rhapsodic.org

Stream of Consciousness As Movie Reviews To Avoid The Slacking Content

Transporter 2: I refused to see this without seeing the first one. I'm funny that way, apparently, because B can read a series of books in COMPLETELY the wrong order and still be okay with it. So we rented The Transporter and enjoyed it; not stellar OH YEAH BABY, but pleasant enough of a don't-think movie. The second installation of an explosion and stunts movie was also good, but I could tell the creators didn't expect anyone to watch the first one so soon before watching the second, if they expected anyone to watch the first at all, because they reused many of the main character's stunts and moves. Beyond that, it wasn't too memorable so we should move on to...

Corpse Bride: It felt too short, and was not as good as The Nightmare Before Christmas, but your mileage may vary. Also, I wasn't sure which busty supporting (heh) lady I was supposed to root for: the dead one who has been wronged and let down time and time again yet shows a lot of leg? or the living one with the stuffy parents but who still has breeding capability? Tough one.

Lord of War: I had hoped for more explosions and shapely girls and guns doing what they do best, more of a testosterone flick. Spoiler: the brother dies. I could feel it only a few minutes before it happened, and then I burst into tears.

Serenity: I hadn't seen one lick of Firefly, the axed TV show on which the movie was based. But if the TV show was anything like the movie, then I want to rub it all over my naked body and call it 'daddy.' Going into it I didn't know what to expect, only that it had gotten spectacular recommendations from two trustworthy sources. The plot is a little crazy to explain to others, so I will just tell everyone to SEE IT.

Domino: I love knowing that Keira Knightley will not be "stuck in a corset [her] entire career," as she said in an interview for The Jacket. It was grimy and dirty and just right, despite having to leave at a PIVOTAL MOMENT to empty my bladder (note to self: if your bladder feels tight and you are 'sure the movie is almost over' you should most definitely ask your husband the time, else you will have to hold it for 60 full minutes more). The cast was a very weird mix that surprisingly worked, though I will admit that it was the first time ever that I did not want to claw Mo'Nique's eyes out with her own fingernails.