Taking Applications Now
It is extremely sad to know that you look damn fine, and the only person in the office you can count on to not only notice but give the appropriate amount of compliments, as of last week, no longer works at the organization.
Were I rich and living in San Francisco making a salary with all of those lovely zeros that apparently get thrown around the Bay area like it's air (salary zeros don't grow on trees in Alaska, you see), I would get myself a gay personal assistant to throw compliments at me.
"SO ENVIOUS of your hair!"
"Are those pants new!?"
"Luuuurve your your nail polish; can I borrow it?"
Then we'd go get smoothies, pedicures, and gossip about pseudo-celebrities and indie bands.
I just want someone to tell me I look cute.
Is that too much to ask?
2006

3 Love Notes
I heard the flowers talking about you recently.
Just so you know, they're jealous as hell.
I only have one person, too, and she's in my office. If she left it would be tragic.
Um... Yeah. Cute... you. And, um, fabulous. Yeah.
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