A Toast

The policeman looked to the sky for inspiration, coughed to clear his throat.

“A good woman,” he said, “is like a good she goat. She is beautiful, graceful, forgiving, abundant, and fertile. She is a good companion and abolishes solitude. Farides is beautiful, graceful, forgiving, and she has already abolished the solitude of Profesor Luis. Only time and activity will tell if she is fertile.” He winked slyly, and the people cheered bawdily. The policeman held up his hand for silence. “And a good man,” he continued, “is like a good he goat. He is handsome, noble, protective, and fertile. He also is a good companion and abolishes solitude. Profesor Luis is all these things, but only time will tell if he, too, is fertile! May I take this opportunity to wish you both all of the energy you will need to find out if this is so!” The people cheered again, and once more the policeman raised his hand.

“A good couple is like good music. The be good, it must be female and full of grace and tenderness, but it also must be male and full of strength and will. Then you will have true duende and true saudade. In Profesor Luis I see machismo, and in Farides I see gracia. May they always make sweet music together!”

Chapter 28, “The Battle of Chiriguaná,” of Louis de Bernières’ The War of Don Emmanuel’s Nether Parts

16 September 2005 · 17:16:52

2 love notes

Love that. Though I think I might paraphrase a little before I use it for my next wedding toast.

love, klondike.kate at 17sep05, 22:54:55

I like it just as it is; you think my mother-in-law would FREAK OUT if I used this at B’s sister’s wedding in July? More importantly, would it be worth it to see her FREAK OUT?

love, Valette at 19sep05, 08:15:11

leave me a love note


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