The In Bed Game

Last night I signed away my entire savings account, first born child, and left knee cap to a guy named Robert.

Robert remarked that he is “Three months and two days older than B! What a small world! Ha ha!” right before he sunk his teeth into my neck and sucked all of the blood from my body.

But we were forced to deal with him because he had something we desperately needed.

The water bed sprung a leak the night before causing me to wake at 2am dripping wet. B woke in a similar predicament two hours later (because, lest anyone forget, I am a Bad Wife and didn’t inform him my reason for moving to the couch so that he may choose a similar course of action, but instead I left him in the leaking bed).

Instead of patching the previous patch that now has a nice hole in it, we cursed the wind and became broke for a real adult mattress. Did you know real adult mattresses cost a friggin’ arm and a leg OH MY GOD I AM SO SERIOUS.

This may be a huge source of stress for me in the coming, oh, years.

We walked away from Robert without any savings, but we brought with us a memory foam bed the size of Texas. I don’t even have to look at my husband all night if I so desired, the thing is so big.

Lacey boycotted the new huge bed until everyone was asleep and she realized her kennel was lonely and cold and didn’t snuggle as well as her humans. Who aren’t touching each other anyway, and may never snuggle again.

Small price to pay for not being so…
I mean, waking up not dripping…

Yeah, you try to not make a being-wet-in-bed sex joke.

31 March 2006 · 08:35:50

2 love notes

Well writen, haha.

Congratulations on graduating out of a waterbed, Marty really fought that transition when that time came in our life. Thank heavens we’re past that now!

Bet you’ll just love the bed and come to wish you could travel with it as we do. Guest beds just aren’t the same once you’ve gotten use to a bed like that.

love, Kiana at 31mar06, 15:38:46

I loved my water-bed, it was always so warm and snugly, except of course when it leaked.
Have you noticed they never leak during the day, only in the middle of the night?

love, Lynne at 31mar06, 17:43:44

leave me a love note


·

·

·

remember personal info?






Conquered
Dinner
Backpack
Jacques Philip