rhapsodic.org · weblog · Butt: Kicked

Butt: Kicked

A stapler kicked my butt at the office today. It would staple the air just fine, spreading a fan of neatly folded staples all over my desk and floor. But bring it within sight of (gasp) a bit of paper and it was all constipated with the staples.

I did the most logical thing, which was to pace around my small office—made smaller by the recent change in duties and responsibilities—holding my stapler at arm’s length and lecturing it loud enough to worry volunteers at the other side of the building that Valette had seriously lost her shit.

“Why are you being retarded?”
“I am the Office Manager and you must obey me!”
“Just do what you were meant to do and staple for me!”
“Why do you hate me so much?”

“If you don’t get your act in shape and start stapling for me this very minute there is going to be hell to pay. Oh yes. I will trade you in for a newer sleeker ergonomic model and then you will see.” *cue crazy cackling*

And this week is going better than last!
And I know you don’t believe me!

Not much better, granted, but better enough that I haven’t had to hide in my office with a “Going Into Survival Mode Please Do Not Disturb KTHXBYE” sign on my door like I did last Thursday.

I am learning that it is more than okay for me to hide in my office and close the door more than I have in the past (which has been, well, almost never), but I did take the sign down. I don’t necessarily need everyone to know when I am in the process of losing my shit.

I’ll just tell the internet about it afterwards anyway.

4 love notes

Usually in those situations I end up stapling myself, as if I didn’t know which end the staple comes out of.

On something completely unrelated that you might enjoy knowing. I ran across your website in a google search unrelated to Alaska, any name on here, or anyone I know.

I’ve stapled myself before trying to “unjam” an uncooperative stapler.

I’m not proud of that fact. I’m just stating it.

two things.

1. At least it wasnt a power stapler.

2. You are a manager ;) ?! When I read that my brain went straight to “The Office”. Now I understand completely why the stapler whipped you HAHA.

Miss ya!