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April 2010 Archives

Bird Watching

April 28, 2010

When I took her out this morning there were two seagulls standing in the middle of the street. It was terrible and awful and they deserved to die for their flagrant flouting of the law. When she ran after them, they took flight but only to about 20 feet above the ground. The circled a few times, oblivious to her loud barking condemnation of their sins. Once we passed their spot in the street they landed again.

Birds have no sense of decency.

A Girl Has to Eat

April 23, 2010


Steam 4 racks of crab legs because Steve thinks he will eat one and a half and you're pretty sure you can finish two. And maybe Steve's remaining half. Steve will eat one and a half racks and you will eat one and a half. While Steve smirks at your overeager stomach (retort: CRAB. DUH.), shell the remaining rack and save the meat in a tupperware in the fridge.


Rub some garlic and spices under the skin o a fryer chicken, stuff the cavity with onion and lemon slices, and then roast that baby at 400 degrees for 45 minutes. The house will get smokey and you'll have to open windows and doors. But that's okay. Eat a bunch of the chicken with hot No Time Bread and a lovely side salad.

After dinner and the chicken is cool enough to handle, pick all of the meat off the bones. Put the bones in a plastic bag in the freezer and save to make stock at some later point in time. Put the meat in a ziplock in the fridge thinking you'll use it for pad thai later that week.


Steve makes tomato soup from scratch on the lowest of low flames possible, then wonders why the vegetables are taking forever to cook. Roll your eyes and turn up the temp while he's not looking, the go back to studying for your final exam.

Laugh when he pulls the food processor down from the cabinet and bings himself in the head AGAIN with one of its components. Be grateful there's no blood this time. Take over the food processing duties while he makes grilled cheese with fancy cheeses.


Make pizza with a new thin crust dough recipe. Double the recipe foolishly, then get frustrated when you can't roll it out thin enough. Saute some chicken and sun dried tomatoes half of the cheese you've ever used on pizza before. No one complains and almost all of the pizza is eaten.


Make pad thai and fry up a different chicken breast for it. Fail to soak the rice noodles long enough so that they will still be pretty chewy. Sprinkle with chopped green onions and drizzle with lime juce. Notice no one complaining too much because, hey: homemade pad thai rocks. Boil some chicken and rice for the dog who has become as food-snobby as her humans.


Pull out the crab and chicken from the fridge. Try to make some crab dip even though that's Steve's forte. Completely fail at making crab dip, what the hell is this crap yuck.

Turn your attention to the chicken. Chop it up real small like with your new Shun santoku knife and almost slice your fingernail off. Chuckle nervously to yourself, that sucker is sharp. Dice up half of a large carrot and 1/4 of a large onion and dump it all in with the chicken.

Pull out a jar of pickled garlic you forgot you had and dice up a good number of them, don't be shy. Then dice up some jarred roasted bell pepper you also forgot you had. And the rest of the sun dried tomatoes you forgot you had that expired approximately a month ago? Taste it first, then dice it up. It all goes in with the chicken.

Pull out a weird jar at the very back of the refrigerator: pesto! Try to remember when you last bought pesto. Check the expiration date, sniff it, shrug, and plop in a few tablespoons or so. Squeeze in some mustard and add a bunch of mayonnaise. Sprinkle in some Zesty Garlic seasoning mix and stir it all together.

Taste it and declare that it needs cheese. Lots of cheese. Cheese everywhere! 500 cheeses! Plop in some parmesan and stir it all again. Taste it, and declare it is Damn Good, Perhaps The Best Chicken Salad You Have Ever Made.

chicken salad

New Experience: Defensive Driving

April 18, 2010

I may or may not have received a speeding ticket within the last month or so, but if I had I'm sure the officer would have very pleasant and recommend I take a defensive driving course instead of paying the fine and taking points off my license.

A very wise recommendation, that.

Options for taking defensive driving courses (not limited to Alaska, I gather) are as follows:

1// Sit in a stuffy windowless room on a sunny and warm spring Sunday for eight (8) hours and sixty dollars ($60) listening to an old guy read monotonously from a binder of prepared materials when you could be running errands in flipflops and sunglasses and no jacket because it's 50 degrees outside and sunny and this time last week it was snowing buckets; or

2// Pace through the material online for twenty-five dollars ($25) a little bit here and a little bit there, while studying Economics, preparing dinner, painting your fingernails, throwing the ball for the dog, and constantly refreshing twitter, and then run to the nearest Kinko's to take a proctored test in 5 minutes.

Traffic school

Waiting for the Sun

April 13, 2010

{1} Spottie Dottie dress {2} Large brim floppy hat {3} Red wooden bead necklace {4} Red lucite bangle {5} Vintage woven straw and wood clutch {6} Fergie Henney

New Experience: the Groomer

April 11, 2010

Last week's new experience wasn't terribly noteworthy, but I did attend one of those career-enhancing seminars that some companies send people to. There were 5 minutes of good info near the beginning, an hour or so of trying to sell me books, then hours of boring nonsense. At least I got to wear jeans.

But this week we took Olive to the groomer's.

After the groomer's

As Spring breakup got muddier, every time she went out she would bring back buckets of mud up to her armpits, 300 leaves, and a tree or two all clinging to her scruff. It wasn't long before her scruff was so matted I couldn't get a comb through it, and I knew it all had to come off.

Olive haircut 2

This is the first time I've ever paid someone to groom a dog, I've always just done it myself. I gave her a little doggie downer just before dropping her off at 7am, but that didn't stop her from trying to nip at the technician. And bark uncontrollably when brought into the back room because we had obviously left her for dead.

Olive haircut 4

I worried that the medication wouldn't knock her out enough, that they'd call back saying we had to come give her more or that it just wouldn't work at all and we had to take her home.

A little turn on the catwalk

Neither of those two scenarios happened, and Steve picked her up at 3pm. He txt me a photo of her shaved butt and poofy tail, but saved the rest as a surprise for after work. She was still glassy-eyed and tired from the drugs but so, so happy to be away from the strange people.

Olive haircut 5

Since the groomer's she's been sticking very close to us, sleeping curled up in my armpit or half on top of my hip, just to make sure we don't leave her for dead again. Because being left for dead is super stressful.

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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