Main Posts

2006 Archives

Christmas In List Format

Because my sinus and my uterus have joined forces to swell to three times their size and gang up on...
27 DEC
2006

2006 In Cities

A little better than last year's list, inspired by Kottke: Fairbanks, AK Anchor Point, AK Homer, AK Caribou Lake, AK...
25 DEC
2006

Holiday Travel

The drive to Homer was mostly uneventful, and by that I mean "The Longest Drive To Homer In The History...
23 DEC
2006

Merry Christmas, Internet

From my home to yours....
22 DEC
2006

I'm Not Worried

The plan is to drive to Homer tomorrow morning. The plan, though noble and true, may be completely thrown out...
22 DEC
2006

Wells Fargo, I'm Looking At You

The bank that holds the lien on my wonderful car? Not so much with the holiday spirit. So much so...
20 DEC
2006

Hopkin Lost Cheer

I found some holiday cheer this weekend. Has anybody misplaced some of theirs? It's soft and bubbly and makes me...
18 DEC
2006

Caffeinated Birthday

It was Steveo's birthday this past weekend, and he who invited me to the poker game so I could completely...
12 DEC
2006

Commando Lucky

I can't rightly talk about my dog's bingo gambling habits without also mentioning that I walked away from a poker...
11 DEC
2006

Birthdays and Gateway Drugs

My niece turned nine yesterday and I went over to John and Heidi's after work for the birthday party. Only...
09 DEC
2006

2 Sisters

Beth and Becca, two very dear friends of mine in Fairbanks, are sooper talented in more ways than can be...
04 DEC
2006

Been in Anchorage just over a month

The ocean is right. There. I can't smell it because of all of the exhaust and gross city smells, but...
03 DEC
2006

I could use this right now

You know what I like? Double whammy: going to bed on freshly laundered sheets AFTER a nighttime shower WITH freshly...
01 DEC
2006

Pardon the Cobwebs

My office just moved this week into a larger facility on the other side of town, and that coupled with...
29 NOV
2006

Thanksgiving

I am thankful that the chocolate pie froze well enough to eat since it didn't really set as it ought...
24 NOV
2006

Partly Moved

The internet might be tired of staring at my dog, but I am tired of staring at boxes. So I...
20 NOV
2006

Have a picture of my dog

Possibly one of the stupidest things one can do during an Alaskan winter is take a road trip at night....
11 NOV
2006

The Chain Gang

Right. So. Work. Going good and everything. Really like the people I am working with. I'm not sure how... challenged...
09 NOV
2006

The Chiefest Part

Two Most Awesome Things About My First Day At Work:Standard Operating Procedure Policy A7: Format and Development of Standard Operating...
06 NOV
2006

No more sleeping in

In about 20 minutes I leave for this new job. I have this knot in my stomach and I couldn't...
06 NOV
2006

Everyone knows about the red caps

If you find yourself in the little exam room at the eye doctor's office, the small and dark room with...
02 NOV
2006

That was almost too easy

I got the job. I start Monday. Holy crap....
01 NOV
2006

How many interview outfits is too many?

I was all prepared yesterday to write about how overwhelmed and a little depressed I'm feeling, what with Major Life...
01 NOV
2006

Decisions Made

I walked out the door of my job for the very last time at the end of September. At the...
26 OCT
2006

Grumpy Old Dogs

Killer peed on my bedspread not a half hour ago. I had just pulled it out of the dryer and...
23 OCT
2006

Boobies at the Speed of Light

My parents have internet tubes! Large ones! Of the high-speed DSL variety! This is the way the internet is supposed...
18 OCT
2006

Beachcombing in Homer

This last weekend in Homer was much nicer than the previous. Yes, the previous weekend had four-wheelers and mud and...
16 OCT
2006

Caribou Lake

I spent the weekend with my brother, Rodney, out at his cabin on Caribou Lake. Which, if one considers the...
09 OCT
2006

When A 10-Hour Road Trip Is Second Nature

Having braved snow flurries, icy roads, gale-force winds, and buckets of rain, I am safely in Homer. Didn't mean to...
04 OCT
2006

Now Officially Unemployed

On my last day at work, the database crashed ("Hmm, never seen anything like that before," said our database support...
30 SEP
2006

My Time In Gayville

The first day and a half of my visit was wasted in the awful town of Tracy. We did manage...
28 SEP
2006

Catching The Gay

(or: Catching A Horrendous Head Cold) Jeff: If ten precent of America is gay, shouldn't ten percent of Great America...
23 SEP
2006

Four Years

It surely mustn't be the case that September is the worst month for heartache, but this September is another data...
22 SEP
2006

Some flowers in your hair

My first day in California was pretty uneventful: I slept most of the day, talked loudly about inappropriate things with...
20 SEP
2006

I sat next to a Japanese Catholic Priest

Okay, NOW I am in California. The flight was terribly cramped, so full of people. But the lights of San...
19 SEP
2006

Country Girl

There was a little... miscommunication, shall we say? regarding the dates of my upcoming travel. Thankfully it was resolved before...
18 SEP
2006

Linux n00b

I don't know much Linux command line stuff. I rather suck at it, actually, and I'll be the first to...
15 SEP
2006

For Sale! L@@K!

Hey, um, I know this is kinda weird, right? But does anyone (meaning anyone in the Fairbanks area) (and I...
14 SEP
2006

Tune In Next Week

Friendly Neighborhood Gynecologist (whom everyone should hug because of the wonderfulness she embodies): How's the blog?* Valette: Haha, I can't...
12 SEP
2006

Taking Applications Now

It is extremely sad to know that you look damn fine, and the only person in the office you can...
07 SEP
2006

Some Days are Better Than Others

For some reason or another, I often find myself wanting a list of songs with days of the week in...
06 SEP
2006

I Brake For Cantwell Mutants

When I was in Homer two weeks ago for my father's 60th birthday, plans were made for a trip to...
05 SEP
2006

Idon'tthinksokthxbye

Valette: note to self: before participating in a blindfolded sex thing, make sure none of the other participants are related...
29 AUG
2006

Little House On Memory Lane

or Overwhelming Evidence Valette Was Cute And Innocent Once, If Only For The Briefest Of Seconds, And Don't You Want...
29 AUG
2006

Dear Abbeys

Fairbanks is sorely lacking for entertainment. Which is evident by the number of people crammed into the high school auditorium...
25 AUG
2006

It Is Difficult To Escape South-Central Alaska

My trip to Homer last weekend went quite well, even considering the Parks Highway was closed from all of the...
24 AUG
2006

Boobies Deserve Happiness

I know I've said this before, but if you wear a bra, get thee to a bra fitting specialist right...
18 AUG
2006

Here is what I had for lunch

Looks yummy, doesn't it? And oh, it was. I am headed to Homer to celebrate my father's 60th birthday....
16 AUG
2006

Weekend

My weekend was rainy and lazy and grumpy. I didn't make it to the fair, didn't do any of the...
14 AUG
2006

Lazy Saturday

It is a very lazy afternoon. But it is also the last day of the Tanana Valley State Fair, and...
12 AUG
2006

My weekend is off to a great start

biscateddj: Hello dear, Friendship is magical,simply the fact that i have a chance to meet/see or find someone precious like...
11 AUG
2006

Group Poll

Ranch dressing on battered, deep-fried foodstuffs (onion rings, halibut, neighbors' fingers): Normal and even maybe good? Or proof the terrorists...
11 AUG
2006

Autumnphobia

I took the dog out late the other night, her last call for potty break before morning (is it really...
10 AUG
2006

Great Distress

Hey! I wanted to apologize for not grabbing your ass this weekend. Now, see, I was going to ask if...
08 AUG
2006

Wheels Reattained

I got my car back from the shop this weekend with a shiny new transmission that actually shifts into all...
07 AUG
2006

Just Like the Driftwood Of A Dream

07 AUG
2006

I'm A Horrible Daughter

Oh my God I just realized that my father turns 60 in, like, under two weeks and I'm supposed to...
02 AUG
2006

Have Cape, Will Travel

The date is September... 18. He finally proposed, did he? Not yet. Um, did he pick out the date by...
02 AUG
2006

Wedding Photos

Just as I promised, and only two weeks late! While it really, really is great that I am not opposed...
31 JUL
2006

Savings Accounts Are Against My Religion

Every time, every single time I build up enough savings that makes me think, "Yes, I am comfortable with this....
26 JUL
2006

To Make Up For Not Posting Wedding Photos, Here Is My Sunday At Chena Lake

Rachael and I packed up sunscreen, books, and the dog and headed to Chena Lake where nothing would stop us...
24 JUL
2006

I Have Two

So, uh, anyone want a Vox invitation?...
23 JUL
2006

Yes, Your Family Scares Me

Now I'm rethinking my pulling extended family into the blogosphere. I want to go onto the record as stating that...
23 JUL
2006

Everyone Carries Baggage

While I was in Homer, my mother (once again) pointed out that I still had boxes of crap down in...
21 JUL
2006

I Am So Glad To Be Home

So, yeah. Just because I left the internet on vacation didn't mean that everyone had to leave. Only one comment...
18 JUL
2006

Pray For My Soul

There's been a bunch of hullabaloo the past week or so about Extreme Makeover: Home Edition building a house here...
11 JUL
2006

The GUSHING of the Blood

That is what I get for kicking puppies. But at least my pedicure is color coordinated with all of the...
10 JUL
2006

Not Too Much To Ask

Those the jeans you bought while we were out last weekend? Yes. They look great on you. Thanks! I love...
08 JUL
2006

Life Is So Hard When You're This Small And Cute

The sun has been hot and bright and summery in between our daily does of thunderstorms, thunderstorms with all of...
07 JUL
2006

And Thou Shalt Go Forth, And Behold Yon Cleavage, And Be Fruitful

So! Yes! This internet thing! It's not just trucks for you to dump on! (Really, I'm very late with this,...
06 JUL
2006

Yeah, didn't think so

Is there ever a polite way to say, "No, I do not want to look at photos of your children/family/vacation...
06 JUL
2006

Do Si Do

Okay, seriously. Gay Square Dancing Convention are the funniest four words in the entire English language. And yet I have...
04 JUL
2006

Works For Me

"See, sometimes you're not really lying. You're just being prophetic."...
30 JUN
2006

Shopping 'Till I Drop Won't Take Long

B's youngest sister is getting married in two weeks down in Anchor Point. If you think that Homer is too...
29 JUN
2006

It's in the fine print at the bottom

I... What? No. I'm not going to complain any more. Not today. How can this be? You can't break the...
26 JUN
2006

Alaskan Summers: Rebar and Sunburns

I just this afternoon sunburnt my forehead because of all the driving I did today with my sunroof open. Our...
23 JUN
2006

Running with the Midnight Sun

The Midnight Sun Run took place on Saturday night and I had a blast watching from the blanket on my...
19 JUN
2006

Nothing to do with anything

Bloglines was down all day and it drove me to irrational fears such as, "What if they never come back...
16 JUN
2006

Titles that honor man

So, yes, titles. I've been using titles here for some time, since I started using them in the entry permalinks...
16 JUN
2006

Can't see the dog for the forest

There is a well-established routine that our small household goes through every morning:B is up at the ungodly 4:30a, putters...
15 JUN
2006

Tree Huggin', Bunny Thumpin', Granola Crunchin'

10c rolled oats 1c wheat germ ½lb shredded unsweetened coconut 2c shelled sunflower seeds 1c sesame seeds 3c chopped assorted...
13 JUN
2006

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean

I am in a purging mood tonight. I got rid of shoes that I know I will never ever wear...
09 JUN
2006

Forest Fire Festival

I've never been to a folk festival. I had plenty of opportunity in Homer with the KBBI Concert on the...
08 JUN
2006

Imagine

07 JUN
2006

Position-A-Day

Someone needs to make a sex position flip calendar and I would so put one on my desk at work...
06 JUN
2006

Lost Voice

I seem to have lost my voice this morning. Have you seen it? Until it is returned to me, I...
06 JUN
2006

Where have all the flowers gone?

Dear Mother Nature, I know it was pretty sad with me sickly and stuck inside on the couch and all....
05 JUN
2006

Sinus Camp

This scratchy illness thing has decided to camp out in my sinuses, complete wtih pressure, sneezing, and loud bumping bass...
02 JUN
2006

Sick

Someone has taken 60-grit sandpaper to my esophagus. Then they injected into my skull, through my right ear, a leprechaun...
31 MAY
2006

Long Lunches

It would seem that all of my storytelling has been used up on real and actual humans lately, humans who...
30 MAY
2006

Résumé By Committee

One of the requirements of a grant for which we are applying is proof that I know what I am...
24 MAY
2006

Unphotographable

This is a picture I did not take of a man sitting at a stop sign in a rusty moss...
20 MAY
2006

Let's Just Pretend This Is Content

"She's not going to try and pass off another meme as actual content again, is she?" Oh you bet she...
19 MAY
2006

Monkey love

Hon, did you place those toys in a compromising position on purpose? What toys? ... Oh. Oh my God. No....
18 MAY
2006

I am

Nothing like a meme to help (hopefully) jump start some actual content! I SAID: too much. As usual. I WANT:...
16 MAY
2006

Open Letter

Dear Office Mates, The creamy triple chocolate bunt cake with the chocolate frosting and curly chocolate shavings that, ah, "mysteriously"...
15 MAY
2006

I would prefer the flatulence

The dog. Just. Peed. On me. Seriously? Oh yes. I wouldn't joke about something like this. She is all doped...
13 MAY
2006

Shame and Blame

I could blame it on a lot of things. Things like my iPod armband breaking. Or the sky deciding to...
11 MAY
2006

A Blue Sky Holiday

As the list of Irrefutable Evidence That Valette is Officially Losing It got to be pretty long these past few...
10 MAY
2006

She sure cleans up real nice like, don't she?

A tally of last night:Just-too-formal dress from thrift store which garnered more compliments than expected: $14.99Underpinnings (low-backed with removable straps...
09 MAY
2006

Distraction

After working a 50 hour week of non-stop emergencies survived only by the grace of almond rocca mochas (don't dare...
06 MAY
2006

What's In Your Makeup Bag?

What's in your makeup bag? April? Lynne? Kiana? Kate? Heidi? And boys: I don't want you feeling left out....
04 MAY
2006

Internet Love

Dear Innernet, Do you want to come over for a sleepover this weekend? We could braid each other's hair and...
03 MAY
2006

Cheering Up

I had this very long post composed in my head about feeling like an impostor as of late, about people's...
02 MAY
2006

You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em

Things I Found Myself Yelling Across A Large Group of Adults and Children Tonight:You boys need to hang on to...
30 APR
2006

I Might Consider Hating Computers

When will I ever learn to leave well enough alone and stop messing with the computer already? Apparently the mere...
29 APR
2006

Dancing Chubby Man

I have a video to share. And, uh, it's on Myspace. I know, I know, Myspace is teh Evil and...
28 APR
2006

Bad Attitude

Phrases Uttered By Coworkers, Friends, And Family Members That Are Likely To Cause The Clenching Of Valette's Jaw And Glaring...
27 APR
2006

Put Back Together Again

Last night I caved in to the BIOS gods and excommunicated our new shiny SATA hard drive into Expensive Paperweight...
26 APR
2006

Wall of Monitors

Were anyone interested in having a wall of computer monitors fall on top of them -- a wall of ancient...
25 APR
2006

Lost Opportunities

I had the opportunity to be up close and disturbingly intimate with a plastic vagina-slash-pelvis today, and the only thing...
21 APR
2006

And the Swearing Goes On

Operation Upgrade Home Computer is not going well. Not going well at all. I'm at the point where I want...
20 APR
2006

Missed It But For the Internet

I missed seeing my father on The Daily Show last night, but the internet never lets me down. You can...
18 APR
2006

My BIOS Hates Me

Whoever thought it would be a great idea to plan four huge events within two weeks of each other should...
18 APR
2006

The Easter Bonnet

1986. Happy Easter....
14 APR
2006

Note to Self #72

Note to self: Though it may be sunny outside and comparatively 'warm,' and though you may have thick Alaskan blood...
13 APR
2006

Berms and Brothers

I would have expected an insurance claims adjuster whathaveyou person to know common road terms. You hit some, ah... what?...
11 APR
2006

Unexpected

The first question out of my gynecologist's mouth this morning, not the how-are-you-doing question because everyone knows that's not a...
10 APR
2006

I'm Home

It will always be humbling to have to ask the three cars you just passed at lightening speeds to pull...
09 APR
2006

Cantwell

When I saw that the roads in Cantwell, aka The Bermuda Triangle, were bone dry, it should have been a...
05 APR
2006

Road Trip

All of the dishes are finally washed. The trash is taken out.1 The fish are in no danger of starving....
05 APR
2006

Old Crapness New Hawtness

I suppose that's what I get for asking the Internet, uh, anything. My parents have a record player, 8-track player...
04 APR
2006

Audience Participation

I and the dog will be driving to Homer on Wednesday to attend my uncle's memorial service. B will not...
03 APR
2006

The Cake Is On Fire

Everyone go say happy birthday to my brother and oft-instigated partner in crime, Damon....
01 APR
2006

The In Bed Game

Last night I signed away my entire savings account, first born child, and left knee cap to a guy named...
31 MAR
2006

Oh Man

Newsflash!! My father, Homer City Councilman, is going to be on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Monday night...
30 MAR
2006

Not How To Not Spend Money

I hear that sometimes the best way to get out of a writing slump (I dare not call it writer's...
29 MAR
2006

Goodbye, Uncle Dave

One of the problems with relying on electronic communication to pass on vital family information is that not everyone gets...
23 MAR
2006

Butt: Kicked

A stapler kicked my butt at the office today. It would staple the air just fine, spreading a fan of...
21 MAR
2006

Number 241

Note to Self: Before walking the 12 blocks from the office to the river for the Open North American Championship,...
18 MAR
2006

Over

Now I'm faced with a possible trip to Homer for an imminent funeral. Everyone say a prayer for Aunt Judy,...
17 MAR
2006

Overwhelmed

It would seem that I have been promoted at work. It was slipped into yesterday afternoon's meeting and couched between...
16 MAR
2006

Happy Pi Day

Sine! Sine! Cosine! Sine! Three point one four one five nine!...
14 MAR
2006

The Schmoozing Plan

I nearly froze my butt off at Ice Alaska on Saturday. The temperature hovered around -15°F all day long; B...
13 MAR
2006

Damn the Man

This kind of injustice cannot stand. We must band together to not let the Establishment win. Stand up for what...
12 MAR
2006

Internet Love

Three offers for scarves, and only one from my mother! Internet! I kiss you! Are you doing anything later? Want...
10 MAR
2006

The Tundra Requires Scarves

I live in the tundra. I mean, technically, Fairbanks isn't located on tundra. But I don't have to go far...
09 MAR
2006

Single Block

When Steve told me he was planning a trip to the wonderful winterland that is the Alaskan Interior and asked...
07 MAR
2006

I Love You For Your Brain

I dreamt about having sex with a zombie last night. Hm. Hm? That's all the reaction I get to sleeping...
27 FEB
2006

Respect

#1: ...and my friend from Arizona was all, 'I was in Alaska and didn't see any penguins! It was lame!'...
23 FEB
2006

Obligatory

So, yeah. This is the Why-I'm-Not-Blogging-Much post wherein I explain that my supervisor is in Jamaica (I know!) and just...
22 FEB
2006

Woo-Woo Jewelry

Vagina Earrings. I am tempted to buy them for myself so I can wear them everywhere. I would love to...
20 FEB
2006

Call Me Miss Scarlet

I would highly recommend bringing a lead pipe when making a trip to the hardware store. Not only do none...
20 FEB
2006

Dented Valentine

My spiffy silver car has to have a giant KICK ME sign taped to it's back. Someone hit it last...
14 FEB
2006

Presence

I dreamt about her last night. When I woke to my alarm I couldn't remember the scene, the plot, the...
14 FEB
2006

Do you have to talk about this in my office?

Coworker 1: Your husband brought you red roses? How sweeeeet! And gross. Coworker 1: I'm just jealous; I want someone...
13 FEB
2006

Impatience

It's above freezing again and the sun is reflecting off of the building next door and into my office. This...
10 FEB
2006

4th Time Around

So JIM wants me to do this fours meme now that he is ex-Canadian. I don't know what kind of...
09 FEB
2006

John and His Mushrooms

Ah, 1974. Shortly after this photo was taken, John learned that there are better, more lucrative things to do...
07 FEB
2006

There's Always the Weather

How 'bout them Steelers, eh? Heck of a... Oh wait, I don't watch football. Only time I can be convinced...
06 FEB
2006

Great Timing

Note to self: In the very middle of a Sunday morning sermon is perhaps the worst time to get a...
05 FEB
2006

Know When To Hold 'Em

Dear Kelli and Rachael, I am a bad friend. This is true, but you would already know this because I...
03 FEB
2006

Murphy's Law

The camera will turn on properly and work just fine in my office. Will work just fine in the car....
02 FEB
2006

Birthday Bow

The staff took me to lunch today for my birthday and promptly remembered why it is they do not...
01 FEB
2006

SAD Puppy Ennui

Oh, the SADness is unbearable....
30 JAN
2006

The Cake is on Fire

Post Birthday Wrap-UpWell-wishing family members who called via cell phone while travelling: 5Accidents caused by said conversations: 0Birthday spankings received:...
29 JAN
2006

Unrelated

I am fifth result in a Google search for wank fest. I should not be as proud of this as...
27 JAN
2006

School's Out Forever

I get to play hooky again today, bringing the total to a four-day weekend. It's not like your usual four-day...
27 JAN
2006

Keeping Occupied

Since I can't convince the dog she doesn't want to go outside right now and really wants to just hold...
26 JAN
2006

This is Cold

It is officially Too Cold For Non-Profits* and I have the day off from work. Which is a great thing...
26 JAN
2006

Forecast: Bleak

Take that....
25 JAN
2006

Comfortable

What does it say about me that I will try to append /blog/ to the end of any URL just...
24 JAN
2006

Abandoned

Yesterday morning my car almost didn't want to start. It did that chug-ughing and then belt-whining thing that cars do...
24 JAN
2006

Things You May Not Have Considered

When it's late and I'm tired, I drive very, very slowly. Like, old lady slow. I can be doing 30mph...
22 JAN
2006

Mamma Wants A New Pair of Shoes

I repeatedly hit redial, praying that my call would get through. Busy signal after busy signal, I wondered what I...
20 JAN
2006

Bat Girl Haunts My Dreams

I was finally able to explain this Bat Girl obsession (mine, in any case) in a manner that did not...
19 JAN
2006

Blanket of Snow

There's something about a night's snowfall that I just love. I know it sounds weird, but I can hear the...
19 JAN
2006

Bat Girl

Once upon a time a man drew Bat Girl. He forgot about Bat Girl for nine years, and then he...
15 JAN
2006

Scandal!

There has been this huge scandal, if you would, in the non-profit circles here in Fairbanks today. An organization was...
13 JAN
2006

The Year In Cities

I was wanting to do this Year In Cities meme, but then I remembered how dull my life is and...
11 JAN
2006

New Router

I've replaced the router at work, and now everyone is happy with the state of the internet (which hints at...
11 JAN
2006

All Filler

Looking at all that white space on my front page is making me 1. Nervous, and 2. Slackerish. I can...
10 JAN
2006

Caught On

Dear Fairbanks Coffee Shops And Stands: Quit watering down your Jet Tea mix. It is totally bringing my mojo down....
10 JAN
2006

A pinch to grow an inch

Happy happy birthday to April!...
09 JAN
2006

Alaska Mall

Yes, it is that difficult to find a mall in Alaska....
07 JAN
2006

Without the Glasses

I'm still not 100% used to being without glasses, but I am getting there. The contacts only feel like bugs...
05 JAN
2006

WFM Patch

This new Windows metafile vulnerability is a pretty nasty one. And while Microsoft has at least acknowledged the problem, they...
03 JAN
2006

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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