A Girl Has to Eat
Sunday.
Steam 4 racks of crab legs because Steve thinks he will eat one and a half and you're pretty sure you can finish two. And maybe Steve's remaining half. Steve will eat one and a half racks and you will eat one and a half. While Steve smirks at your overeager stomach (retort: CRAB. DUH.), shell the remaining rack and save the meat in a tupperware in the fridge.
Monday.
Rub some garlic and spices under the skin o a fryer chicken, stuff the cavity with onion and lemon slices, and then roast that baby at 400 degrees for 45 minutes. The house will get smokey and you'll have to open windows and doors. But that's okay. Eat a bunch of the chicken with hot No Time Bread and a lovely side salad.
After dinner and the chicken is cool enough to handle, pick all of the meat off the bones. Put the bones in a plastic bag in the freezer and save to make stock at some later point in time. Put the meat in a ziplock in the fridge thinking you'll use it for pad thai later that week.
Tuesday.
Steve makes tomato soup from scratch on the lowest of low flames possible, then wonders why the vegetables are taking forever to cook. Roll your eyes and turn up the temp while he's not looking, the go back to studying for your final exam.
Laugh when he pulls the food processor down from the cabinet and bings himself in the head AGAIN with one of its components. Be grateful there's no blood this time. Take over the food processing duties while he makes grilled cheese with fancy cheeses.
Wednesday.
Make pizza with a new thin crust dough recipe. Double the recipe foolishly, then get frustrated when you can't roll it out thin enough. Saute some chicken and sun dried tomatoes half of the cheese you've ever used on pizza before. No one complains and almost all of the pizza is eaten.
Thursday.
Make pad thai and fry up a different chicken breast for it. Fail to soak the rice noodles long enough so that they will still be pretty chewy. Sprinkle with chopped green onions and drizzle with lime juce. Notice no one complaining too much because, hey: homemade pad thai rocks. Boil some chicken and rice for the dog who has become as food-snobby as her humans.
Friday.
Pull out the crab and chicken from the fridge. Try to make some crab dip even though that's Steve's forte. Completely fail at making crab dip, what the hell is this crap yuck.
Turn your attention to the chicken. Chop it up real small like with your new Shun santoku knife and almost slice your fingernail off. Chuckle nervously to yourself, that sucker is sharp. Dice up half of a large carrot and 1/4 of a large onion and dump it all in with the chicken.
Pull out a jar of pickled garlic you forgot you had and dice up a good number of them, don't be shy. Then dice up some jarred roasted bell pepper you also forgot you had. And the rest of the sun dried tomatoes you forgot you had that expired approximately a month ago? Taste it first, then dice it up. It all goes in with the chicken.
Pull out a weird jar at the very back of the refrigerator: pesto! Try to remember when you last bought pesto. Check the expiration date, sniff it, shrug, and plop in a few tablespoons or so. Squeeze in some mustard and add a bunch of mayonnaise. Sprinkle in some Zesty Garlic seasoning mix and stir it all together.
Taste it and declare that it needs cheese. Lots of cheese. Cheese everywhere! 500 cheeses! Plop in some parmesan and stir it all again. Taste it, and declare it is Damn Good, Perhaps The Best Chicken Salad You Have Ever Made.
