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Summertime Will Be a Love-In There

I rode six miles on my bicycle tonight, following the Campbell Creek Trail to its end. It started raining on my way back, but even so I managed to remain on my bicycle and vomit-free the entire way up the giant hill at the end of the route.

There may be hope yet.

When I got home the dog farted on me twice and then sniffed her hiney, completely admitting to full blame. Unlike other people I know whose name begins with an S and ends in a Fart-o.

On my way to the shower to de-sweatify, I nearly electrocuted myself with exposed wire on the electric clippers. Which, honestly? If you've never tried electric shock? I'd recommend against it.

"I'm throwing these away, and there's nothing you can say that will stop me. Look! Exposed Wire! OMG"
"I never noticed that before."
"Yeah, me neither. Until I just burned myself."
"Did you get burned, or shocked?"
"Burned. I think. Don't they feel the same anyway?"
"Are you feeling jittery?"
"Well, yeah..."
"I think you should sit down."
"I think I should sit down."

But surprisingly, I am not in a bad mood! In fact, this is the opposite of a bad mood.

And do you know why?
Let me give you one word to sum it up:
VACATION.

Steve and I leave Friday night for San Francisco where we will not be renting a car because his directions ("hey, um, where are you going?" "where you told me to go." "but you just drove passed where we want to be." "then why didn't you tell me that?" "why didn't you know?" "omgwtf." "women are so dumb." "I hate men.") will make me shoot him and then stab myself in the eyeball, making cornea donation impossible.

Please support organ and tissue donation, and have your animals spayed or neutered.

Instead of a rental car, we will be relying on public transportation and my brother to chauffeur us around, because really, what else are siblings for? This is not an optional thing, because I will whine to Mom and he will be in trouuuuble.

We have every spare minute planned, there are calendars and schedules and tickets and sunscreen. The only thing that will be missing from this trip that was present on my last trip is the hundreds of naked homosexuals.

I still expect to find opportunity to wear my fishnets, however.

After San Francisco we will be heading to Sin City Las Vegas for three whole days and two whole nights. There will be gambling and seeing old friends and Cirque de Soleil and hookers and blow.

Just one more full day at work.

One more day, and I can put this whole being electrocuted thing behind me.