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Five Indications The Dog Is Drugged To Perfection

October 17, 2007

1// Head mass increases exponentially. This is best seen by the refusal to lift her head when her name is called. And lifting it very, very slowly when Squirrel is squeaked, only to decide it's too much work to hold such a heavy thing off the soft, soft couch.

2// Drunk-like inability to walk in a straight line, stopping partway to her destination to test the usefulness of the carpet as a pillow.

3// Constant farting. Not just A Lot of farting, because she's a dog and that's what dogs do: dogs fart, sniff their butts, and then flee the room quickly and silently before any humans smell it. I'm talking a steady eeking of gasses from the behind.

4// The floor keeps moving. Why won't the floor stay where she put it?

5// Low center of gravity. Extremely low. The try to scratch an itch, fall over and hit her head on the chair, then decide it's best for every part of her body to be touching the ground kind of low.


She must have gotten a hair cut. Poor Lacy will freeze.

Not as cold as she will be when I have to give her a haircut in February. That is why God made embarassing doggy sweaters.

Doggie dirndl.

Sorry, Steve, didn't mean to leave you out - did you get a hair cut, too?

He prefers to look like a hobo.

And there is NO WAY I will be dressing my dog for halloween, so give it up already.

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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