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OMG Zucchini Bread Yum

3 eggs, beaten
1c sugar
3.25c flour
2c zucchini, grated
2t vanilla
1t baking powder
1t baking soda
3t cinnamon
1t salt

Makes 2 loaves.

Grate a ton of zucchini in 0.2 seconds. Remember grating zucchini by hand and wonder what was wrong with you. Love your mother for the awesome Christmas gift of a food processor. Realize you grated too much zucchini for a single batch, and double everything.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Beat 6 eggs (repeat to yourself: doubling the recipe) in your fancy Kitchen Aid mixer. Don't forget about them and make them fluffy -- that would be bad. Add in the 2 cups of sugar and blend well.

Change to your batter paddle. Dump in a bunch of grated zucchini because it's next on your handwritten list of ingredients and mix it in. Think that it looks kind of funny, so add in the flour.

But only add 4 cups of white flour because that's all that is in the cupboard; use whole wheat flour for the remaining 2.5 cups (remember: doubling the recipe) and swear to not tell anyone how healthy the bread is. Vegetables and whole wheat! Mix it all in well.

Dump in the rest of the zucchini and mix it all in very, very well. Notice that the food processor still holds at least 1.5 cups of grated zucchini and consider making another batch. Don't do it. Step away from the zucchini.

Mix in the baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Completely forget to add the vanilla. Worry that the batter will overflow the mixer, and tell your boyfriend that you need the next bigger model. Have no answer to his question of why you always cook enough for 14 people and shoo him out of the kitchen.

Grease and flour four bread pans (remember: doubling the recipe) with crisco and whole-wheat flour. Consider trying fake eskimo ice cream with the crisco and berries and gag a little because: ew. Yell at the dog to get out of the kitchen already.

Distribute the batter evenly between the four bread pans. Worry that the batter is too thick. Try to remember exactly how many cups of flour went into the batter; second-guess your counting skills.

Put the pans into the oven and wait until your boyfriend says that it smells really really good. Bake it for another half hour to torture him (total: one hour).

Cool on a rack for 20 minutes, or until it will no longer scorch your fingers. Turn out of the pan and slice into heavenly slices of yum. Make nom nom nom noises.