Birfday Weekend
Has anybody seen my weekend? Because I seem to have misplaced it.
It's a very special weekend, you see, because it was a Birthday Weekend.
And Birthday Weekends are the most special weekends of all, except maybe Christmas weekend. Or Four Day Weekends. Or Three Day Weekends. Or Vacation Weekends. Or Warm And Sunny Weekends.
The last time I saw my Birthday Weekend it was Friday night and I was fantasizing about all the time I would spend cuddled up with it, loving it, treating it right.
I set it down so I could do a ton of laundry at the laundromat (Dear Obviously Pregnant Woman: Do you really need that extra chair to hold your calculator? I know your lap is non-existent at this point, but I do not think that your calculator really could appreciate a chair at the laundromat more than my behind would appreciate it.).
I vaguely remember something with a movie theatre and the end-slash-beginning of the world, and there was a bit of birthday cake and ice cream and dice. Beyond that, I have no idea.
Did I leave it at the laundromat, you think? Or was it stolen by the Obviously Pregnant Woman, whose stomach held the Weekends of all her victims and not an unborn child as she leads everyone to believe?
I know for a fact that alcohol did not play a factor in the losing of my weekend, because I don't roll like that. Unless it was the OPEN CONTAINER of vodka Steve had while I was driving. (Everyone go tsk Steve for that.)
Maybe I dropped it on the floor at my brother's and one of the dogs ate it, thinking it was chocolate birthday cake?
But I'm back at work now, staring at an empty, slow, and dragging week's calendar, sad to have lost my weekend. Maybe it will run ahead and join forces with next weekend. Yes, that must be it.
2007
4 Love Notes
..ya know - Lily DID harf something up this morning that may have been easier to recognize yesterday (before it entered the dog). Realizing now that it may have been your weekend, I'm gonna chase her sister, Jewels, around try to make her harf MINE up as well. THAT must be where they all go..
p.s.
Heidi and I have years(13) of excuses for being slow moving, unexciting creatures come sunday nite, but my excuses(see above)have NO excuse to be so polite and controlled at a burfday bash! apologies.
I would just like to point out that the open container of alcohol in question was strained Sterno cut with Mogen David 20/20 that I was drinking out of a Transformers thermos and not, as rumors would have it, a bottle of vodka with a vanilla bean in it.
sad story. so sorry. I've lost two or three weekends lately... Perhaps they got together with yours and had a party? I know that if they did, they left me out of it...
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