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French Onion Soup

2T unsalted butter
5 medium red onions (or 3lbs multicultural onions), sliced thin
salt
6c low-sodium chicken broth
1¾c low-sodium beef broth
1/4c dry red wine
2 sprigs fresh parsley
1 sprig fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
1T balsamic vinegar
ground black pepper

Melt the butter in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the sliced onions and ¾t salt and stir to coat the onions. The onions will almost fall out of your pot and appear to be way too many onions for any human consumption. Worry about not having enough broth or enough patience to eat a ton of soup for weeks. Do not fear: they will reduce down wonderfully.

Cook, stirring frequently, until the onions are reduced and syrupy, and the inside of the pot is coated with a very deep brown crust. This should take 30-35 minutes.

Stir in the broths, red wine and herbs, scraping the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon to loosen the browned bits, and bring to a simmer. Simmer about 20 minutes to blend the flavors, then discard the herbs. Don't forget the bay leaf hidden at the bottom of the pot, because those things are yucky to bite into. Stir in the balsamic vinegar and add salt and pepper to taste.

For the crusty bread:

1 baguette
4¾ oz swiss cheese, sliced 1/4-inch thick
3 oz asiago cheese, freshly grated

Slice baguette into ¾-inch slices on the bias. Substitute the cheeses with a fancy French gruyére cheese, which I find most yummy. Grate the cheese, or if incredibly lazy, slice it a few times into something that will melt nicely.

Adjust an oven rack to the upper-middle position. Not the top position. Heat the broiler. Set oven-safe soup bowls or crocks on a baking sheet.

Fill each bowl with about 1¾c soup. Top each bowl with 2 baguette slices; cover the bread with cheese. The more cheese, the better.

Broil until the cheese is well browned and bubbly, about 10 minutes. If you put the oven rack in the top position of the oven by accident, after 5 minutes the bread will be somewhat blacked but the cheese will still melt. Cool 5 minutes and serve.

Pretend it was served by a snooty French waiter. Don't burn your tongue.