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Nauyans Lose to Armed Peacekeepers

Wins: 0
Losses: 1
Ties: 0
Fifths: 7

The Nauyans opened their BHL season last night against the Peacekeeprs. The Nauyans lost with a final score of 0 to 2.

"They marched into the rink in single file, and then stopped to chant some gobbledygook at the flag while swinging their guns around," a bewildered Coach John Kvasnikoff said. "With a name like 'Peacekeepers,' our boys had expected hippies with flowers in their hair. They were all caught off guard by the AK-47s, especially that new guy Martin Bricault. He let their two shots by almost immediately after the game started while he was peeing his pants. And I thought all Canadians were born with a hockey stick in their hand."

The game took a turn for the better when Ivan Qiss'nguaq tied Ottawan newcomer Bricault to the goal towards the end of the first period. "He wasn't even trying," Qiss'nguaq explained. "Even after being stuffed into that goal he still let one get passed. I'm not going to let this fancy European ruin the season for us."

When asked about a possible altercation between the two men, Qiss'nguaq responded, "I want to see him try." It is doubtful that Bricault will challenge Qiss'nguaq on or off the ice.

Next game is scheduled for this Friday, where the Nauyans will face the Royal Norwegian Mooseherding Association on home ice. The cheerleader demonstration is still up in the air, as the girls are adamant on doing a halftime show.