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Let's Just Pretend This Is Content

"She's not going to try and pass off another meme as actual content again, is she?"

Oh you bet she is.

1// What is the last thing you had to have repaired?

My vagina! You weren't expecting that now, were you? Ha ha! No, I will offer no explanation, only that the whole process is weirder than the most weird thing you can imagine. Seriously. Weird. Very.

But if we're talking item, as in something that I have paid money for prior to said repairs (because I did not pay money to get my vagina) (only other people have), it would have to be my car. Always my car.

2// If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?

Gosh. I hate spending money on myself. Could I put it towards a down payment on a house? Because, while technically "ours" it would be mine as well. No? How about... my student loan? Man, that is a lot of money to blow on just me.

Um. A camera! Yes, that is what I would buy. Something with "rebel" in its name. Something I could lick repeatedly.

For the charity I would choose the Muscular Dystrophy Association because that is what my niece has.

3// What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?

After an embarrassing amount of time being sucked into 80s music videos, I can honestly say they are all Solid Gold.

4// You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?

OMG the puppies. Always the puppies. But since there no pet stores with puppies in this town (Fairbanks? I disown you), the fishes. Probably a holdover from the only feed store in Homer having only fishes and maybe one or two rodents. And peep-peeping baby chicks in the spring.

5// On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?

I was going to give a negative number, but I think maybe forcing myself to ride my bicycle every day (which, I must confess, is not every day in a "daily" sense, but more every day in a "weekly" sense because hey! This is the tundra! I can still see my breath at 6.30 in the morning! Whose bright idea was that?), that might bring the number above zero.

But not far above zero because I spend most of the time wanting to lie down on the soft asphalt of the bike path and die, and I spend the rest of the time talking about dying. I am a wimp in the athletic department of life, and I fully embrace that.

I give this question a score of 0.25. Go team!