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May 2008 Archives

I Won't Be Eating Scrapple

May 30, 2008

I'm not sure how or when I agreed to flying to the east coast. All I do know is that I have confirmation numbers and have been checked in to airlines and that my name is on a car rental in Philadelphia for Sunday.

We will be spending a bunch of days lounging on the beach in southern New Jersey, unless New Jersey thinks we would be more comfortable with thunderstorms and such; then we will spend a bunch of days lounging in our hotel room watching cable television and grumping.

We will also spend a few days in Philadelphia playing tourist and meeting up with internet friends like Lynne and Connor and seeing how many precious historical items we can lick.

I will be meeting the majority of Steve's family, but I've been told I'm not expected to like them. I can live up to those expectations, especially if/when it comes time for the Nightly Keller Risk Playoffs and Fart-a-Palooza.

And considering that I will be the one doing all of the driving (see: car rental, above), Steve might not be coming back.

I've never driven anywhere outside of Alaska. Anchorage is the largest city I've driven in, and that was stressful for the first 14 months I lived here. Terms like "interstate" and "I90" and "interchange" and "toll booth" and "speed limit" just go right over my head.

Plus we have had some pretty big miscommunication when it comes to my driving and him giving direction. I'm fully aware of the possibility of bursting into tears, stopping in the middle of some 17-lane freeway, and kicking him out.

But on the bright side, beach- and warm-weather-clothes for women are so small (shorts, skirts, tanks, sun dresses, bathing suits) that I can practically fit a whole person in my one piece of luggage with all of my clothes. I could kick Steve out and pick up Bruce Springsteen. I'm sure he wouldn't fart in the car.

Good Morning!

May 29, 2008

Last night I was lying in bed reading when I glanced at the clock. "Oh my God, it's 12.30 already. Is that clock right? How did it get that late? Good grief." I finished up my chapter, pushed the dog around until I was in a better position, put on my eye mask, and promptly fell asleep.

Let's call that foreshadowing.

When my alarm went off this morning, sleep didn't want to let go of me. My dreams tangled with the waking world, and my blankets were made of zippers. Zippers sewed together in zigzag fashion, such that pulling the covers off of me was nearly insurmountable. Standing across the room in front of my now silent alarm, I was only slightly less convinced that my bed was full of zippers.

Lacey and I did the normal First Thing Pronto event of emptying our bladders, and then I decided that I really could use another half hour. So I reset my alarm and climbed back into bed.

When my alarm went off again at 7, my blankets were still made of zippers, though my previous experience with the zippers made it easier to get out of bed. Lacey didn't move under the blankets, even though the sound of my alarm is usually enough to make her start running in circles. I attributed this to having pumped her with doggie downers for last night's haircut, the drugs still affecting her.

I rushed through my routine, ran a straight iron through my hair as fast as possible with the misguided notion that it would be faster than wetting and diffusing it to make my curls happy. I couldn't hear any noise from the bedroom, no getting-up noises, no jingling of the collar, no Steve-stretching.

I ran back in and re-woke Steve, who was moving slower than I was. I was pretty annoying to make him get out of bed because we were running late. Up up up, everyone up! And dressed! Whee!

We left a few minutes late, but nothing that I couldn't make up by speeding (which I never, ever do, Mother, only a little and I'm hardly ever caught) a bit more than usual.

We laughed about the bed being full of zippers, and saw two cops at a stoplight. Steve wondered aloud if they were changing shifts, and I started to say that 7.30 was a stupid time for a shift change, when I saw the radio clock.


I tapped it with my finger a few times. Is that right? Really? 6.30? It can't be, can it? I grabbed my purse from the back and verified the time with my cell phone. We stared at the clock, dumbfounded.

It explained why we felt like we had been hit with a truck.
It explained Lacey refusing to get out of bed.
It explained all of the zippers.

I guess it hadn't been 12.30 last night after all.

Dogs, People, and Music

May 17, 2008


Violin duet

Most Likely Tourists

Couple with Their Dogs

Taking a Short Break

Couple in Sunglasses


At the Downtown Market.

Music For the People

May 15, 2008

I hate forgetting to bring my iPod to work. Then my only other music options are to listen to some internet radio (like my Last.FM stream or music discovery service Pandora), or borrowing one of Coworker Jeff's CDs.

The problem with option #1 is that IT really, really frowns upon streaming internet radio, and the problem with option #2 is that while Jeff might have some okay taste in music, I've heard it all. Repeatedly. Because he likes to listen to one CD for about a month straight. Or until I threaten him by waving my rubber band gun in his face.

Muxtape is kind of like finding a stack of unlabled burned CD mixes. Instant music, you never know what you're going to get until you open one up. It's like magic.

Here the mixes I've enjoyed this workday:

  • christopherware - a nice and mellow indie mix
  • jodiwilldare - indie covers
  • galaxia - I keep coming back to this one no matter how often it's changed
  • peli - pop-rock
  • robotlovekills - indie-rock and rock
  • beforeindie - before everyone got self-conscious about indie being the Cool Thing
  • matthewbaldwin - I've listened to this one at least three times and even made Rachel listen to it, however unenthused she was about the Sesame Street music

Road Trip

May 11, 2008

I went to Homer this weekend, and the only thing better than this:


was getting to call John, still on the road to Homer from Anchorage, and brag that I had eaten one before him.

Excitement for a Sunday

May 4, 2008

Heidi gave me some sourdough starter a month or so ago, and I've been dutifully ignoring it ever since. I tried making sourdough bread from one recipe I found online, but the stupid thing never rose. Or maybe I just didn't have the patience to let it rise for more than 6 hours and just threw the thing away.

I found a different recipe and today decided to go for it; if this one failed like the last one, then I would toss the starter and begin from scratch.

But the consistency of the dough felt different, felt more like bread than the first attempt, so I was hopeful that I would be eating hot sourdough bread before bed.


I let it sit for two hours and it did a bit of rising, which was great. I let it sit for another two hours and it filled the bread pan. This was working! I was going to have hot bread! My starter wasn't bad! A whole world of sourdough possibilities were opening up to me!

The recipe I had found mentioned putting boiling water in the oven under the bread pan to help keep things moist, so I popped a Pyrex pan in the 450°F oven while I boiled water.

Boiling water is only about 212°F. And I dumped it into a glass pan at 450°F. You don't have to have a chemistry degree to know that that difference in temperature will make for some crazy bad things. If you can't imagine it, let me give you a better picture:


I really liked that Pyrex pan. But the kicker? The sourdough bread was in the oven at the time of the explosion. I have to throw it away.

At least the focaccia pizzas I made for dinner came out good and yummy.

Tomato basil focaccia

Pepperoni focaccia

Veggie focaccia

Text Messages Saved in My Phone

May 2, 2008
  • Mmm. Sounds fishy to me.
  • No drama. No no no drama, drama.
  • what are you wearing?
  • That's so funny cuz I was just thinking of not giving you $95.
  • I am going to see my uterus
  • That Hansel. So hot right now.
  • btw i am so hot right now
  • As you know, I'm particularly fond of crazy.
  • Bastards!
  • I am totally playing bingo
  • Do you have enough post it notes to wallpaper your coworker's cubicle?
  • We have orgy bars here
  • Sounds like the universe hates you tonight.
  • Do corneas grow back?
  • Happy STDs to you too!

Additional Content

Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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