are you confused yet? Prudhoe Man is married to Lady Bossco and is six years older than me. There are still two other brothers and their families that I haven't talked about. Not to mention cousins.

He was the baby of the family for six whole years, and then I came along. It's understandable that he would hate me growing up, and he took to hating me with a special kind of passion.

It was wonderful when he moved out because he stopped talking to me and stopped licking his thumb to rub on the lenses of my glasses. I hated that.

But now we're cool and he no longer rubs saliva on my glasses. He works up on the North Slope, on Prudhoe Bay. A few weeks on and a few weeks off.

He was into photography in high school, which is what sparked my interest in it. His wife made him start a blog and he is posting great pictures from the Slope.

Thirty Five

August 19, 2005

It was 35°F this morning.
38°F as of 7am, my site tells me.
Not quite freezing.
But it most likely dropped below freezing overnight.
The top of my car was frosted over.
Which means I need to harvest my garden... tonight.
It's not even September yet.

I may be fat, but I'm slow

August 16, 2005

I put on my helmet while he wound an ace bandage around his ankle. We had never ridden together, nor had he ridden a bicycle since we had married and his nice one was stolen.

When we go somewhere in the car, he drives. It's not a chauvinistic thing, perhaps a bit of a control thing, but that is how it has always been and I have no problem with him driving.

Which is why the bicycle ride started so oddly: he was going with me on my ride, and I was to set not only the direction, but also the pace.

Which is a scary thought.

I've never been athletic. I was last nearly every time in PE class; he was usually first. It is physically incapable for me to do a pull up; he can pull it up until the cows come home. I have no idea how many weights my body can push or pull; he got his name on The Wall for breaking all sorts of school records.

I may be fat, but I'm slow.

Give me an integral and I will calculate circles around him, but give me a baseball glove and I will trot waaaay outfield, pray the ball never comes close to me, and when it does (because it inevitably does) flinch and close my eyes and probably cry.

We cycled for a few miles, two maybe, around my 'usual' short route. He would shoot ahead of me and then fall behind, sweetly calling out when a car was behind us or in front of us, as though I could neither hear nor see them.

One of the reasons I love walking with him is because he pushes my pace much faster than I would ever do on my own, and the same is true for cycling. I kept pushing it and pushing it so that he would not think I coasted my bike everywhere. And then my legs fell off.

Always being last in school physical activities I became used to people pointing and laughing. When someone doesn't laugh but, instead, enjoys time spent doing physical activity with me, it makes an impact.

As I coasted back home dragging my legs behind me, I thanked him for not making fun of me and my slowness. I've thanked him for this before and he has never understood.

Meme Tag

August 15, 2005

I have been tagged twice (header graphic may be NSFW due to excessive crack) for a meme. Since I have no other content to share and don't want to get two sister-in-laws upset with me, I am going to impose upon my readership a meme! And you will love me for it!

10 Years Ago Today
I was 14, looking at entering high school. I was probably fretting over what would be considered THE perfect outfit in big, grown-up high school.

5 years Ago Today
I was 19, in Homer, and working for an ocean safety business supplying fishermen with certified life rafts, EPIRBs, and other safety equipment. My mother was forcing me to make last minute decisions for my wedding in December as I was to be at school for the three months prior to the wedding.

1 year ago today
I was a bit into my determined effort to lose weight through exercise. I had forsaken running due to shin splints for the less-impactness of bicycling. I was still a good two weeks from being hit by a car.

I went to church, saw The Dukes of Hazzard, got into a little tiff with B, and washed every dish we own because they were all dirty and yes I am a bad wife. On Saturday I called my mother, baked 6 loaves of zucchini bread, made pesto with basil from my garden, and made lasagna.

Work. Laundry. And... yeah.

As for the "5 things" lists at the bottom of this meme, I petered out. So you get to make them up for me if you wish.

Gaming Heart

August 11, 2005

I'm not ashamed to say that every gaming system other than the original Nintendo and the Super Nintendo has scared the crap out of me. My amount of shame is so minuscule I have to mention it time and time again.

I could never quite figure out the games for any of the Sega consoles, nor the controls for any of the newer systems. I spent many minutes in games for the Nintendo 64, Playstation, Playstation 2, Game Cube, and Xbox where I could not stop staring at my feet and going in circles simultaneously.

But there was one night last fall when I was pretty sick to my stomach and could not stay asleep in bed any longer. I got out of bed at 3am and, finding no one online, hopped on the Xbox. I played Prince of Persia well into lunch. I was staying alive! I was having fun! I was even kicking butt!

Almost as spectacular as the baby Jesus smiling, I had finished a game on the Xbox. Not because I had fallen off the castle to my horrific death, but because I had won the game. I had conquered my 3D gaming defect and it was amazing.

Damon bought us a few games for Christmas. Shrek 2? Completed in a few short days. Metal Arms? I got surprisingly far for a shootemup game. Voodoo Vince? Unfinished only because I got bored. Vexx? A lot harder than I think it should be. Prince of Persia 2? Harder than the first, but I keep on keepin' on. Crash Nitro Kart? Okay, I cannot do driving games but, to be fair, I couldn't do them on even the older systems. The great thing about this game is that B can instant replay the part where I crash into the wall and get stuck for ten minutes because I cannot figure how to go in reverse.

I even recently bought a Nintendo 64 at a garage sale and have been whooping up on Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario

After all the progress I have made, I still feel quite sheepish seeing a 69 year old woman beating the crap out of any game placed in front of her [via]. Perhaps I need to swear more, swearing is the secret to wining games.

But surely, if she can do it, then I can do it. Surely.


August 10, 2005

Dear Internet,

You have severely disappointed me.

A picture of boobs, MY boobs no less, have been on my website for twenty-four hours and I have received only one perverted comment and one non-perverted comment. I know for a fact, Internet, that you love boobies more than you love air, more than you love electricity, more than you love life. And yet, hardly a peep.

I mean, my boobs cannot even bring in the perverts! My desperate ploy for comments failed miserably! How sad is that! I don't know whether to be offended at your lack of attention or honored by your gentlemanly conduct.

Nevertheless, disappointed. Highly disappointed.

Think about what you have done. I'll be waiting for an apology.


Blogging Boobs

August 9, 2005

True to my word, I got an I'm Blogging This tank top. And here, for all the internet to see, is my rack new tank top.

It's interesting interacting with people who want to ask what 'blogging' is but do not want me to know they have been staring at my chest. Most guys will ask before realizing their faux pas while most women will furrow their brows and wonder about it.

The Spinning

August 9, 2005

It has come to my attention that, in this 24th year of my life, I am physically incapable of enjoying the food and the rides at the state fair. Separately, they are no problem.

Won tons from the Korean Baptist Church and elephant ears and corn fritters from the Alaskan Halibut stand (I'm pretty sure not every fair has one of those).

Oh, and the rides. The fun spinning rides. B is partial to the ones we have a bit of control over, the ones we get to spin our cage round and round or the ones with the stationary wheel in the center so we can spin faster. He is really good at those, perhaps too good.

I could go all day on those rides, provided I do not eat anything. Especially any fair food. Grease eating and ride spinning do not mix.

To calm my stomach we walked through the carnival games and I nagged with that horrid whiny voice, "How come you never try to win a prize for me? Why don't you love me?" and then I punched him. He tried a few games and failed miserably, so I punched him again.

Ah, young love at the state fair.

JIM sucks

August 8, 2005

One More Grey Hair to Pluck
Super-Sized Birthday Deluxe
Make Him Proud, Say it Loud
JIM Sucks!

XP Resolutions and Profiles

August 7, 2005

B and I each have separate profiles on our XP machine at home. Every time he changes the resolution in his profile, it also changes in my profile. If I change the resolution in my profile, it also changes his.

Is the resolution profile-independent? I thought it was something we could each set separately. And I am having a heck of a time finding the best keywords to search for this.

Anyone? Bueller?

Self-Service is for Heathans

August 6, 2005

I went garage saleing by myself this morning because Beth bailed on me and B was worried about the strain on his delicate ankles so he stayed home to play Neversmack which is, apparently, great for delicate ankles.

I wasn't having much luck. It's the first weekend of the state fair, threatened to rain all day, and was pretty smoky from forest fires (remember, kids: only you can prevent forest fires, unless they were the boundary fires started last summer to stop the wildfires and have been smoldering all winter long)(!).

I ran into my pastor's wife at one sale crammed with all sorts of craft accessories sure to make any crafter orgasm right then and there. We chatted a bit and ignored the squeals of pleasure behind us. I told her I was really out searching for a bicycle.

Then later after I had been home a bit and B had squealed much like the crafters over a new blender, my wife's pastor pastor's wife called. She could barely remember my name this morning, and now she has my number! And she found me a bicycle at a garage sale that will stay open just long enough for me to haul ass down there!

That, my friends, is a full-service place of worship. I'll have to see what other kinds of things she can find for me.


August 5, 2005

Tornado hits Sand Point, Alaska.

What kind of craziness is this!? Alaska does not get twisters of any kind. The world must be coming to an end, the sky falling, the earth falling off its axis, aliens. Yes, Aliens.



August 4, 2005

I have this weird tendency to use things until they are 95% depleted and then never touch them again. I do this with all kinds of different things: candles, pens, pads of paper, leftover dinner.

I feel the need to 'save' them because I cannot bear to see them completely gone, to throw them away.

Sitting in my office right now is: a large Vintage Merlot (trademark) candle with 3mm of wax (I do not know if that is enough to keep it lit because I refuse to light it and find out -- if it doesn't burn then I have to throw it out); a small pad of graph paper with three pieces still attached; a pink and a lime green pen with negilible amounts of ink; In Case of Emergency chap stick that I am guarding with my life.

Larger things I can throw away. Actually, I can get rid of just about anything else. Just not these small items I love to use. And I'm okay with this.

But I wonder if I would be able to let these little things go had Melissa not died.

I can't make this stuff up

August 3, 2005

Overheard in prayer: "Lord, just apply your Holy BenGay to her back."

They do that

August 2, 2005

An older man that may or may not have some Alaskan Native heritage at the restaurant last night:

"She may be my cousin, even though she said she was my sister. They do that sometimes."

Click Me Sideways

August 1, 2005

I don't know what the deal is, but my FireFox is letting me down. I'm not angry, just... dissapointed.

It all started with the last update: something in my FireFox changed, and not for the better. It's running with a different crowd now, a seedier, dirtier, uglier crowd. A crowd that does not like images inside an anchor tag.

I can click on a linked image, everything is all well and good until I want to click the link with my middle mouse button such that it opens in another tab, something I always want to do. Really, I do. Always.

But it doesn't open in another tab. Oh no. It doesn't open at all, anywhere. No little dotted outline appears to let me know that the browser recognized a half-click. No satisfaction.

I can middle-click other links just fine. I can even ctrl-click or shift-click other links fine, but I cannot ctrl-click or shift-click linked images.

Oh wait, I guess I cannot middle-click all other links just fine. I just came across a regular link, just a plain anchor tag with and URL and some text, completely Old Skool, and it will not middle-, ctrl- or even shift-click for me.

This whole thing is driving me batty, but not in a productive way. No. Batty in the way I explain to my co-workers how the masthead design is nowhere near completed because can't you see, here, that this outline is completely wrong it should be 1.5 points thicker can't you see? And they end up smiling, nodding, and slowly backing out of my office.

Addendum: Turned out to be the Single Window 1.4 extension. It's so much better now! Yay!

Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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