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Tune In Next Week

Friendly Neighborhood Gynecologist (whom everyone should hug because of the wonderfulness she embodies): How's the blog?*

Valette: Haha, I can't believe you always remember that. It's doing just fine.

FNG: And everything else? How's work?

Valette: Actually, I just quit! I gave my month's notice at the beginning of September and just, and I mean just twenty minutes ago, told the rest of the staff!

FNG: Wow. And you look so... happy.

I may look happy, but inside I am crying great big huge alligator tears. OF JOY. Because, did you read that? Let me just repeat it for your (by which I mean my) benefit:

I. Have. Resigned. From. My. Job.

It's just so fun to say.

But let's step back from all of the squealing and clapping of the hands to do a bit of arithmetic, shall we?

Valette's last day in the office: 29 September
minus Valette's planned and pre-approved vacation: 18--26 September
equals Valette's remaining days in the office: 6

Six days, people.

Which is exciting in the I'm-almost-out-of-here-for-reals-hooray kind of way, but also scary in the crap-there-is-a-ton-of-stuff-needing-to-be-done kind of way.

And the rest of the staff has been inundating me with OMGOMGOMGZ, like the close call today that the Russians! They have hacked into our server! What are we going to dooooooOOO????

How about freak out quietly in a corner before I slap you and then make sure the file was saved correctly because OH HO what is this? it wasn't.

Network saved once again from evil Russian hackers. Whew, close one.

But back to important things, like my vacation!

This ain't no usual vacation that involves holding my breath driving through Cantwell so the mutants who live there won't detect the warm body temperature of my living body, ripe and perfect for devouring.

And while it does involve visiting family, there will only be the one family member and myself. And! Double plus good! We will be in San Francisco and not Homer!

The last time I was out of the great state of Alaska was almost six years ago. About Damn Time, I say.

There will be amusement parks and leather-clad gay men and giggling like school girls into the early morning and pictures of Californian rust. I am sure Californian rust is MUCH more sophisticated than Alaskan rust.

There will also be a plethora of internet tubes; I hear the bay area is One Giganitmous Internet Tube, so I should be able to make regular bloggity updates from Damon's wee apartment.

But since "regular" in Valette-world means "once weekly or so", with the emphasis on the "or so", your guess is really as good as mine.

I am looking forward to the time away (meaning both the vacation and the never-working-there-again) because, as of late, work has become one horrible TBN soap opera. And while soap operas are great to make fun of, they are no fun to live out.

Who's back stabbing whom? What will happen when Karen is caught stealing volunteers' lunches from the refrigerator? Is Rachael really carrying Grant's love child? Did Valette really die in the tragic herb garden fire? Will the love of The Lord Our Savior Jesus Christ Amen overcome all??

Re-reading this, it is more than quite apparent I have had three 20oz sodas today. Oh man, I'm sorry for ALL THE CAPS and the exclamation marks!!!!!1! Wonder if I'll even be able to sleep tonight.