Three Years
Dear Melissa,
It has been three years since your accident, over one thousand days since I have seen your smile and heard your laugh. And while you have not been as regular in my dreams as you have in the past, you are still there.
And while I do not miss you through my tears every night, and while I do not ask God why, why, why every night, I still wonder the reason for your death. I still miss you.
I still tear up when I visit your grave even though, or perhaps because, I know you are not really there. I still tear up when a character in a movie or a book loses a loved one. I still tear up when I remember being late to see you before you flew to Minnesota. I still tear up when I miss you.
But more often I balance those tears with laughter. the time we broke the seat in Mom's car when driving B to Seward. The time my friend Matt had a huge crush on you. The times I compared your 5th grade height to that of my 8th grade classmate. The races we had on four wheelers, races you always won because I always let you have the better, faster machine.
And I think that is how you would have it. Laughter among the tears. And then you would tell me that my makeup looked horrible, and everything would be okay.
And you know what? I think everything will be okay.
Always your big sister,
Valette
2005