Before I Leave Canada
I'm drafting this in the airport on my way out of Vancouver and back to Alaska (via Seattle). I spent a lovely day at the Granville Island Market and then did a spot of shopping. I eyed $250 boots (thats only like $248 US!) but pulled myself away before trying them on and falling in love.
Then I had lunch at a crêperie all alone and felt quite lonely and ready to go home. Traveling alone is very quiet although surrounded by a lot of background noise.
There were a lot of people in the restaurant all talking and laughing and making a lot of noise, just not directly with me. The streets and shops were full of people chatting and shouting and laughing and bustling, just not directly with me.
It's a strange feeling to be surrounded by so many people but being all alone. It made me remember a video: How To Be Alone.
And that's hard for me, being alone. Every year I get more practice; I would have never considered going to Vancouver alone for my brother's wedding had I not already been going to Juneau alone for work. Maybe in 5 years time I will find myself at a movie theatre all alone.
Baby steps.
I'm looking forward to being home with my family and my dogs and my mattress, where I won't be alone.
2 Comments
I am alone all of the God-damned time. Most of the time, it's not so bad. But I always have been alone. And going to a movie alone isn't so bad, you're not supposed to say anything anyway, so does it matter if there's no one sitting with you? And no one steals your popcorn.
But even worse than being physically alone is being around other people and yet still being alone. That's the feeling I hate. Where I'm surrounded by people, even people I know, and yet feel completely disconnected from all of them. That one doesn't come up too much, though. :)
Glad to hear you're not alone any more.
i'm a loner, i guess. i can be alone -- i just don't think i could go to a club and be alone. that would feel very yucky. plus, i don't like clubs.