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February 2013 Archives

Open Mouth, Insert iPhone: a Chronology

February 7, 2013

January 18, 7:30am. I arrived to work early to prepare for a full day of interviews scheduled back-to-back. I got to my desk, changed my daily voice mail, logged into my computer, and unpacked my work bag: lunch went into the refrigerator, iPhone... missing. Not there. I figured that I left it in the cup holder of my car (not the first time), and planned to run back to the car when I had a chance and grab it.

January 18, 12:30pm. Morning interviews completed, finally had a chance for a restroom break and walked to the car for my phone. Which wasn't there. Where could it be? I ran through my memory of that morning to see if maybe I left it at home, and called Steve to look for it. He couldn't find it. I remembered speaking with Donovan on my way out the door so I'm pretty sure I had it in the car and made no stops on my way to work. I logged into Find My iPhone and got a sinking pit in my stomach to find it a few blocks away from anywhere I'd ever been that day.

January 18, 12:45pm. Talked Steve out of coming downtown to beat up random people on the Park Strip. Remotely locked the phone and sent a message that it's lost please call me at work if you find it. iPhone immediately went offline. Cue panic about the thief turning the phone off and possibly ditching it. Set the phone to completely wipe the next time it's turned on. Posted on Craigslist and set up notifications for any pink iPhone that is posted for sale. Panic panic panic.

January 18, 1:00pm. Called the police and made a report, which included a conversation with the detective about the custom pink glass isn't really a case and there's a guy in town who does it, yes it's after-market, and it's pretty neat and not too expensive and his wife would totally love it, let me get you the guy's number.

January 18, 1:30pm. Freaked out on Twitter and got super annoyed at people chastising me for not having a passcode (which I did), not tracking it via Track My iPhone (which I did), and not calling the cops (which I also did). Lesson learned: Twitter doesn't like it when you just want to vent; Twitter wants to be all This Is What You Need To Do To Solve Your Problem even if you're all Dudes I Did All That Already I'm Not An Idiot Just Validate My Feelings Already Gosh.

January 18, 6:30pm. Steve, Donovan and I donned all of our winter gear and walked up and down the Park Strip and the surrounding blocks looking in trash cans and dumpsters for the phone in case whoever had taken it ditched it. Found nothing except some empty liquor bottles and a bag of dog poo. Stopped for frozen custard on our way back home to perk ourselves up for at least trying. Doesn't really work.

January 19, 7:30am. Arrived at Eagle River High School for a JROTC event that we hadn't realized was all freaking day of sitting on bleachers. With no iPhone and no WiFi connection and nothing to do except... watch the event. And lose all feeling in my legs.

January 19, 1:00pm. Because of Things and Drama surrounding the JROTC drill team, we didn't have to stay for the entire event (yay!). Steve and I drove to the nearest AT&T store and I upgraded to the iPhone 5. In white. Mourned my custom pink glass a little more, but it felt great to be connected again.

January 19, 1:30pm. Continued to check Find My iPhone every 10 minutes for any sign of the phone connecting to the internet and all data being wiped. Phone remained offline.

January 28, 8:30pm. Discovered Craigslist post earlier in the day for a rose pink custom glass iPhone 4. Asked Google "what to do if my stolen iPhone is posted on Craigslist?" and followed its and my husband's advice to call the police. Left a message with the burglary department. Took a screenshot of the Craigslist post. Freaked out on Twitter and declined all help to hunt the Craigslist poster down and puncture her tires. Also was my birthday. Was crabby.

January 30, 9:30am. Police finally returned my call, two days after the post had been removed. Police gave no crap about the entire thing, claimed it was a 2-person department and they didn't have time to look into every Craigslist post. He told us we should have contacted the poster and pretend we were interested, and request police meet us to see the phone and verify it was mine. Also everyone in the world has custom pink glass these days, so good luck with that. Hey that would have been awesome information to have TWO DAYS AGO when the post was still live. Steve called the poster, it had already been sold. I regretted declining the help of the Twitter Horde the previous night.

January 31, 5:00pm. Went to the gym with the family. Steve got out of the passenger's seat and called me over to look at something:

January 31, 5:01pm. Felt dumb. But also relieved no one had stolen it. Posted ALL CAPS on social media to publicly process my shame.

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Hi, I'm Valette

I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...

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